I gotta go with Gabe Kaplan's famous "2 and a half men" line when referring to David Benyamine and Tom Dwan.

loled.

totibani: TY
totibani: TY
totibani: TY
HERO: yw
totibani: HAVE A F GD NIHT MOTHER F
HERO: u2
Dealer: A new game will start in 15 seconds
HERO: have fun losing the money
HERO: oh, youre staying?
totibani: LOL
totibani: OK
totibani: WILLMAKEA DEAL
totibani: LETS PLAY FOR POKERPOINTS
totibani: ORE
totibani: LETHS MAKE A TEAM
totibani: YOU WANT
totibani: SERIOS
totibani: ?
HERO: a team?
totibani: YES
totibani: YOU AND ME
totibani: GO ON THE TEABLES
totibani: AND TAKE MANEY
totibani: THE F DO
totibani: ALL THE TIME
totibani: MAN
totibani: AND I CANT WIN ALL THE TIME
HERO: you mean we talk about our hands while we play?
totibani: YES
totibani: BUT ON TEABLE
totibani: WITH 6 PLAYERS
totibani: ON MASSENGER
totibani: ?
totibani: YES ORE NOT
totibani: YHEY DOALL THE F TIME

Well this was funny at the time...

I was playing 2/5 at foxwoods just dicking around as were most poeple at the table. There was this one kid though who had a FTP hat on, like beach volley wrap around sunglasses, a really loud striped shirt, and a a green celtics sweatband on one wrist... and he was taking the game very seriously, trying to read souls.

He raised in EP and got the normal 4 or 5 callers and announces "I check in the dark" like he was preemptively owning us all. Being the hilarious guy that I am I say "looks like you dress in the dark too." Everyone laughed and he gave me a death-stare.

LoL XD

golden!

that jew joke and the dress in the dark line are pretty solid, i laughed.

Some random donk calls my repop allin and flipped over 96o. I had AA and he obv sucked me out.

How the fcuk can you call preflop with that random shyte?

Welll, hmmff its 50/50. You win some and you lose some.

FU

Heard this the other day whilst playing at my home game;

Q. Why can't Stevie Wonder see his mates?

A. He's married

(in a tournament)
Hero - Raise

Villan - Re Raise all in

Hero , after a pause " ive got a pair..... but im racing against any cards... i fold"

Random person - .... "..... have you got pocket 2's?"

(now another incident)

Player x - Bet

Player Y - Re raise (on a ace high flop)

Player x pauses then folds, player Y shows an ace

Player x throws over ace 2

Player y replies.... " I had you beat"

2 of my favorites ive heard at the table over the years:

when somebody is running hot, ask them, "how does it taste?"

they'll usually get confused and look at you "huh? how does what taste?"

you: "satan's ****"

another time, one guy was humming along with a janet jackson song, when others at the table gave him a look like wtf you *** to which he announced "I'm gay and im proud, aren't you?" looking at one of the other players

Other player "I'm not proud"

Umm i have a few....

sitting in my local 100nl game.. (Me to guy next to me)..."So you play online?"...Guy replies "yeah i play on facebook" haha i lol'ed

I know im losing but i call? that one baffles me everytime!

my friend dan everytime he gets re-raised in a cash game by a tight player "you cant just sit and wait for f**kin aces and kings all night" hes a bit of a poker brat!

what is it with women posting whay they SAID at a poker table and not what they heard? I think they think what they said is funny when it ususally isnt

Also "I'm folding the best hand"

"I know I am folding the best hand" tilts me any day of the week when I hear it.

Also.. "I wnna gamble and will call with bottom pair draw", screws me over everytime they river the best hand

Usually they will just try to get a free peak at your cards... I say sometimes in order to induce my opponent into flashing what he had...

Hi all,

I would like to do a list of the most distracting/fun/crazy internet pages, blogs, vlogs, twitter accounts, Instagram accounts, etc... about poker. The purpose: pure entertainment! It can even be a particularly fun 2+2 thread.

For example, Gus Hansen's instagram account was pretty amazing in 2018.

Another example: There are some threads on 2+2 about the best degen stories that I find pretty epic.

Last examples: Some of the Neeme and Owen vlogs are pretty good. Let's crazy but can still provide good entertainment.

Please send me your ideas and I will make a list out of it, then post it here.

Cheers

This was my favorite:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QRwxijN_Upg

WTF I made this ages ago. I had no idea someone put it on YouTube

It was originally posted to YTMND

Clearly the old Tuff_Fish stuff

Love the YouTube Series "The Micros" ton of great stuff

WSOP vid circa late 2000's, made by a 2+2er, set to three six mafia music.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kKR1rrjvq-I

This, and unlike The Micros it is still as amusing today.