Hello 2+2!

I'm this site's newest coach, having mastered the fine art of playing one cent machines adjacent to bars. For a reasonable fee I will teach you to:

- maximize your winrate by playing for five cents instead of one
- order double drinks instead of singles, maximizing your ROI
- ogle scantily dressed broads while appearing to play
- embark upon a drinking career that will inevitably devolve into alcoholism

Lest you think I am full of ****, here is a graph from last night's action:



Please note that my sick comeback didn't start until I pumped up the alcohol consumption.

Anyway, I've written enough, pictures are worth a thousand words etc. so I am sharing with you some screenshots from a recent session that basically speak for themselves.

Expert full housing for 35 cents:



Quad-tastic!



Flushy McFlusherson!



Straighter than Tom Selleck!



I turned this sweet honey into a flush, but the pic of that I took is gone. Trust me, I'm good:



NEED I SAY MORE? IMO:

this thread needs more Mat Sklansky. He was still drunk when he came to work at the 2+2 booth today, nice!

Bump.

mat wanted the entire marketing budget in the machine. and its good hes still drunk at work, I did my job then

you run hot...quads-boat-flush in 3 spins

please sign me up, i already got the drinkin and ogling broads part down pat

my roll is a little low however...stake me?

With a track record like that, I see a book deal in your immediate future.

Mat said that was the best night EMc ever spent in Vegas, true?

TRUE


EMc's rendition of "dancing queen" was particularly moving.

oops. Was I supposed to mention that? Sorry, bro.

Tuq,

I think calculating your tip amounts in terms of "credits" was revolutionary.

Why are you playing 7/5 JOB? Couldn't find a nickel machine that was at least 8/5?

Exactly. Name me another person in that casino who tipped 200 credits per drink!

Not one near the bar where I could overhear awesomely bad karaoke while I played. For example, Lesko "treated us" to a rousing rendition of "Trust Me" by The Doors.

All,

I just finished my first lesson and I must say that I am impressed. tuq's advice to break up aces full to shoot for four of a kind was revolutionary. Best $8.75 I've ever spent.

All,

I just finished my first lesson and I must say that I am impressed. tuq's advice to break up aces full to shoot for four of a kind was revolutionary. Best $8.75 I've ever spent.