Piss poor imo

Anyone ever had a dealer at a casino that couldn't speak english or determine the winning hand?

How about heard in a poker room restroom? Got up to shake hands w/the governor at Commerce early one Saturday morning. When I walked in there was a bathroom attendant cleaning up and noone else (or so I thought). As I was getting ready to wash my hands, the sound of balls slapping back and forth became VERY audible. The bathroom attendant looked at me, shook his head and shouted to the guy in the stall obviously whacking off - "you better clean up that s***!!!!". I got the hell out of there and prayed to God that I was walking back to a full table (e.g. that that degenerate wasnt sitting there at my table, who knows if he washes his hands).

Could that be because of your unfortunatley under-sized, and horribly mis-shapen knob?

Playing in a local game, a chick who was a friend of young dude's girlfriend's sister was being harassed by dude. He's tilting her hard and suddenly she starts yelling "I'm a stripper, all right? Yeah, I'm a stripper! See? Right here!" and opens her shirt and flashes her boobs. Don't know how the stripper thing came up, but it was fun for the rest of the table.

Oh yeah, chart of the relationship between stripper and dude:

|Dude| - |Dude's girlfriend| - |Dude's girlfriend's sister| - |Stripper chick|

If I was security I would have run a little bit slower than the other security guards...maybe even tripped "accidently" about 50 feet from the table...

I didn't see the below, although I would have liked to. Originally posted by mickeycrimm:

WOW. Just WOW. Where was this exactly?

I was playing at the Tropicana in AC about a year ago and there was a guy that was playing who happened to be blackout drunk. The whole night he was screaming and cussing and at one point even called an Italian reg. there "Luigi"...this is not his name!

Anyways, as the night progressed he threw a beer cup across the room in a fit of rage, and go up yelling "You can take my money, but at least I'm still HOT!"

The man, I'd say 27ish, took his shirt off and flexed in front of everyone while yelling "WOOOAAAA" like Rick Flair. He then called the waitress a bitch for not getting him drinks fast enough and said "**** this place I'm taking this chair..."

The man walked out with his chair over his shoulder and I haven't seen him since...

True story (AC is a crazy place)

easily the best loooooooooool

lol luigi

Well I'm gonna to go then. And I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff, and I don't need you. I don't need anything except this.

And that's it and that's the only thing I need, is this. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray. And this paddle game, the ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need. And this remote control. The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need. And these matches. The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control and the paddle ball. And this lamp. The ashtray, this paddle game and the remote control and the lamp and that's all I need. And that's all I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one - I need this. The paddle game, and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches, for sure. And this. And that's all I need. The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, this magazine and the chair.

And I don't need one other thing, except my dog.

I don't need my dog.

I hope that Rascal isn't the brand name of the scooter and was the adjective you used to describe it because if so hilarious!

one was a girl berating her boyfriend at 4 am in the taj over taking money out of her purse to play 1-2. she slaps him and takes the money off the table and storms out. he puts his head down and slinks away.

other was also early morning around 6:00 AM at ceasars. i like to start late once everyone is drunk and go monster long sessions. anyway this guy comes in carrying what looks like a pool stick carrying case and sits it on the table. he looks strung out on meth and keeps checkraising all in every other hand and in no time donks his stack up to about 800. he keeps accusing the dealer of not speaking english even though he could be an opie stand in. i start to get nervous because he keeps getting wilder and wilder and is two fisting drinks. i ask him whats in the case and he tells me to mind my own business. he starts getting agrressive and people seem paranoid and call the floor over to look in his case. he refuses to open it and runs out of the casino leaving his entire stack never to return. weid stuff.

Alan Jaffray

Once played 2-4 limit at Foxwoods in 2001 vs. a woman who bet every time it was her turn. Didn't care what was going on, would just bet. 3-bet, 4-bet, 5-bet, who cared.

Note, this woman was about 85, and had 2 oxygen tanks in her wheelchair.

Well, lo and behold, I have KK on some board like KJ762, and she repeatedly keeps raising me. Heads up, there's no cap. I felt obligated to re-raise her repeatedly until she shipped me her entire stack. I think she had A6 or something.

The dealer then goes "YOU'RE STEALING THAT WOMAN'S OXYGEN!!!"

I sheepishly stacked chips...

Damn. You were a SpellCheck away from being "fall to the carpet and roll around for awhile" funny.

So I'm grinding it out at Casino Barcelona this summer. Your typical live 2/5 nit game grind. It's thursday night so we're in a good mood, sippin mojitos and dressing classy for the party later on.

All of a sudden I notice Mary-Kate Olsen (or Ashley, doesn't really matter at that point) comes up and starts railing my table, accompanied by some unshaved guy in an old Tshirt and a Knicks cap, who looks like he hasn’t showered in days. Mary-Kate looks smokin hot though.

"Play poker?", I ask. She smiles and replies "Ohh I'm really bad, but I'm gonna give it a try. He's good though!", pointing at the guy. Ugh. Boyfriendaments.

They get their chips and the floor assigns her a seat at our table. The boyfriend is seated elsewhere. We chat a bit and I explain her limp/calling every hand is not really the way to do the pokers. She doesn’t really get it, cause she just won a big pot with J6s vs some guy’s KK. I order a next round of mojitos. She likes and returns the favour. At this point I learn her name is Mary-Kate. Good guess. She seems to be really down to earth, maybe cause I haven’t mentioned the celeb thing yet. Good vibes lol.

Meanwhile her boyfriend is losing big time, and also noticing his girl is having a good time with some Euro. So as soon as a spot is open at the table he sits in. That kinda ****s up the mood and the good vibes sort of disappear.

Then a hand comes up where I tangle with him. He calls my raise preflop and checkraises all in into my JJ on a J85dd flop. Jokingly, I tell him “I’ll raise you a night out with your girlfriend!” She’s giggling and he’s losing it at this point. “What’s in it for me?”, he replies. I cover him by 350-400 and it’s a quick deal. Notice him shoutin BOOYA when he tables J8o. Now I always like a good slowroll, so I pull a sadface, and mumble something like “Well I got outs..” Turn comes K, river 4, no diamonds. Should’ve seen his face when I opened up my JJ. ****in priceless. He starts swearing all over the place, insulting me, etc. etc. When he’s done ranting he tells her “Get up. We’re going. Right now.”

Brag: everything I wrote up to now

Beat: she got up and left and I obv never got ‘payed’

Had a few dealer's at Canterbury tell and confirm this story about Marcel Luske.

Luske was supposed to do some promotional work for the WPT at Canterbury but was over an hour late. He does end up showing, but is piss drunk, slurring his words and barely able to stand.

Apparently, part of the promotional work was do give a speech to some CP management, bigwigs, etc. They decide he's obviously in no shape to do this and tell him it would be best if he left. Luske's people ask when he's going to get paid at which point they're informed because he couldn't fulfil his contractual obligation (i.e- to speak), they either won't be paying him or won't be paying him as much.

Luske goes ape**** and starts ranting, etc. His people are trying to step in and smooth things over when Luske dissapears. A few minutes later, security gets a call that a guy is in the bathroom, tearing the place up and pissing on the floor. Yup, it's Luske.

As he's being dragged out, he is heard yelling something to the effect of how he's too good to even piss on a place like Canterbury. He is promptly removed from CP and possibly 86'ed.

A few months later Michael Jordan (yes, Chicago Bulls one) is hosting a celebrity bounty tournament at CP. They are going over who he wants to be a celebrity bounty and one of the people on the list is Luske.

CP management says no chance in hell will they let him back. Jordan pulls a power play and says if Luske can't come back, he'll consider pulling the whole tournament. Whether or not he'd actually do it, who knows.

Luske comes back to CP and this time thankfully is sober. Many of the same guys he met with to do promotional stuff for the tournament were the same guys who he was swearing at and who kicked him out. Awkward...

That's a horrible ruling...Before a bet is made saying I'm gonna call is not binding..What if he said "if you bet I'm gonna fold"..he's certainly not obligated to fold

Nah, its a correct ruling. Calling action out of turn is a total angle esp if it is unclear whether or not it is binding. Mandalay Bay def enforced this ruling and I saw a guy get kicked out as a result. Think it's pretty standard too.

Both of these posts deserve a ton of love.

Deucebag

Reno Hilton/World Poker Challenge: Drunken Dave, a Reno local asshat, shows up pulling his **** again. He sits in the 2/5 nlh, pulls out his bricks, about $30,000, like he always does showing off to everybody, then plops them down on the table. All the other stacks on the table around around 500 to 1500.

Drunken Dave is always pullin' **** like when he wants to put you in he has to pull his arms back then sweep them forward and announce in a big boomin' voice "I'M ALL INNNNNNNN!!!!!" , when all he had to do was put enough out to cover you. He's always berating the players and dealers too.

Al, a local pro has about 1000 in red in front of him. He gets up and heads to his safe deposit box. He gets out $20,000 then goes to the cage and gets 4 cranberries ($5000 chips). He comes back to the table and sits the cranberries on top of his stack.

After awhile Drunken Dave and Al get into it. Dave's got the third nut flush and Al has the nut flush. Dave looks at Al, then at Al's stack, then pulls his arms back and here it comes:

"I'M ALL INNNNNNN!!!! says Dave, sweeping his hands forward. CALLLLLL!!!!!!!! says Al.
"I guess you got me" says Dave. "How much you got there?"
"$20,560" says Al.
"WTF!!!!!" says Dave

Dave is all sober now. He eyes zero in on Al's stack. He see's those 4 cranberries and screams "FLOOR!!!!, FLOOR!!!!!, FLOOR!!!!!

The floorman gets there and Dave screams "He hid those cranberries on me."
"No I didn't" says Al
The floor looks around at everybody at the table including the dealer. "Did he have those cranberries hidden" He asked. Everyone at the table agreed the cranberries were in plain sight.

"Pay him, Dave!!! says the floor.
"(^%&$#&*())^^$&$%())_ " says Dave as he pays Al off.

glad you quoted that, i read that a while ago and laughed for 10 mins


Originally Posted by CAPPOTccino View Post
I was playing at the Tropicana in AC about a year ago and there was a guy that was playing who happened to be blackout drunk. The whole night he was screaming and cussing and at one point even called an Italian reg. there "Luigi"...this is not his name!

Anyways, as the night progressed he threw a beer cup across the room in a fit of rage, and go up yelling "You can take my money, but at least I'm still HOT!"

The man, I'd say 27ish, took his shirt off and flexed in front of everyone while yelling "WOOOAAAA" like Rick Flair. He then called the waitress a bitch for not getting him drinks fast enough and said "**** this place I'm taking this chair..."

The man walked out with his chair over his shoulder and I haven't seen him since...

True story (AC is a crazy place)


omg $25 to anyone who can get this sercurity cam recording

the company is in fact rascal

Results oriented imo