What helped you get over your fear of losing money at poker? I once heard a speaker encourage folks to do things [they knew they should do] even if it scared them. But I keep thinking about one of things I heard first when I started playing poker, 'scared money don't make money.'

Its a paradox to me. If you're too scared to lose money, you probably won't play much (or very long sessions)...but if you played scared, you will only increase your chances of losing.

Standtall

I guess the prospect of winning money counterbalances the possibility of losing. I am also detached more from the value of money, maybe it comes with lots of playing.
For example, if I lose $200, I wouldn't think "**** just lost 200 dollars." I'd think "**** i lost a buy-in!"

I've typed over this post a couple times, but I'm not sure how to train your brain to desensitize yourself over the dollar amount when playing. I just see the chips flying around the table as a way of keeping score. I only see the chips as "money" when I cash it out, whether it was subconsciously trained or if I've just become disconnected with the idea of money while playing.

Also in regards to being afraid to lose money, I realized that I'm not afraid to lose "money," but rather I simply don't want to lose.

Try not to think about how much you lost in terms of what you can buy.

Hope this confusing post helps a little...

make sure you are rolled for whatever you are playing. the more apt you are to be scared the more buy ins i would suggest.

Good question. Probably no easy answer.

I'd suggest:

* being very comfortably bankrolled. There are more than a few good players who advocate 100 buy ins. Way more than the 20 buy ins you'll see mentioned.

* asking yourself where your edge comes from, which will give you confidence in your game. Put it this way, if you can't say where your edge comes from then you have to seriously question why you're playing in a particular game

* related to the above, spending some of your poker time on studying the game, as opposed to simply playing a ton of hands so that when the time comes to ship the chips into the middle, you're doing so with confidence, rather than guessing 'n hoping.

* playing the game that's best suited to your personality, which is something that perhaps doesn't get talked about as much as it should. If you're the type of guy who likes to get in there and mix it up with the bluffers and out-psych guys, then No Limit is the way to go. If you're more a maths/technical kind of guy then maybe one of the Limit games is more your thing. (In before 'limit is dead' )

* remember, you're not primarily trying to win money. You're trying to make good decisions. Do that often enough and $$$ will follow.

Good Luck.

I play for chips. I play for chips. I play for chips. This is not money, it is chips. I play for chips. I play for chips. I play for chips.

I appreciate the feedback, fellas. I guess there is no 'silver' bullet. I don't know if you can 'will' yourself to move past that feeling. It is probably a process...maybe a combo of a good run, study, devaluing money etc...

Standtall

For me, fear of losing diminished when:

I gained confidence that I was a winning player, so any losses I made would only be temporary and could be made back.

I started using BRM (which really emphasises that you think about total buy-ins rather than $, in a sense)

I just had to force myself to quit playing scared.

Easiest thing to do is play at a level where the money doesn't matter to you if you lose it. If thats 2NL start there, then move to 5NL soon 5 bucks won't matter. You condition your self and get used to it.

if you can't comfortablly bluff off an entire 100BB stack you playing to high for your comfort zone reguardless of what your BR is at.

Think of it more like trying to get it in with the best hand, win or lose. That way, even if you get coolered once in a while, you're going to be ahead in the long run.

I have a problem with this but it's not the same

My problem is that I don't grind to much because Im afraid of losing money

I grind like 1200 hands/day(I play nl10 now) because I forced myself to do this(I know it's not a lot) but for example today I have nothing to do besides studying a little bit to college, I didn't have class and Im in my house since I woke up and I won't force myself to grind more than my usual goal(1200 hands/day) because Im afraid of losing

I think this is one of my biggest problems in poker and I have it since I started playing, I wish I could do something to stop this fear :/

**when Im playing I have no fear of losing and whatever, when I lose a big pot when I was the favorite I don't even care anymore because I got used to it(of course if a long bad run comes I get pissed) but you know what I mean, my problem is just the fear of grind more

It was a little easier for me when I strictly played SnGs...but now that I switched to Cash Games...I wrestle with it constantly. I'd say this is my own personal 'tilt' issue cause it shuts me down (play less)...all that needs to happen is I lose decent % of my buy-in...and I'm like 'done'. And its a joke cause I get upset about losing half my BI...then I read about guys tilting off 8 or 10 in a session. Then I feel like a little crybaby. And thing is...I play 5NL on Stars and I see guys win or lose pot...then they leave the table...just like me. Maybe most of us at this level are like babies...crying over our spilt milk.

standtall

It's tough. You have to learn from experience, but you cannot let experience burn you when you made the correct calls in the past and lost because over the long run you should come out positive. I just had KK and flopped a 3rd K on rainbow board and lost to a guy with AJ suited running diamonds. Aint right man, what a cruel game.

I don't really consider it money at all. I have a decent job after all, so when I deposited $200 I considered it as an expense. Since then I've run it up to $350 and then back down to $150 and now back up to $200, but I know I would only consider cashing out some around $1000 anyway. I do consider the value, but only by knowing that if I bust it all by playing too high a limit I have to spend money again to continue.
If you dont have a lot of money and losing $200 over a months time means a lot to you, you probably shouldn't be playing at all.

There's nothing wrong with setting a stop loss based on your total bankroll. If you grind and lose 10% of the total, it's best to just quit, relax, get some rest and try again next day.

For me it was becoming confident in my ability. After beating nl10/25/50 and soon moving up to nl100, I realized it cant all just be luck lol. Also, the more buy ins I have the more comfortable I am. When I move up to a new level and I have like 25 buy ins I play a bit scared until I have over 30, then I am able to loosen up. Thats why I decided to wait to have 30 buy ins for nl100. But I still have moments where I am playing scared, such as when I am on a downswing and I lose a bit of confidence.

I know where you are coming form with not playing too much because of this. I still struggle with this, but the more you win the easier it gets.

Appreciate the honesty in this response...and others like it. That alone helps fellas.

GL at the tables,


Standtall

Knowing it could happen and being comfortable with it.
But when I started I had little expectation of success and wrote the deposit off from the get-go as another gambling expense

I got over my fear by losing money. And then winning it back. When you first start playing and have yet to show winning history i would reccomend played way over rolled and don't get frustrated when you lose a buy in or two because you have a big enough roll to rethink your game.

Simple. If you are scared of losing, don't play. You will never win with this attitude.

You can overcome your fear of losing by doing it step by step. You can play is freerolls first to get the confidence to bet money. Anyway, when you lose money you get the urge to take it back and before you know it you overcome your fear....

I dont think the fear of losing, is just about the money.
Its also about failing.
If you naturally lack self confidence, losing is a further blow to your ego.

Fear is the path to the darkside.

I'm working on it. Every time I play.


Standtall

That was a very interesting posting sir, I never thought about it but now when you said it seens to fit perfectally of what my real fear must be

Also Thank you I REALLY enjoyed reading this

I'm not entirely sure how much I agree with this.