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This is my favorite thread. Just posting (as a 25 year old) to express how much I appreciate the advice. Especially the career advice.

This might be the single best thing you can tell at 25yo. The good ones are going to start disappearing REALLY fast. If you're going to be able to attract 25yo women when you're 30+ (because you're fit/good looking/wealthy) then it doesn't concern you. If not, it doesn't mean you have to get married asap, it's just an important concept to understand and consider.

Of course, the inverse is also true. If you're a 30yo man with no marriages and no children and some money, whatever 30yo single women are left are going to be chasing after you like their life depended on it. If you're in a market with hot 30yo single women (think Vegas/NYC), this can be an advantage. My buddy is 34 and has to beat them off with sticks (to be fair he's tall and good looking).

Don't waste money or lose money (not poker normal variance type loss) like ever. That's it.

I think many of you have the wrong impression when it comes to women. Many women these days are doing the same things men are, and they put off long-term relationships for their careers. This is why the birth rate goes down in advanced economies. The pressure of careers put personal relationships on hold.

If you're 30 you have PLENTY of time to meet women. It doesn't get rough until you hit 35 or so. I'm 37 and I feel absolutely confident that if I started to date again tomorrow I'd be absolutely fine. Fortunately I'm done with that game (because it really is a pain in the butt) and I'm very happy with my wife and kid. Life is actually less stressful not having to ever worry about meeting girls anymore, as many of you unmarried guys probably are hitting me with the old "point and laugh". It's true.

The real issue is that if you get lucky and meet the right girl for you when you aren't quite ready to keep her around, keep her around anyway. They just don't come around very often and if you ever get rid of her thinking you'll get a better one later, know that it could very well not happen.

You can't help who you love, so when it happens don't throw it away for some girl with a nicer butt. The butt goes away when they hit 35, good personality traits don't.

Edit : every man I know who married a girl they "settled" on is absolutely miserable or divorced. Every guy who just stuck with their girls they really got along with well are very happy.

this

and this

I'm glad wil318466 chipped in....

ppl, so underestimate a good relationship and it's effect on other stuff in your life

cliffis:

The problem is the good girls are starting to get snatched up by 25
Which was the post originally

If you want a career girl as a wife I guess your advice is okay

But if you want a nurturing woman to make babies with, the good ones aren't gonna wait till their 30

Hubby's age != Wife's age. I'm not sure how old you are, but I can assure you that woman 25 years of age and younger don't suddenly disappear from existence when you hit 26 (or 36 or 46).

Add in that at 25, you aren't even fully formed as a male.

Age/2+7 rule ftw.

Not everyone's a creep/sociopath who likes to date damaged much younger girls.

Advice about women after 27 is good. There are many reasons why marrying closer to your age is better for everyone and better long term. It's not the end of the world - there are some amazing girls left in their late 20s and 30s - but it's good advice on average.
That depends on your intelligence. If you're a bit of a dickhead then I agree, you probably don't get a proper sense of yourself and the world until your late 30s or early 40s. But most of the guys here have some intelligence and reach most of their depth by their early 20s.

I wasn't suggesting hanging around high schools or seeking out women with a daddy complex so as to take advantage of them.

Past college age, they simply aren't little girls any more. If they are emotionally mature, they are emotionally mature.

I've been with woman younger and older than me. It is emotional maturity (and the obvious things like being decent towards each other and enjoying each other's company and having common/shared goals) that matters.

I would have agreed with you when I was in my twenties. Luckily, if you are intelligent, you evolve over time and never stop changing.

I'd go far as to say that anyone man 25 or younger that says he has life and himself figured out is a fool.

No. No women under 27 would date a man over 40 without serious immaturity or emotional damage. Older men have nothing to offer smart, independent, emotionally developed women. For women less than 30, 98% of 40+ men are, as compared to her potential dating pool (25-35):

- Substantially less physically attractive
- Less agile mentally and emotionally
- Less suitable as fathers
- Have far fewer good years left to share
- Less reliable (aging takes it toll, and substantial health and emotional risks come in).
- Usually have significant baggage (kids, divorce, established careers/locations, failure at life hence being single)
- Less to offer in the far future (he will be 70 when she is 45-55).
- Less able to connect and share similar goals, ideals, social circles, new adventures, and hence open-ended possibilities.

Why would any sane, undamaged woman choose an older man except for money (hardly the basis of a marriage), desiring of a daddy figure (which she will grow out of) or short term insecurity (hardly the basis of a marriage)?

Again, if you just want a vagina and don't care about total desirability, it doesn't matter so much, but I think most men want a desirable wife they can connect with long term.
Emotionally mature women don't date much older men. It is the little girls, the damaged and the confused that date much older men. If that's your thing then I agree, you can date or even marry such women into your 40s. It usually ends badly for both parties though. I have met many couples with >15 year age gaps. It works out fine for a while, until the woman grows up a bit emotionally (this can happen anywhere from late 20s to 40s) and realizes what she's done. Usually the precipitator is the man becoming slower or ossified in some way due to aging. It's ugly to watch. Then you're left with a situation where he either controls her, or she leaves him. It's not a healthy or happy way to live your life in the longer term. That's why the advice in this thread is very sound.

Specifically at the question (and leaving out your leading remarks of "undamaged" "daddy" and "insecurity": It depends on the man in question. His total worthiness.

Also, see bolded comments.

LDO. Most everyone wants someone they can connect to long-term. Seems to be a very common goal.

That was quite the rant, my friend. Did mommy leave daddy for an older man, or did you lose your gal to an older man?

Obviously joking there (and apologies if you have had bad personal experiences), but when people get married there is ALWAYS the risk that things won't work out. There is always a chance (and it is quite likely) that someone will grow past the relationship and/or someone will not grow within it.

It isn't binary. I've known many relationships that worked out contrary to what you have seen.

I did like your use of "ossified" in a sentence. That bodes well for you. Studies have shown that people who can use "ossified" in a sentence are 7% more likely to have good long term relationships.

Of course of course this is the case

Gets kinda hard to land the good young ones when ur older tho
You'll be way more likely to end up with a gold digging sociopath

I'm only 27, broke up with 30yold GF recently, mostly cus of age for what it's worth, been thinking of this kinda stuff alot lately given circumstances

Horrible
Just horrible untrue advice

Early 20s ?!?!
Gtfo

Maybe this was the case years ago, but now that college(even good ones) is basically highschool with drinking and no parents, everyone is 4 years behind

Brian great responses and great advice

How old are you what do u do etc?

I'm a 27yold gambler FYI

All of your points seem to be either a) false or b) about much older having much more emotional maturity/stability. Which are essentially daddy qualities. Hence, my point. Women who date older men throw out a vast list of inferior traits because a person has daddy qualities (emotional stability, crystallized knowledge). So thank you for agreeing!

No, not at all. Age discrepancies have never affected me personally. I am offering my experience and nothing more. But if you want to impute personal motives into it, you should mention that you are late 40s/early 50s? and are currently dating a much younger woman who Henry17 describes your attitude toward as a "living real doll":
That should put your advice (and your attempt to justify your own existence) into perspective. You seemingly have no interest in marrying anyone (or being a good person). Your advice that people can get into a healthy long term relationship with much younger women comes from that perspective, and should be seen in that light.

People should also note that you said you went bankrupt eight years ago through bad investments, and had a failed marriage, and yet are happy with your life. Despite these massive avoidable failures you said you wouldn't give 25yo you ANY advice. I'm glad you're happy (wouldn't want anyone to be unhappy), but people should consider that you are probably a sociopath given how you are happy to let other people (your creditors, your family, silent, damaged young women who don't bother you too much) bear the costs of your large failures. No one should be taking any advice from you, investing, life or otherwise. There are enough successful and honorable older people to listen to that people don't need advice filtered through the mind of a failure/cynic.

Everyone here agrees about the 25yo relationship/marriage advice. You don't. They can choose who to listen to.
Ditto!

I have never met a happy 35yo woman with a 50yo+ man (where the relationship started at under 25). This would have to cover maybe 30 couples. Perhaps if you live somewhere like New York or Boston, your experience is different - I imagine money and social standing could sufficiently sanitize such relationships there. And if your standards are low then of course you can make 40 and 25 work if you're willing to settle for very flawed/damaged women. But the point was that the quality women start to disappear around the mid 20s, with most gone by 30, and this is very valid. The point is also that most quality 25yo do not want to date someone old enough to be their father. This is also valid.

Regardless of whether you agree, you have to admit that the strong decline in eligibility of the average man as they get older, plus the intractable problems that age differences cause in relationships, mean that most people should heed the advice about not having a long time to find a great girl once you're in your 30s.

this has to be teh most ******ed comment itt. you obv know nothing about this subject so just stfu and stop giving ******ed advice.

I'll say it again, the world wont run out of 25-27 yr old girls so dont be in a rush to marry one just bc idiots in this thread said you should (bc otherwise you will never marry a cute/smart/undamaged girl obv). If you do you will be miserable or divorced like was mentioned before.

No one is saying you should "rush out" and marry someone. Just that you should be aware that most of the pool dries up faster than you think it does. Your time to have a decent probability of finding a partner who's high quality and you're likely to be happy with is measured in years at 25, not decades. And undamaged young women do not marry people old enough to be their father. Normal sensibilities, social pressures, chemistry, physical attraction and simple rationality stop it from happening in normal people. The odds of getting someone suitable when you're in your late 30s is many times smaller. The dating pool consists mostly of undesirables your own age, and a small pool of damaged young women.

Ultimately it's a numbers game. At around 25 quality women start rapidly disappearing from the scene, first into serious relationships and then into marriages. Most of those left are hardened career women or dregs.

Better get married before all the women disappear. You don't want to get left with an "undesirable"

My single biggest piece of advice would be to find work you really enjoy. Don't settle into a career you're meh on. Life is too short to not enjoy yourself, you spend too much of your life at work to not enjoy your work, and if you don't like your work then you're not likely to be successful. There's nothing sadder to me than to see people counting every penny and recalculating the day they can retire b/c they hate their jobs. It's pretty amazing being able to look forward to going to work in the morning.

I'm 26 now, but If I had given this advice to my 18 year-old self, I might be a millionaire now.

Get super efficient with your time. Develop methods that reduce procrastination and waste. Focus completely on developing a daily routine and develop extremely positive habits that impel your actions. This is the key to why great people succeed - they saturate their day with positive activities and not wasteful ones. Seriously, if you do this, it's almost impossible not to succeed. The habits we develop and put into place today, define the character of the person we are tomorrow. You need to develop positive habits and become enslaved by them. We become enslaved by our habits be they positive or negative, we are only free to choose the masters that enslave us.

I'm awake 15 hours a day, so I plan how I'm going to spend those hours achieving what I need to achieve. If you don't have this attitude, you'll almost certainly stray and start doing wasteful things like watching 15 episodes of Sister Sister in a row or arguing on Youtube about 9/11.

Many people would argue about this quite a bit. I completely agree that it's preferable to do something you truly enjoy, but it's actually very rare for people to find a career they enjoy and be able to make a desirable amount of money in it.

For me, I'd rather have a "meh" job and make good money than a job I really enjoy and make crap money. I would not, however, do a job I despise for good money. It's more about tolerance.

I'm also a person who dislikes my jobs quickly. After approx 6 months in any role I want to do something different.

I'm sure this point will be contested in the next 50 posts or so.

I agree. It's not that hard to separate out your work/personal life. I don't like trading or owning my businesses much at all (they're a downright pain in the ass at times despite low hours), but it pays more than any job I would enjoy and gives me less overall time at work.

If work is intruding into your personal life (50+ hours, long commute), then obviously you need to rethink it, but otherwise doing something you love is both hard to find and overrated and can be damaging to actually doing well, as you're always waiting for that dream job rather than going for maximum income.

Also, amazing advice from Megastar.

I find it quite shocking that people can't manage to find a job that they both enjoy and make reasonable money.

Those aren't "daddy qualities." Emotional stability is an absolute requirement for a good relationship.

Yes, I am. And it is working out very well. And Henry got me wrong. What I have is a very sweet woman with excellent qualities (emotional stability, happy with life, cute, kind to others, calm, etc.). I readily admit that I've been very lucky.

I was married (to an older woman) and raised kids. Made the mistake of me marrying too young and us growing apart. Happy overall because I didn't and couldn't have known better at the time.

"Don't bother too much" = happy woman (or man for that matter). A highly contested relationship is a miserable one. Happy people are quiet. They talk calmly and the conversations are enjoyable.

Bankruptcy was from taking on too much risk (too highly leveraged), horrific timing in real estate in a market that lost its major employer. Risk taking is ok, but it is (ldo) risky.

And I've managed to do very well in life. Two small hiccups. Also happen to not be a sociopath. Felt really bad for the ex that things didn't work out (she is fine now). Did a fine job of raising the kids (and still am). The creditors made the same mistake as I did and we shared the loss.

They can. They should be waiting though for maximum chance that they won't grow apart. They definitely shouldn't be in a hurry to get married. Wil got it right when he said that if you find the right girl, you shouldn't run away just because you aren't ready, but you also shouldn't marry simply because of some belief that your time is running short.

Random factoid: Odds of remaining married if the couple is under 25 is significantly less than if the couple is older than 25.

Most couples are unhappy or don't work out. You are making a mistake in thinking that all woman who marry an older man are somehow damaged. I'm sure quite a few are, just as many who marry someone their own age are. Obviously, those are not really the ones you should be seeking out at any age.

At the bolded, obviously, it is important (LDO) to not date or marry woman who aren't attracted to you. Divide by 2 + 7 doesn't really leave you with being old enough to be her father. That would be a 36 year old dating a 25 year old.

It depends on the man. It also depends on the woman.