This has been one of the most important realizations for me as well, I had 3 great business relationships decide they didn't want to work so hard anymore in the space of 3 months. People I'd invested a lot of time in.

Still not sure what the solution is but it was an important realization.

his point seems pretty valid - attractive normal girls want to get married, thus most get married by 30......the ones that don't are either crazy, unattractive, or have other major issues...of course this is a generality but its sounds logical to me

This advise is outstanding, but I'm hella not going to commit myself to a relationship in my 20's.. jesus christ why would you do that.. for love and affection? I like the option of having any girl I want and not being stuck with one, black/white/latino/indian/asian.. unless your the type of guy who wants to feel "loved". But hey, I'm 20 what the **** do I know..

Yes, that's basically what I mean. It's a matter of odds, and the best choices get snagged quickest. You can say that it's about finding the perfect match for you, but let's face it, most people are looking for essentially the same combination of traits. (smart/hot/funny/etc.) There are very few awesome women at 30 who are still single.

This isn't as true in DC area where there are many women pursuing advanced degrees and interesting time-consuming careers and they are great catches, but it is true in most parts of the country. Tons of damaged goods.

No one is telling you to do anything. I'm just pointing out to you something that you probably are not even thinking about when you're in your early 20s.

And yes... we all age... mostly not very gracefully. Look all around you. Very few people are as attractive as they used to be. How many 35 year old women look hot to you vs 20 year old women? How many guys are as attractive at 35 as when they were 20?

Some women do marry older, but not that much older. Do you want to be with a woman who is looking for a daddy figure. It's probably just a source of future problems in marriage. And when you marry at 40, you're going to be that guy walking with a cane playing with your 20 year old in the yard when you're 60ish. What role do you think this age disparity will pay down the line, when she is 35 and you're pushing 55, etc? I know 2 guys like this. They're both fairly rich and the girls fairly broke. Hoping that you're somewhat wealthy and still look pretty good at 40 isn't a great future relationship plan.

Variety is great, but at some point variety gets a bit old. Trust me on this. It's awesome when you're very young and not used to getting any girls. But at 30, you've had enough experiences that variety isn't as awesome as it used to be and getting laid doesn't seem like the major accomplishment it used to be at 18. You start looking for quality, not quantity.

No, doing it right is realizing that it did work out, just not as you had originally planned. "Being divorced" is not the same thing as "being unfortunate."

Good point, will be in true in similar urban centers, NYC, Chicago, SF, etc.

Millennials are getting married later (while still youngish for 2010 median age for first marriage for females was 26.5 per below link), and many have grown up with a high divorce rate America so faith in the institution of marriage is decaying.

http://www.millennialinflux.com/marriage-me-later/

There of course counter trends...

-chick lit stories of older millennial women who never settle, missed the boat by marrying their careers and grad-school degrees and such.

-Something I have witnessed is gnawing pressure to settle from facebook / social media. If your 26 / 27 y/o gf has friends getting married, having kids, she's gonna want to make sure your relationship is serious or it ain't worth it.

You dont know half as much as you think you do!

Stay out of the grey area!

Learn from others successes and failures!

Read a lot!

Your employees are not your friends, dont treat like they are.

I think most 25 year olds are cognizant of that...it's excellent advice for 18yos and for 50 year olds though.

The problems with most luxury goods is that they're a facade that doesn't impress nearly as many people as the buyer thinks they will at the time of purchase. You buy the watch, and no one is going to notice unless you advertise it - and some occasional watch geek who you don't want to talk to anyway is going to question you on whether it's real or not. So you end up posting pics of your watch on 2+2 to get some validation and encouragement and hope to find a circle of other Patek owners who are also looking for someone to tell them they have an awesome watch.

The other issue is that it looks pretty ghetto if the rest of your lifestyle doesn't match it. We all know the kid who buried himself in debt payments and ate ramen for forever so they could get a new car. They might look cool for 5 minutes driving by your friends, but the story falls apart when they drive that car back to a crappy apartment to eat noodles.

That said, some luxury things can be great buys. For example, you can get your PPL and join a local flying club. Or buy a Porshe and come out to local track events. Things like that can have amazing returns in the form of networking and business leads.

And yes, I know you're joking but I'm bored so I will reply anyway.

lol

nice post tho

ppl do this all the time (the negative part)

get a job.

the job market was awful when i was finishing grad school and poker was still pretty good, so i decided to take some time off instead of taking a slightly less desirable job than i wanted.

now it's 5 years later and i'm an old man with an employment gap. my skiing has improved significantly though!

on the other hand, i might be happier doing what i'm doing. can't help but wonder though...

Just on the women thing.

Something totally unexpected. In their late 20s and eraly 30s loads of very high quality single women who had pursued life/careers etc rather than settling down and having kids suddenly got extremely keen on any single men.

I have never been pursued like that in my life and I was a nothing like in prime shape. It was very nice but scary in its own way. Dont underestimate the biological clock

Late 20's early 30s (or older if you want a younger wife) is a great time for a man to look for a wife and kids. just put yourself in social situations and the women will find you.

I'm just going to assume that your case is by far the exception rather than the norm.

You will need a cane at 60? If you sit on the couch your whole life. And who plays with a 20 yr old kid in the yard like you would a child? Being 50 with a 10 year old playing in the yard, who cares? Stay active and you wont be some crippled old man.

Being 60 and having kids graduating high school is no shame at all.

Guys like you seem to believe that the options are either one night stands every weekend or settle down for "life". To each his own. I'm almost 30 fwiw and I doubt I will ever get tired of a little variety. I don't want any one night stands, but I also don't want "monogamy" for "life".

I am not going to offer advice as not far past 25 but I will say the one place this doesn't apply is NYC. I couldn't be happier with my GF, but 28-35 is the sweet spot for guys. Under 25 and you are working too much with no money.

I felt the same way when I was 20. Could have dated an awesome hot chick senior year of college but basically shut it down as I wanted to be single. Had a great run in NYC in my early 20s single and dating and expected to be single into my late 20s and settle down early 30s. Found a great girl about 5 years earlier than planned.

Coming from someone who had never had a serious relationship you would be surprise what can change. GF was same way, career oriented and said she wouldn't get married until 40 (which I am still trying to convince her to live up to).

Yup, definitely. The women graduating from law school/med school/etc with a year or two of working under their belt are all the sudden focusing on relationships. But it really depends on where you live. Some metro areas are great, especially the ones with good schools. Everywhere else is kind of a wasteland. It seems like the burbs and small cities are just filled with divorcees and fatties with 2 kids and really low quality leftovers.

Very few people manage to win the battle against time. Maybe if you have great genes or spend a lot of time on vanity, you can do it. No one is saying you can't. But the odds are stacked against you. Look all around you and see how many people are winning their battle with time. Very few, and it's not like they all don't care if they get ugly and slow. We're not talking about exceptions here.

What kind of relationship do you want with your kid? Do you want to do stuff together? The younger you are, the more stuff you will be able to do. It's not about shame. It's about mobility, health, and being able to keep up. I don't think you realize just how many issues come up for people once they get into their 40s and 50s.

Obviously "luxury" is a matter of degree but I would say I don't own any true luxury goods (above average car, above average house..does an American Stratocaster count? it should) which make it an interesting question for me personally. (I think) I have to ask myself is once I am objective about it, would I get $15k worth of satisfaction out of it? Probably not, although there is something to be said for high-end watches in that they maintain their value (Patek especially). I am sure they are subject to economic fluctuations like art, vacation homes, etc. So it may be reasonable to enjoy it for a few years and then sell it which you certainly can't do with a car if you are looking to retain 90 percent of the purchase price (M3 excluded, BMW people are freaks).

It is all about knowing yourself and what you will like.

Buying the really nice beer making stuff was a mistake. I like doing most things once or twice, so renting at even exorbitant rates is almost always correct for me.

If you are the type that will really enjoy staring at your watch (or owning a nice car that you can take out on track day instead of renting at the track, or getting a wife instead of just dating), then buying is correct.

More simply, it is all about figuring out what level of commitment is going to make you happiest.

Why u would want a "career woman" as a partner is just beyond me

Guys age way better, as long as you exercise you'll prolly look way better at 30 then 20

Agree with this sentiment. I remember being at a recruiting event and a female sophomore accounting student told me she'd bow down and kiss the feet of a Big 4 partner if they hired her. It's as if some of them lack a soul.

For me it's more that women are too emotional to properly balance a career and a home life

A man can have a bad day at work and not take it out on his wife,(plenty do I know) women just aren't able

Then throw in giving birth and children into the mix, just seems like a disaster for any woman's personal life

great posts and advice guys!

Choose goals that reward your efforts best.

I'm usually long-winded in these types of posts, but I'll add my 2 cents.

Financial :

Save 10% of your income no matter what. You can spend the rest if you have to, but if you can't afford to live your lifestyle with saving 10% from your paycheck every time you get it, then you are living above your means. 10% is nothing, and the numbers don't mean much now, but if you take the numbers yearly and multiply it by 5-8 years, you'll be in your 30s and realize you have a nice chunk to do something with. Whether that is buy a house or invest, it's up to you, but at least you have it. I screwed up many things but at least I had my 401k when I was 30 and did something with it.

If you're going to take chances investing young, then do it in your 20s. You won't be firing in on crap shoots when you get older because you have too much to lose.

Personal :

Remember the most important thing in life, unless you make less than enough to live normally, are personal relationships. Investing time into a good personal relationship with your significant other reaps more rewards than people will ever admit. I'm not one to say "money isn't important", because it is up to a point, but personal relationships are what actually make you happy. You know which relationships (friends or significant other) are good for you. Keep them.

Be more self-reflective. In every instance where something didn't work out the way you wanted it to, ask yourself if you were to blame. This applies to both professional and personal. Find the leak, fix it. You reap what you sow, and perception is reality in more cases than you think. (This might actually be the most important of all the things I've listed because it's actually self-improvement.)

In almost every instance, sleep with every woman who wants to sleep with you. When you are older and don't sleep around anymore, the only thing you have are your memories. I don't regret any women I slept with, only the ones I didn't because I don't know how they were in bed. Obviously, do it safely.

Never, ever, ever believe a girl who says she can't get pregnant. Doctors are wrong too.


As for marriage, each person must make his own decision. Chasing a career and emphasizing income can put personal relationships on hold, but if you find a good mate young, then so be it. Don't throw it away because you "don't have time". You have time, you just have to decide which items on your list are most important to you.

If there is a trait in your mate that is an issue, it won't change after you're married, and you won't be able to change it. You have been warned. If she's selfish or a hoe, she still will be 10 years later.

Marriage was something I never wanted until I was 35, and even then I was a bit reluctant. In fact, marriage itself wasn't that big of a deal. When my daughter arrived, it changed every way I felt about everything in the world. I'm well aware how ridiculous that last statement was, but it's truly something you can't understand until you've gone through it.

It's also something that will make you realize you're mortal.