This is not so much embarassing as it is sad, but I once experienced the "dream come true" scenario for a poker player: I sat down at a poker table with a whale (a drug dealer) who doubled up (and in some cases tripled up) every player at the table - except me. In a $1/$2 NL game, this guy was putting $40 out (on every hand!) before the dealer even dealt the cards. All the other players at the table (regulars who played every day) would look at their hole cards and toss them, patiently waiting for a pair of Aces or Kings, and then going all-in. This guy would instantly "call" (and lose) regardless of what cards he had.

I had bought in for $400 (I was the short stack at the table) totally oblivious to what was going on, but I quickly picked up on the fact that something unusual was underway. After observing the first two double-ups, I immediately went into "praying for a pair of Aces" mode. Unfortunately, for me, the Aces never showed up. Meanwhile, over a period of around one hour, I watched guys with stacks of anywhere from $500 to $1,000 go up to $3,000. (One guy managed to hit the jackpot for over $5,000.)

While I'm fervently praying for a pair of Aces, the girlfriend of this "powder salesman" prances in and demands to be taken to the airport. He informs her "I'm playing poker" and she repeats her demand - at a much higher decibel level. He agrees to take her to the airport after he plays one more hand.

As the three of them (including his bodyguard) are leaving, I start (silently) crying. Of course, the very first hand the dealer dealt me after this whale's departure was a pair of Aces.

Former DJ

I thought I had a straight on the river when I only had 4 cards to the straight and on the river I did a massive check raise with genuinely thinking I had a straight and value betting and flopped over the cards saying straight and everyone was just starstruck, and the guy flips over trips

Live tourney a couple weeks back. I tried to steal on the button with rags, BB shipped it and I instafolded without even looking at him or his stack.

Turns out it would have cost me about 1/3 of a big blind more to make the call...

Sort of related to the one above. The very first time I played poker I thought I'd rivered a straight holding KQ on a board running J 5 A 7 2. I thought straights could also be like a loop, going all the round the deck from high to low. I went all in and was snap called by AJ. Even more embarrassingly this was on Titan poker were your hand is actually indicated in text at the bottom of the screen. I probably should of learnt all the legitimate hands before playing for money.

Cool story bro.

How on earth is that anyway embarrassing. Its more of a bad beat story than embarrassing.

I came on here to read some funny stories and I just wasted 3 minutes of my life that i could have spent touching myself

Was playing a $100 buy in tourney 6 to 7 years ago at an underground game (big buy in for my roll at the time). 3 tables. Lunch provided. First hand i lose set over set. Dealer promptly announces "Man down!"

The other tables all look at me in shock. They haven't even finished the preflop betting for their first hand yet. I'm out of my seat with a laugh and declare to the room "I'm gonna get one of these $100 dollar sandwiches!"..more laughter...then i add, "Helll no!, i'm gonna get me 2 of these $50 dollar sandwiches!" ...left the building and could still here the laughter from the parking lot.

i picked FTP instead of pokerstars

final table of a local tourney, i had just started to play

blinds are 2.5/5k

I am big blind, UTG goes all in for 10k, there is more than 25k in the table with the antes/blinds. I have 70k chips

everyone folds, i see 67s and i fold

the whole table started to go nuts and shouting that i shouldve called with any 2, the whole place stopped and came watch what was going on, i felt like a ******

i was extremely embarassed with all the commotion i caused

Results orientated

playing a 1-2 at borgata. This is from a long time ago so it's a little hazy...I'm on the button w 34o. it ends up being a middle position, me and the sb to see the flop.

A25 w 2 hearts on the board. I bet they both call. (i have no hearts)

Turn x3rd heart. It checks around to me, i check it as well.

River x4th heart. it checks around to me. i bet large thinking i can scoop it. (we're not here to debate how smart that play was, its just what I did)

After i bet large, the SB tanks stares at me for a while, eventually calls me.

Action is now to the MP player who is now also tanking. During his thought process the SB starts small talking, saying Whose got the higher heart man, whose got it?" blah blah blah
After thinking for a min or two, MP eventually call the bet as well.

I quickly muck my cards not wanting to show how badly i played my straight against the 4heart board.

SB shows 2 pair no hearts, MP shows a set, no hearts.

I folded the winning hand on about a $300 pot. And all I could do was sit there and smile because i still didn't want anyone to know that I had a straight.

Cliffs:
always hold onto your cards until someone shows you a winner.
I'm an idiot

Wow, the story seemed so believable at first, then after reading the final line I literally just started laughing out loud.

Hey "Alan" you should post about the time when you made a bet with me, lost the bet, then refused to pay because you don't like me. Then because people owned your soul so badly you left RGP forever. I like that story.

Morphy

I ordered chicken fingers. I couldn't get the damn blue cheese open. When I finally forced it open it went all over myself and the person sitting next to me. Was rather embarrassing

I was playing my first tournament and on the button I thought I had J7 of spades when in reality I had AJ. Flop was J77, I get it all in on the turn and I exclaimed "gee there's only so many 7's". My opponents looked puzzled and called. On the river I flip my AJ and they both turn over 7's. Not a good way to get knocked out the first time, and I have since trained myself to memorize my freakin cards correctly.

During a recent WPT tournament I let a silent but deadly one slip out. The guy next to me leans over and says "How disgusting! The guy in seat 5 just passed deadly gas and he just got up and walked away, its always the ones who walk away that let them rip man". Sure enough I looked up and saw seat five waddling over to the exit, fingers in his crack and all. Talk about perfect timing.

I was playing some $100 tourney in AC and my table broke, so I got up to move with my rack of chips and my (full) drink the waitress had just brought me. When I got to the new table I put the cup and my entry stub ticket into the cup holder in front of me. Of course the first time I go to take a sip, I grab the cup and the ticket, and as a result of not having a full grip on the cup, it slips out of my hand and spills all over my lap and the table.

So now I've got a wet crotch and both I and the table smell like booze. It was my first alcoholic drink of the day but of course now everyone at the table thought I was hammered. Pretty sure it took like a half hour before I quit blushing.

I laughed with a mouth full of beer and spit in someone's face.

LOOOL

Haha, not in the context of a poker tournament, but I cleared a (small) room once in the military; we had just come back from a day or two of FTX so we had been eating nothing but MREs, and it wasn't sitting well with my gut (ldo). There was a guy sleeping while we were all waiting our turn to do some kind of training and everyone blamed it on him.

Nothing major, writing my notes into chat instead of my PT notes and not being very nice about them being tilted when I was first learning online poker just as the same guy was stacking my tilted self I hit enter for the table to read and finally had to leave in shame after 15 more mins of the whole table nonstop riding me over it. Still gets brought up over 3 yrs later when the same regs see me.

There is a live one but I'll share it later...don't want my 2+2 legacy to start on that note. I'll share after I've been around a while lol

winner winner chicken dinner...

In what way? There was no flop, hence no result to focus on.

I have long since banned my roommate from being in my room while i play ipoker because he brings ungodly bad luck my way, anyway was at the FT of a Bodog tournament when an observer by the name of "SurpriseCockFag" shows up in chat railing me. He brings up how he's seen me at other big FT's and I engage in conversation. Thinking that I actually have a fan I hear my roommate giggling like a little girl only to find out that he made the account name surprise **** ***. Needless to say I ended that tournament getting sucked out on.

I once got caught dealing off the bottom of the deck at a stud game with cops and got the **** kicked out of me in Binghamton. They took everything.

This is the most amazing thing ive ever read

lol lmfao