Long time player here. Started when I was 13 and I'm 30 now. Never have been a consistent winner and it hurts me to say that given how long I've played. Had some sun runs here and there of course, including a 4.5k heater at 1/3 in a month at the poker room here in this state, but nothing more than that. I lost it all to spending on things I've always wanted so didn't keep the bankroll. Probably over a hundred $50 deposits online I've lost over the years and never got anywhere with them. The stakes that low just don't matter to me that much I guess and at the slightest loss I just go and flip my bankroll at higher stakes and then take a break from poker for a few months.

I feel like I know the fundamentals, but don't study GTO. I don't really want to study GTO. I just want to be able to play some live poker a few hours a day and pull out a small win rate, but even that seems to be difficult for me. I don't have a calling range preflop. It's mostly fold or raise except when in the big blind. I think my small blind play could be improved, since that's my most losing position, and I've decided to drop down the VPIP stat of that position to <10% because of it. I really don't know what I'm doing wrong (I'll get more on that later).

I want to go pro. I feel like I've played enough of this game that I feel I can accomplish that. I have a tendency of calling too many river raises or bets on the river, so I guess you could say I'm a calling station, but I only ever get to the river when I have a big made hand (because I fold so much to aggression on the flop and turn), so when I finally get to the river with that big hand, I feel like I deserve the pot and should just win no matter what. But that's never the case. I lose more on that street than any other I think. I need to be folding more. There's a red chip poker course I bought for live 1/2nl players that want to get better and in one of the videos, Ed Miller talks about how you should fold every time to big turn and river bets if you can't beat at least some of the hands they're representing for value. He says to just do it every time. It's hard for me to grasp that concept because what if they're bluffing? But he says don't care about that and just fold anyway, so I'm going to try and implement that more on the river.

I'm looking for a live or online coach for the lowest stakes who can help me go from a losing poker player to a competent one. I really want to be good at this game considering how long I've played and not give up. I'm looking for someone who is reputable on these forums and not just someone who thinks they can be a good coach or has little track record. I've read books here and there and have even seen GTO solvers (like GTO wizard) but I don't feel I can really improve with these things because I still lack things like controlling my tilt or folding rivers when I know I'm beat. I just need help really bad.

I'm not rich clearly and so I can't afford a lot, but am willing to try hard.

DM sent