1-2 $200 max buy in. 3 notable players in hand.
Me: late position $192 stack utg+4
Utg +1 Alex has at least $800
Utg +2 John has just over $300
Me: QcQs

Players call blinds to me, I raise to $12. 3 callers, $50 in pot.
Flop: J 9 4
Players check to me, I have position. Bet $35
Other player folds, Alex and john call.
Turn 10
Alex bets $75-John calls, I call
River 8
Alex checks angrily, John bets $100, I spite call all in, Alex folds.
John shows K2
River flush.

John and Alex are both good players, aggressive and unpredictable. I suspect Alex outflopped me, and I would have ran him down with my river straight. I don't worry about that so much, flopping two pair against me is going to happen from time to time. Obviously I should have folded the river, but could I have done things differently and gotten John to fold? Did I not bet enough? Any thoughts on betting strategy and overall odds would be much appreciated. I have a tendency to play a little softly and let people draw at me in general. My real gut thought about this was that John called $122 with only a diamond draw. I consider myself a decent recreational player, but clearly I'm missing something because this kind of thing seems to happen a lot to me, particularly lately. Running a little bad is one thing, but I must be part of the problem.
Thanks

first you wouldn't know what had gone out on that river .

and alex is pretty upredictable and according to his bet $75 is not big enough for his card . he might just have a high pair .

in live poker profiling and spotting tells is a HUGE factor .
you could have save that $100 if you found a small tell on john .
and yes you should have fold on the river ( john calls $75 and the $35 meaning he was waiting for something )

feel free to skype me if you want to talk hands-lkpearson12