I feel a little bad about this thead, made in an emotional moment, but, whatever.
Thanks to Ben for this:
https://www.pokernews.com/news/2017/...mall-26698.htm
One thing to add to Ben's interview, about the week I carried a gun around with me: there were great lessons in that. Most especially was what I learned when I later met up with the guy threatening to he'd kill me (the basis for the character "Brains" in the novel).
He told me he was never planning to kill me, he just said that as a tactic, to see what **** it flushed. He said, think about it: if he were going to kill me over 12k (he wouldn't), would he announce that fact to the guys accusing me of making that theft? Would he warn me, so I'd be on my guard?
He made the threat, he said, to see the reaction of the guys accusing me. He said if they'd been telling the truth then their reaction to his threat to kill me would be dismay. They'd feel bad about having ratted me out to him, they'd be worried about the blowback of high-level crime on everyone involved in the operation, and they'd be scared because no one wants to work for someone who'd murder over money.
But if instead their story was bull**** then their reaction to his threat would be relief. Relief that he'd bought their story and relief that the only guy (me) who knew they were lying would be gone.
Upon hearing that he'd decided to kill me, they were relieved.
I realized then that he was playing the game, the street, at a higher level than most of us. To do that one had to be experienced and smart. He was both.
He also told me he was mildly offended that I'd think he'd ever convict me of the theft without hearing my side first, or that he'd kill me, risking life in prison, for so little money.
He then proceeded to give me a speech about how stupid I'd been to carry a gun because in real life, you carry a gun, cops catch you for anything else, and prices (legal ramifications) skyrocket. You can't even point a gun at someone, even show them the gun, without possible serious legal problems, much less use it. You can even kill in true self-defense but go to prison for murder cause the CJ system is a roulette table.
We shook hands, but I still didn't want to work with him anymore, and told him that, and he just said, sincerely, "Move on, man, we cool."