Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruudolf
Horribly play by dwan, no matter how u look at it
**** it, I'm going all in.
Is that a continuation bet? I think he’s got the nuts. You know what? **** it. I’m going all in.
Yeah, I could call it down or fold, cut my losses. But **** that. Folding is for ******s. I’m ****ing Tom Durrrr Dwan. I can get that bluff to work. And, even if I can’t, I bet I’ll be able to suck out or get him next time. I like going all in. It makes my dick hard.
What’s that? I should minraise? **** that. That’s gay. Check it down? Gay. Fold? Gay. Slowplay? Kevin Spacey gay. This is ****ing Texas Hold'em. You can’t just expect pots to come to you. You can’t massage that ****. You gotta grab your opponent by the throat and rape the ever-loving **** out of him. You think a minbet is gonna win you a pot? You’re a pussy. This ain’t Ike Haxton running this table. Dwan's got the moves. Creativity. Artistry. You gotta unleash the overbet.
Okay, I’m shoving. Nice. Look how those chips all went into the middle. I look good. I bet I made that cocktail waitress wet her panties with that throw. She ****ing wants me. I bet she'd like it over the table in Bobby's Room. I can hit that with 100% equity, my dear. Mmmmmm. I am delicious.
Oh ****. Looks like he called. Again. Oh well. It still felt ****ing great to go all in. Tell me that wasn’t one of the prettiest bluffs you ever saw. You know what? Not only am I gonna shove the very next hand, I’m gonna put even more money in. Faster. You see Hellmuth sitting to my left? I’m gonna nail him right between the ****ing eyes with a good 'ol Tommy Dwane preflop shove. Why? Because I can.
This is Durrrr we’re talking about here. We’re talking 140 lbs. of steely intellect and sex appeal. I’m not just a poker player. I’m a poke-her player. Going all in tells all the Dwanstitutes that I am ****ing out there. On the edge. Where I gotta be. The ladies love the danger. The unpredictability. Oh, maybe I’ll tease them with a pot sized bet every now and again. But then I’m gonna go right back to throwing those chips in for all their worth. It tells them I ball like I ****. That’s how we do things in the sexy business.
Tell me you’re not turned on right now. I am.