Quote:
Originally Posted by Rikers
I'm interested. Do you have some real world examples, non poker?
Yes mate! Of course I do...
Narcissistic abusers are known to use one strategy time and time again. They slyly create situations which they expect the victim will react badly in so that when the victim responds in the expected way the abuser can play the victim themselves.
This is a Level Three play, and it utilises the future present. Each Level is split into four parts - the past, present, future and future-present. If you consider any 'game' in respect of all five Levels at all four timeframes you will have considered all the elements that you can use to concoct your strategies.
That move from the narcissist was Level Three as they are disguising the true reason for their actions. And it is future-present because they are creating a more profitable situation for their next move.
These guys have other strategies too.
The first thing that they usually do is win over the victims affections by pretending to be whoever the victim wants them to be. Again this is a Level Three manoeuvre, except this time it only relates to the future. The primary goal of the narcissist is to justify a heightened opinion of themselves and once the victim comes to like them it enables the abuser to boost their opinion of themselves, and then the play is complete... Unfortunately this won't satisfy their desire for long. With the victim already emotionally attached to them, the abuser will need to come up with a new way to use this person to build their own opinion of themselves, and so they start creating situations in which the victim will react badly in. The worse they can make the victim appear, the better they will see themselves.
They also do something called gaslighting. This again utilises the future-present except this time it's Level Four. They understand that the victim is considering how they themselves are perceived. And so the abuser secretly creates situations which will lure the victim into looking at themselves and feeling as though they are as negative as the abuser is desperately trying to prove that they are.
These are three common moves made by narcissists and the Levels are quite clear to see... Well... It's reasonably easy for a normal person to work out how these abusers operate...
In this post I could have explained how businessmen use the Levels which I do think would have gone down a treat. I could have used Sun Tzu's book to describe how the Levels work in war which would have been interesting and would have made me look amazing. But I chose narcissism, even though I know very little about it... I chose narcissism for one specific reason and one reason alone - These narcissistic abusers are using high Level strategic methods, and yet, they have absolutely no idea what they are doing.
Once their ploy's are successful, the abuser will genuinely believe that the victim is 'low'. They will genuinely believe themselves to be innocent and the victim to be the cause of the problems in their relationship. These guys are using the Levels to strategize and yet they have absolutely no idea what they are doing. They are completely unaware of the rather sophisticated strategic method that they themselves are applying. And then, if you are stupid enough to explain to the abuser what it is that they are really doing, you will see what they call 'Narcissistic Rage'.
These guys have accidentally created conflicting knowledge in there mind. They are holding onto multiple understandings of themselves, which is Level One. Unconsciously the abuser has learnt that they themselves are low, or weak. And then consciously they have been convincing themselves that in fact they are strong. Any challenge to this 'falsely' strong opinion of themselves will then lead the narcissist to experience cognitive dissonance. They will go mental when challenged. If a normal person were to make any of those same strategic moves then they will be fully aware of how they are twisting and manipulating the victim and this will enable them to feel remorse which will lead to them refraining from such actions. But because these guys have knowledge that conflicts at the root of Level One, they suffer from cognitive dissonance which makes it almost impossible for them to see not only the truth regarding Level One, but also all the Levels above it too. If they could see what they were doing at Level Three, that would prove to them that they are not as great as they think they are, and so, they can't see what they're doing. Their mind blocks the higher Levels from them.
If an experienced poker player doesn't consciously understand any Level, they will have built up conflicting knowledge at their current Level which will make it difficult for them to see all the levels above it. This is almost exactly the same as what has happens to the narcissist. Narcissists are stuck at Level One in their game and they cant see any of the higher Levels, and that means that they have to leave all the strategizing to their subconscious mind.
These Levels are often used subconsciously. And if we build up knowledge without being consciously aware of the Levels we are bound to build trust in conflicting knowledge which will make it difficult for us to approach the parts of the strategic formula that we ourselves are using. For example, if a poker player consciously understands only how to play at Level Two, and doesn't realise how the higher Levels work, he will still bluff which is Level Three, but he wont be able to see how he calculates his bluffs. He wont be able to see the method that his own mind uses to deceive the opponent. And then, when someone like me kindly comes along and explains to them how this Level works, their conflicting knowledge will make them go insane. There is very little you can say to convince them of the truth regarding their own strategic method, but I have developed methods which we can use to teach Poker players and I don't see why the same methods wouldn't work on a narcissist.
Everyone you encounter in your life will have some narcissistic qualities. Narcissism is getting bigger and bigger all the time. And so it is really useful to learn those moves I just described. Once you can see what these guys are doing they don't bother you anymore.
Last edited by Yadoula8; 08-16-2017 at 08:07 AM.