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2 out of 3 goals accomplished at college

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10-25-2005 , 11:41 PM

#26

[censored]

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 9,172

Christ I missed this the first time around.

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(he stuck a poolstick up her ass,

this is some [censored] up [censored] man

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10-25-2005 , 11:42 PM

#27

[censored]

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 9,172

Quote:

dont tell me youre actually going to delete this. dont do it.

please, don't.

Don't you guys remember? While he bans liberally, [censored] isn't deleting virtually anything but spam. There has been plenty of trash that's been allowed to live, and this is pure gold.

Exactly man.

and while I have no doubt theredlight will go down at some point it wont be because of this.

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10-25-2005 , 11:47 PM

#28

Hopey

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 12,004

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None of this all over her chin [censored] either, it was all over her.

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She almost didn't go down on me (I had some raunch cock stench from not showering since Sunday night).

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Oh, FYI my first goal was to win a fight - did that the cheap way. I actually used a one-shotter of mace from my keychain (ordered it online), so Im not too proud of it but it did the job.

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It was great because after like 30 seconds he just had this muffled crying going on.

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Goal #3 might seem [censored] up to you, but basically I want a girl to piss on me in the shower.

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10-25-2005 , 11:49 PM

#29

StevieG

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 6,792

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Anyways I want to try and lock in on a girlfriend for this one, since obviously I wouldnt let just any girl do this.

obviously

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10-25-2005 , 11:51 PM

#30

mslif

banned

Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 1,891

Congratulations on fulfilling your goals, you are one sick puppy.

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10-25-2005 , 11:52 PM

#31

NotMitch

old hand

Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 1,446

Quote:

Goal #3 might seem [censored] up to you, but basically I want a girl to piss on me in the shower. Again, just a one time thing and since its in the shower it will be clean and all.

I thought this was gross until you pointed out it was in the shower, thats almost medical.

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10-25-2005 , 11:55 PM

#32

[censored]

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 9,172

Two questions for everyone:

1) how much greater are the chances my man here has gets a crap taken on his chest at somepoint then the average male?

2) what does the porh he is downloading in a year look like?

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10-25-2005 , 11:58 PM

#33

Colonel Kataffy

veteran

Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 2,609

Quote:

Anyone else have any goals they set heading into college this fall?

Get good grades...I guess.

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10-25-2005 , 11:58 PM

#34

MattSuspect

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 13,690

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2) what does the porh he is downloading in a year look like?

I'd say there is a good chance it looks similar to your avatar.

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10-26-2005 , 12:00 AM

#35

junsie

grinder

Join Date: Jul 2005 Posts: 652

Quote:

1) how much greater are the chances my man here has gets a crap taken on his chest at somepoint then the average male?

I'd think the cleveland steamer would be a future goal for Red Light and with hard work and dedication he'll find that special girl to dump on him.

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10-26-2005 , 12:01 AM

#36

StevieG

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 6,792

Quote:

Two questions for everyone:
1) how much greater are the chances my man here has gets a crap taken on his chest at somepoint then the average male?

Mean or median guy? I'd say te median guy has zero chance of getting a crap taken on his chest because more than half have no interest in this.

Someone I knew once claimed to have done this. He has told a lot of tall tales, but this one actually had me convinced because I could not figure out why he would lie about doing this.

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10-26-2005 , 12:02 AM

#37

ibankonu

journeyman

Join Date: Oct 2004 Posts: 204

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This might be the greatest post ever. I predict it won't make it until midnight.

Yes and No

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10-26-2005 , 12:23 AM

#38

BCPVP

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 10,806

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She almost didn't go down on me (I had some raunch cock stench from not showering since Sunday night).

Soooo, you're smelly and unclean.

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Oh, FYI my first goal was to win a fight - did that the cheap way. I actually used a one-shotter of mace from my keychain (ordered it online), so Im not too proud of it but it did the job. I sort of instigated it with this small-but-tough-looking kid in his dorm while he was by himself (I was just roaming dorm floors on a friday night back in sept) and he finally told me off and starting to come at me and I just put him in a headlock before he could run his mouth anymore, then came the mace and then I just pummeled on his sides for 2 minutes and booked it out of there. It was great because after like 30 seconds he just had this muffled crying going on. I almost got in some serious legal trouble since I was caught immediately, but fortunately I got an assault misdemeanor and a disc. from the university (my family employs an amazing lawyer, boo-yah)

Let me make sure I have this straight:
You baited a smaller, unarmed person into fighting you, incapacitated him with a weapon, and then continued to attack him while he was defensless? You are a [censored] coward. And then had daddy bail you out of trouble with his lawyer so you don't have to own up for your responsibility? Even more of a coward.

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Goal #3 might seem [censored] up to you, but basically I want a girl to piss on me in the shower.

And a pervert. A smelly, cowardly pervet. Aren't you proud of yourself...? I hope you weren't expecting a wave of awe at your "accomplishments"...

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10-26-2005 , 12:28 AM

#39

toddw8

veteran

Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,472

Quote:

Anyone else have any goals they set heading into college this fall?

Get good grades...I guess.

This made me laugh out loud.

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10-26-2005 , 12:29 AM

#40

Exitonly

Ray of Hope

Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 17,724

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This might be the greatest post ever. I predict it won't make it until midnight.

if it gets deleted there had better be a war to end all wars in the mod forum. because this is one of the best threads, ever.

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10-26-2005 , 12:30 AM

#41

cold_cash

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 6,137

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Are goals 4-8:
Donkey Punch, Cleveland Steamer, Rusty Trombone, Dirty Sanchez, and Hot Carl?

You forgot the Dog in the Bathtub.

And to the OP, using mace is friggin' weak and should in no way be considered 'winning a fight'.

It's almost like saying, "One of my goals was to win a fight, so I snuck up behind some unsuspecting stranger and brained him with one of my bowling trophies. He just laid there moaning; what a pussy. But anyway, that's one more goal accomplished."

Just be a man and kick the guy in the nuts right off the bat, then go to work on him.

Leave the mace in your purse.

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10-26-2005 , 12:31 AM

#42

lastchance

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 29,856

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goal for college: Not to ever hang out with you or anyone that might know (and not hate) or resemble you.

Ditto.

Goal 2: Meet people who do not know and resemble you in any way, shape, or form.

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10-26-2005 , 12:32 AM

#43

radar5

journeyman

Join Date: Jun 2004 Posts: 309

I think some one should send him the tub girl link.......It sounds like he might like it.

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10-26-2005 , 12:39 AM

#44

Reef

banned

Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 13,188

using mase was just dirty pool seeing as how you were winning anyway and it wasn't life threatening

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10-26-2005 , 12:45 AM

#45

MrWookie

Don't Call Me Meredith

Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 94,159

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using mase was just dirty pool seeing as how you were winning anyway and it wasn't life threatening

I think OP has a thing for this...

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10-26-2005 , 12:47 AM

#46

billymonk

journeyman

Join Date: Dec 2004 Posts: 386

Personally, I think the fact that he used mace to win the fight makes his post much better, and far funnier. I mean, in my opinion seeing what he described as the fight in person would be one of the most ridiculous things I could imagine seeing. It comes completely out of left field. Then again so does the rest of his post.

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10-26-2005 , 12:47 AM

#47

Joshssj4

banned

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 476

Quote:

So not more than an hour ago I completed goal #2 that I set out to do in my freshman year here at college: I gave a girl the money shot. None of this all over her chin [censored] either, it was all over her. She almost didn't go down on me (I had some raunch cock stench from not showering since Sunday night). In all honesty I'd say this will become a been there done that type of thing. Its essentially the same as jacking off, which I'm by no means above, but hey, BJ's are like a once a month thing for me so its a big deal that one was actually finished off the right way for a change.

Oh, FYI my first goal was to win a fight - did that the cheap way. I actually used a one-shotter of mace from my keychain (ordered it online), so Im not too proud of it but it did the job. I sort of instigated it with this small-but-tough-looking kid in his dorm while he was by himself (I was just roaming dorm floors on a friday night back in sept) and he finally told me off and starting to come at me and I just put him in a headlock before he could run his mouth anymore, then came the mace and then I just pummeled on his sides for 2 minutes and booked it out of there. It was great because after like 30 seconds he just had this muffled crying going on. I almost got in some serious legal trouble since I was caught immediately, but fortunately I got an assault misdemeanor and a disc. from the university (my family employs an amazing lawyer, boo-yah)

Goal #3 might seem [censored] up to you, but basically I want a girl to piss on me in the shower. Again, just a one time thing and since its in the shower it will be clean and all. My friend said he did this in high school and afterwards the girl let him do anything to her (he stuck a poolstick up her ass, plus he came on her after sex like every single time). Anyways I want to try and lock in on a girlfriend for this one, since obviously I wouldnt let just any girl do this. I probably wont tell anyone that I know in real life about this either since its one of those things Ill get ragged on til Im 30 for, so itll be nice to have this outlet!

Anyone else have any goals they set heading into college this fall?

I really want to hurt you.

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10-26-2005 , 12:56 AM

#48

lapoker17

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 8,960

If this is fiction, then you may just be the greatest writer of all time.

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10-26-2005 , 01:01 AM

#49

BWebb

veteran

Join Date: Jul 2004 Posts: 2,797

Who else was 99.9% sure that a threesome was going to be one of the three goals, only to be horrified by goal #3? That is, of course, he said it was going to take place in the shower. That made it much better.