Open Side Menu Go to the Top
Register
Poker or my girlfriend. Poker or my girlfriend.

04-11-2017 , 04:42 PM
Right guys and girls, I really need some help here.

Basically, the bottom line of this is, my girlfriend has given me an ultimatum, her or poker.

Background- I have been with my girlfriend 8 years this month (I am 23, so is she, we got together when we were 15 years old). Recently, we hit a rough patch in our relationship, where we took a few weeks apart and I decided to tell her I would dedicate myself to our future (save for a house, wedding, kids etc).

She was extremely happy and just as all seemed to be back on track, she told me she wanted me to stop playing poker.

My background on poker is that I have played live and online since I was 18, and recently have been playing less online, and more live. Roughly 10 hours per week. It is my only hobby apart from seeing friends and it acts as a second source of income for me.

If she were asking me to stop because I was constantly losing money that I could be spending with her I would categorically agree that I should stop playing, but the fact I do well, spend minimal time playing and l love poker, should be reason enough for her to understand why I play.

So back to the problem, I now have to choose between my girlfriend and poker!
Does anyone have any sort of opinion or advice on this or has anyone else been in the same situation? If so, please help.

One final thing to make matters more difficult, I am wanting to start putting in more hours of poker as I would like to become "semi pro" by the end of this year as poker is becoming more and more like a whole second income. I haven't told her this yet though. Her hatred of poker all of a sudden came at a bad time for me to mention it!

Cheers guys.
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 04:43 PM
pics
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 04:54 PM
cant make a full read without pics
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 04:57 PM
How do you expect us to make this decision without proper pics?
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 05:05 PM
chose poker, aint nothin wrong with printin dat paper...

dem hoes will always be around...you young, CHASE DAT PAPER SON!
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 05:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kelvis
How do you expect us to make this decision without proper pics?
^^^

Why does she hate poker and want you to stop playing?
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 05:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by chip&aprayer
^^^

Why does she hate poker and want you to stop playing?
Who cares, women gonna women so we may never know why. What's important is the graphic representation.
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 05:36 PM
Be careful on how you handle this. Know what you want & what you can live with.

Relationships are partnerships that should be negotiated with both parties best interest in mind.

You have deferred alot of power to her and she is now expanding that power's reach.

The decision is yours and must make it promptly with no regrets. No looking back.

So goodbye to the gf or poker.
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 05:41 PM
pics before we can advise obv
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 05:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jamie.C
I decided to tell her I would dedicate myself to our future (save for a house, wedding, kids etc).
I'd think that 90% of the population would think that statement and gambling don't match unless you can show that you make serious serious money. Otherwise there's not really a difference in most peoples eyes between bringing home 500 bucks from roulette or poker.
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 06:22 PM
Why doesn't she want you to play poker?

If this were your sole source of income right now, I would say maybe she just wants security, which is reasonable, but you said that's not the case.

If you are not losing a lot of money, have enough time for your relationship and your other responsibilities, and gambling isn't otherwise negatively impacting your own life or relationship with her, she is being unreasonable. You each deserve to have your own hobbies. If you legitimately do not have a gambling problem, then it is wrong for her to issue you an ultimatum like this. I personally would have no desire to be with someone who wants to control me this way.

If this is such a difficult decision that you have to come online to ask for advice, then perhaps she's not the one for you. If she loves you enough she should be able to live with your poker playing, assuming you have no gambling problems. If you love her enough then giving up poker really shouldn't be that tough of a compromise.
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 06:42 PM
depends on how strong her arguments are
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 07:14 PM
In the poker game of life, women are the
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 07:21 PM
I agree that her request is probably unreasonable if you're not a money torching degen, and its sounds like she may be testing her power and control in the relationship. Ask her how she is going to make up for that lost income. Almost any type of ultimatum is usually BS. Obv we don't know all the details of your situation, but if it were me or one of my buddies, this is what I'd say. You're 23 and have been with one girl for over 33% of your life. IMO you shouldn't have a girlfriend in your 20s. I never understood why some of my friends were always in serious relationships at that age, in their prime. You should be out there dating as many girls and playing as much poker as possible. If you really love the game, then you may regret quitting and resent her for making you quit, always wondering what could've been. What if she pulls the same ultimatum BS with your next hobby or venture, and the one after that? Good chance that'll happen. I mean 10 hours a week is really nothing.
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 07:28 PM
As 33 year old and pretty experienced in mid term relationships:

-when your gf or pretty much much anyone important to you says "choose between me and ... whatever" -> you let that person go, regardless if you choose that whatever or not.
A person who says that should not be important to you.
Furthermore if you do puss out and give into her ultimatum she's lose all her respect for you as a man and she will dump you soon enough.

-you are so young, this is the time to have dating freedom. There is plenty of time for 8 year long relationships later.
I had 2 years and 7 years old relationships around your age and though they were good I did later on regret spending too much time with the same person while being so young.
It's one of the rare very few things that I regret doing in my life. You will too.
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 07:40 PM
I'll give the same advice that people tell when it comes into playing trading card games(like MTG):

If your girlfriend can't stand watching you do something you love, she isn't worth your time. Even though people see losing money at poker as a very bad thing, if you play low stakes and are responsible, in the end of the day it's just another hobby that you pay money to play and have a good time.

She has to accept you by the way you are and be fine with whatever hobbies you have.
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 07:42 PM
The fact that she WOULD drop you over ANYTHING is a sign she WILL soon drop you.

It's tough but you should not look at this as a decision between her and poker. You need to remove poker from the equation and realize she is telling you that you are currently not good enough for her the way you are.

If you are being honest with us and yourself and poker is not an issue of degening time and/or money then why is she forcing you to this decision? If you give in now whe will be dictating terms for the rest of your relationship. If you are OK with that then by all means stay with her.

"Those who would give up liberty for security deserve neither". I know that isn't exactly what is happening here, but it seems to fit.
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 07:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonIrenicus
As 33 year old and pretty experienced in mid term relationships:

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonIrenicus
-you are so young, this is the time to have dating freedom. There is plenty of time for 8 year long relationships later.
I had 2 years and 7 years old relationships around your age and though they were good I did later on regret spending too much time with the same person while being so young.
It's one of the rare very few things that I regret doing in my life. You will too.
damn man, im 31 enjoying my nintendo switch you make me feel like i should be old and wise in two years
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 07:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by King Spew
In the poker game of life, women are the rake, so more rake is better
lol
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 07:56 PM
As a general rule, when deciding between poker and an arbitrary other thing, denoted by X, it is optimal to choose poker, i.e., O(poker,X) = poker. By simple substitution of X = girlfriend, we have O(poker,girlfriend) = poker. Mathematically, the answer is obvious.
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 08:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonIrenicus
-when your gf or pretty much much anyone important to you says "choose between me and ... whatever" -> you let that person go, regardless if you choose that whatever or not.
There are very reasonable requests. For example: Stop watching horse porn while you beat me up. Other people don't want to live with a rapist or serial shoplifter.

Unfortunately, gambling is among the reasonable requests in a lot of people's book.
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 08:54 PM
Girlfriends are more important than poker but only the kind of girlfriends that don't make you choose between them and poker.

If you're a winning player and not spending every spare moment playing, you should be able to forge a compromise, if not I'd dump her. Just my 2c though.
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 09:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jamie.C
Roughly 10 hours per week. It is my only hobby apart from seeing friends and it acts as a second source of income for me.
If she's offering you this ultimatum based on a game you responsibly play and love then it's probably a sign of things to come. She isn't going to one day be OK with it if she's this irrational about it now.

Even if you chose her over poker, the fact it came to such a choice at all will always loom over your relationship and prop open the door to more BS.
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 11:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jamie.C
Basically, the bottom line of this is, my girlfriend has given me an ultimatum, her or poker.
Probably a bluff. Any previous reads on her tendencies, or is she a total unknown?
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote
04-11-2017 , 11:25 PM
Come over the top, see if she makes a good lay down.
Poker or my girlfriend. Quote

      
m