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12 Body Builders v Silverback Gorilla

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01-14-2012 , 01:56 AM

#326

zipppy

veteran

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 3,150

Some days I'm glad to live in an advanced society, and some days I want to see 12 humans fight to the death against a silverback gorilla.

And all days are both.

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01-14-2012 , 01:57 AM

#327

zipppy

veteran

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 3,150

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fedfan691

lol yes, let's give the guys crazy/strong/insane enough we want them to face a silverback gorilla a pardon if they SURVIVE FIGHTING A SILVERBACK GORILLA, because that makes sense.

This isn't about what's good for our free population, this is about what's good for the match.

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01-14-2012 , 01:58 AM

#328

Fedfan691

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 4,386

Quote:

Originally Posted by zipppy

Some days I'm glad to live in an advanced society, and some days I want to see 12 humans fight to the death against a silverback gorilla.

And all days are both.

damn i like you

Quote

01-14-2012 , 01:58 AM

#329

TBadr

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 5,669

to those suggesting the humans hold him down or get a hold of his limbs, look at the circumference of his arms/forearms, then of the speed and force that the SB gorilla can generate and move with to shake them off of him. Would be like an adolescent chic trying to hold on to a mechanical bull. Even if we were to assume that 2+ humans could hold on to the SB's arm, it would bite it off in a second. I agree on this essentially being a "how many humans can a gorilla rip apart before it dies of exhaustion" scenario.

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01-14-2012 , 03:14 AM

#330

CheckCheckFold

old hand

Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 1,577

gorilla owns 200lb leopards

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01-14-2012 , 03:31 AM

#331

Midgeotto

newbie

Join Date: Dec 2009 Posts: 38

The gorilla would just own the body builders.

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01-14-2012 , 07:36 AM

#332

Randiek

veteran

Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 3,101

Quote:

Originally Posted by blayney87

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lb-vpmW1n7U

Gorilla wins.

I mean do you remember what Travis the chimp did to that lady?

(Sound NSFW) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgS0KgT5APc

Animals don't **** around, they are brutal.

That gorilla is just chilling and casually drags around a pretty tall guy like its a plastic bag. I think if he is angry he can toss a guy around with one arm. Also, he pretty much has 4 arms. Gorilla wins by a landslide, as long as it understands the concept.

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01-14-2012 , 11:26 AM

#333

IcyHotMonkey

veteran

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 2,771

Quote:

Originally Posted by CheckCheckFold

gorilla owns 200lb leopards

"arms strong enough to flip a family sedan."

2-3 of the bodybuilders could do the same.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature...C0I1RFOA#t=59s
or 1 for a smaller car.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqX5K...eature=related

SB Gorilla:
height: 5.5ft
weight: 400lbs.
2 inch canines

judo chop?

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01-14-2012 , 12:36 PM

#334

TheJacob

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 3,867

Quote:

Originally Posted by TBadr

It would take more people than you can fit in the space around a single limb to hold down a single limb.

Plus any organization you have will go out the window as soon as some guy gets thrown 30 feet.

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01-14-2012 , 01:26 PM

#335

Hardball47

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 13,316

Quote:

Originally Posted by zipppy

I'm still torn between the two sides.

Best so far ITT.

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01-14-2012 , 02:02 PM

#336

BlueFoot

journeyman

Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 213

I wish the Coliseum were still active so we could find out

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01-14-2012 , 02:09 PM

#337

TheJacob

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 3,867

Quote:

Originally Posted by BlueFoot

I wish the Coliseum were still active so we could find out

Did they have tranquilizer guns?

Otherwise they'd be back where we started. Bunch of guys trying to fight a silverback so a bunch of guys can fight a silverback?

Quote

01-14-2012 , 02:11 PM

#338

BlueFoot

journeyman

Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 213

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheJacob

Did they have tranquilizer guns?

Otherwise they'd be back where we started. Bunch of guys trying to fight a silverback so a bunch of guys can fight a silverback?

Yeah cuz the Roman Empire could never catch a Gorilla

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01-14-2012 , 02:31 PM

#339

thisisintense

adept

Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 995

you guys are severely underestimating how much a kick to the groin hurts a gorilla.

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01-14-2012 , 02:35 PM

#340

Bidz

Hurts so good

Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 37,407

lol at the guy designated for that job knowing he'll be the first to die a painful death

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01-14-2012 , 02:39 PM

#341

jimi1999uk

old hand

Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 1,893

How long are the 12 bodybuilders together in the cage for pre-fight. If it was for a decent level of time couldn't they all come to the conclusion that "yeah, we is ****ed".

Given that knowledge, couldn't one of the bodybuilders give his life to allow the other 11 to use his shattered bones as spears, stabbers. 11 of them with bone shards would help their chances no end.

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01-14-2012 , 02:40 PM

#342

TBadr

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 5,669

Plus gorillas have very tiny peens and chances are the kicker will miss and get ripped apart.

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01-14-2012 , 02:57 PM

#343

grando

witty comic

Join Date: Aug 2006 Posts: 10,680

I dunno - 12 guys is a lot of mass for the gorilla to deal with

if you just rush it and get it down and take out its eyes and decimate his junk you have a real shot

I'd set the line at -300 gorilla

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01-14-2012 , 03:04 PM

#344

Shoe Lace

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Sep 2004 Posts: 3,654

I think if 5 of them tried to jump the SB at once it will just spring up and send them flying, then proceed to charge at an isolated person and rip him in half instantly.

There's just too much raw strength to deal with. IMO the SB walks away with mild injuries at most, and the 12 dudes are in at least 36 pieces.

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01-14-2012 , 03:39 PM

#345

Victor

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 81,654

Quote:

Originally Posted by ashinynickel

Prob not a highly credible source but:

http://www.straightdope.com/columns/...full-grown-man

these strongmen are proly 3-4 times as strong as the 165 "man" in that article.

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01-14-2012 , 03:45 PM

#346

daryn

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 26,912

Quote:

Originally Posted by TBadr

Plus gorillas have very tiny peens and chances are the kicker will miss and get ripped apart.

yep, half a ton of dynamite with a quarter inch fuse

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01-14-2012 , 06:07 PM

#347

Bo Goldman

adept

Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 710

San Francisco 49'ers defense in full pads/gear vs. silver back gorilla?

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01-14-2012 , 06:29 PM

#348

giraffeboy77

grinder

Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 460

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bo Goldman

San Francisco 49'ers defense in full pads/gear vs. silver back gorilla?

Well one fully grown Tebow killed the Steelers defense last week....

Last edited by giraffeboy77; 01-14-2012 at 06:31 PM. Reason: lol steelers

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01-14-2012 , 06:35 PM

#349

Charmer

veteran

Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 2,028

this thread is amazing

Quote:

Originally Posted by SharkTank43

With Tebow on the team, the gorilla's chances of ultimate victory literally plummet to 0

maybe, but you know the gorilla will dominate the first 3/4 of the fight while tebow lands like 2/16 strikes

Quote:

Originally Posted by lagdonk

Proposed solution:

1) A single fighter crawls submissively towards the Silverback, begins nuzzling its hindquarters, transitions into fellatio.
2) A second fighter approaches, also on all fours, to work the nutsack.
3) In twos and threes, the remaining fighters drift in, low to the ground, unthreatening.
4) They begin pawing, grooming, caressing the now-quiescent gorilla, positioning themselves all the while.
5) At a prearranged signal by the team leader, each fighter springs into action.
6) The gorilla returns to alertness only to discover that each of his limbs is pinioned between two fighters who've locked themselves around it. Then someone bites off his penis.
7) The rest is purely medical and doesn't require elaboration.

ROFL, easy POTY. honorable mentions to Empire Man and SC obv

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01-14-2012 , 07:13 PM

#350

Hardball47

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 13,316

This thread has been very educational. I learned a lot about silverback gorillas. I also learned that there are some naive/foolish people ITT. I even learned that David Sklansky has his own special sub-forum.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Charmer

ROFL, easy POTY. honorable mentions to Empire Man and SC obv

Definitely POTY nominee.