bbbbbuuuut those BPC ********** cannot even beat Microstakes!
Who the *** cares about all those 10k months from all those people starting 2012 up to 2017. Some haven't even finished the contract and this whole thing is just a big big scheme because this is how success should be measured (why? because as a coach with no results i know best!).
They are so dumb hahah, they paid a 500 euro security deposit and now make 10k in a month, but they will LOSE that 500 if they don't finish. Man, they got TRICKED into this scheme. Jeez, those students are such hopeless-clueless.
As such they are failures because my irrefutable Plastic-Dummy-Logic tells me so. How do i know? Because my logic tells me so! Checkmate BPC!
Also, before i ever get down to the linguistic levels of BPC and use bad words to push students, i will refuse, as this is below my standards. I rather let my students starve then tell them "fu 1d1ot". Really, show some class. The only time you are allowed to lie is if BPC tells the truth about you!
Here is the Plastic-Dummy step-by-step guide to coaching:
Results are not important. It's overrated. As a coach you should definitely tell everybody that you are the best player (even if students of other coaches who can't beat micro stakes make more money than your whole team).
A good coach must first and foremost be a a good person and first offer coaching in order to buy mosquito nets. Because providing a deep layer of purpose and signaling to everybody is the REAL reason why coaching is done and why students wish to pay money. Only a fool would think that students are after results.
Only AFTER this is done, students should be taken care of. If there is not enough time or skill, too bad for the student. They will understand if you have to take a trip to Africa. How this is not obvious to everybody is something i am utterly disgusted and it's outrageous.
I am literally shocked.
You must have a super deep understanding of the game, even if nobody - including yourself - really understands what you're doing.
Also, step-by-step is overrated. Feeling and listening to all the players problems and being a good friends is superior. Anyways,
1) Tell everybody you coach a lot
2) Never provide any results from students
3) Ask your friends to tell everybody what a nice person you are - but never disclose that you are friends
4) If people ask too much, say that you have staked your business partner 5 years ago and that this qualifies you as the ultimate crusher coach. It also qualifies your business partner, and he then re-qualifies you. Irrefutable logic. How do i know? My business partner told you it's true!
5) Close your coaching thread (definitely not because nobody wants yoru coaching, but because you wish to save the $150 in order to buy more mosquito nets), because you get too many students, but then start coaching again without a coaching thread (if you don't understand this, you are not thinking deeeeep enough, it will all make sense!)
6) Join a team of 3 coaches that take care of 10 students. Because if 3 coaches couldn't get anything done, the 4th one with track record 1-5 will certainly make things happen.
7) And posting graphs is lol. Because there is no neutral party that could check and verify them. So don't do it at all and say it doesn't matter... also, results don't matter anyways, did you forget?
8) Complain about the biggest team and say they are not transparent and run a big scheme with hopeless losers. This certainly has no Freudian element...
9) Everybody who beats your regularly must be onto some scheme. How do you know? Because they don't buy mosquito nets. Mosquito nets are certainly not a scheme. Why? Because i said so! Checkmate.
10) Even if they're totally legit, backed by years of results, never forget that Mom and James Blunt still think you're beautiful.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oofSnsGkops