Welcome to NVG, where "missing" means "three threads about you on the front page".

you're not allowed to pass judgment here unless you post it in the form of a rap lyric or jingle

dim tim dawn
hunt these bum
fly to macau
eat dim sum

+1, also good work

Durr can't eat dim sim
it's against the Triad's wishes
He owe Triad money
so they make him wash dishes

Tom Tom Dwan
Had top top
Lost the pot
Triads want to chop him up

Locked in the basement
Somewhere in Macau
Won't leave the room till the triads allow
Tom Tom Dwan
The Degen Son

ever since he was a young boy
he played the 5 card draw
from jersey down to vegas
he used to beat them all
but now nobody sees him
in any casino halls

that crazy degen LAG kid
somehow managed to lose it all!

he raises like a madman
becomes table captain quick
squeezing 40 percent
bets every river brick
double floating nits
the TAGs run and crawl

that crazy degen LAG kid
somehow managed to lose it all!

hes a no limit wizard
there has to be a twist
a no limit wizard,
got such a loose raising wrist

how do you think he does it? (i dont know!)
what makes him so good?

aint got no respect for money
cant ever lay down a hand
dont care how tight you are
wins every pot he can
just sighs and rolls his eyes
hates to just check/call

that crazy degen LAG kid
somehow managed to lose it all!

i thought i was the local hold em king
but i just handed my circuit ring to him

even in those easy spots
he puts you to the test
his brain wont let him fold
his raising arm does the rest
but now hes in big debt
triads got him by the balls

that crazy degen LAG kid
somehow managed to lose it all

Oh tom Oh Tom
Triads demand payment
For the meantime
Tom's locked in their basement
They release pics on the web
To say "Tom is alive , see?"
The only one who can save him
might be Phil iVey

Oh Tom Oh Tom
Send a message back to me
Or else you'll be a slave
in their iPhone Factory !

My reliable source has informed me that Dwan settled the debt by playing the pickled-piccolo to make good. Source said that the backer is very pleased.

maybe he still havent got a decent sleeping night yet

Oh tell me have you seen
our timmy dean
The triads have their hands
on our timmy dean

He's playing in a dungeon
living off of funyuns

please tell me have you seen
our little timmy dean

Hellmuth: "You'll be bust in 5 years" back in 2008

Wasn't far off

Tim Dwan Durrrr
Him Gone Where?

His new name is Timmy Dean
Kinda like Jimmy Dean Sausage
The Triads have him held
In their basement as a hostage

Oh Tom oh Tom
Try to think of a plan
To escape from China
as fast as you can

The triads want their $
It's something we do know
I hope Tom doesn't get sick
Eating all those Ramen noodles

Chinese mafia threatening to cut his bawlz off

loving the tim dawn poetry collection ::

Haiku!

Oh my Timmy Dean
America loves you still
Escape from China

You play the Four Three
Skilled champion reads you had
Baccarat mule now

New Jersey native
Now trapped in the far east land
Enjoy crab rangoon

Who has teh cupz?
Timmy dean has teh pee cupz
(Repeat 2x)

He's motha fkn timmy dean dude
punishing asians like swine flu

hiding in basements
No Vitamin D, his main ailment

skin pasty, eyes blurry, with initial signs of scurvy
Go ahead, check raise the turn..he ain't worried

He lives on peanuts and seltzer
Dreams of playing Alan Meltzer

Constantly under suspicion
After Helmuth's words came to fruition (add delay effect to 'fruition')

And das wassup up...

Who has teh cupz?
Timmy Dean has teh pee cupz

(Repeat 2x, fade to black in triad rape dungeon/basement)
*Drops the mic

oh our Timmy Dean
Where have you been?
Somewhere in China
Facing an ALL IN

Many seasons he's been there
Winter , Summer, Fall
Every time they Raise the River
You hear Tom say: "CALL"

Million Dollar pots
It's out of Control
Timmy opens pocket Aces
But the Triads Slow Roll

Timmy plays Crazy
Triads know the hype
Triad Shows a set
Now they Own Timmy's life

Dang right

So hard. G rap is back

Dudes playing int he biggest games in the world flying all over the globe. Far from bust mate.

There once was a gambler called Durrrr
enslaved by the triads for surrrre
in a no-limit sweatshop
as credit-Durrrr-fold swap
chipdumping money transfurrrrer

We know that Dwan's alive
It is very likely
That he's in a sweat-shop
making fake Nikes

Triads run down the basement
They stare at Dwan and linger
" You play high stakes tomorrow!"
"If you lose we chop off your finger!"

Oi Oi Saveloy
Bring our Timmy home