ever since he was a young boy
he played the 5 card draw
from jersey down to vegas
he used to beat them all
but now nobody sees him
in any casino halls
that crazy degen LAG kid
somehow managed to lose it all!
he raises like a madman
becomes table captain quick
squeezing 40 percent
bets every river brick
double floating nits
the TAGs run and crawl
that crazy degen LAG kid
somehow managed to lose it all!
hes a no limit wizard
there has to be a twist
a no limit wizard,
got such a loose raising wrist
how do you think he does it? (i dont know!)
what makes him so good?
aint got no respect for money
cant ever lay down a hand
dont care how tight you are
wins every pot he can
just sighs and rolls his eyes
hates to just check/call
that crazy degen LAG kid
somehow managed to lose it all!
i thought i was the local hold em king
but i just handed my circuit ring to him
even in those easy spots
he puts you to the test
his brain wont let him fold
his raising arm does the rest
but now hes in big debt
triads got him by the balls
that crazy degen LAG kid
somehow managed to lose it all
Oh tom Oh Tom
Triads demand payment
For the meantime
Tom's locked in their basement
They release pics on the web
To say "Tom is alive , see?"
The only one who can save him
might be Phil iVey
Oh Tom Oh Tom
Send a message back to me
Or else you'll be a slave
in their iPhone Factory !
My reliable source has informed me that Dwan settled the debt by playing the pickled-piccolo to make good. Source said that the backer is very pleased.
There once was a gambler called Durrrr
enslaved by the triads for surrrre
in a no-limit sweatshop
as credit-Durrrr-fold swap
chipdumping money transfurrrrer