Gabe Costner Is The Real Deal
I know a lot of you guys are skeptical that Gabe is one of the top live players in the world. I certainly don’t blame you, I would be too if I was you!! I will now tell you what convinced me that not only is Gabe a great poker player, he is clearly one of the best
Now, before I begin my explanation some of you are prolly wondering who I am and why my opinion matters while others know my legacy. I’ve been know as “The Best mid-stakes reg of this decade” and others know me as “The Scum Hunter.” I don’t have much of an ego, so you will never catch me saying that I am the best mid-stakes reg, but my win-rate is astronomical at 400NL, that is all I’m saying. I can even post stats/graphs for the skeptics, but my WORD is my WORD.
When Black Friday hit I was sad like most, now I was forced to play live poker. Being an awkward, anti-social nerd it was hard dealing w/ the outside world, but I managed to get by. After all, many of the online players that were forced to play live knew who I was, and they knew not to *** w/ me. This turned out great for me, it was just me and a table full of fish, well besides one guy, the only guy that did not fear me for some reason. I just figured he didn’t know who I was or he thought he could profit w/ so many fish in the game. At the time, we were playing 5/10/300, and it only took this mystery guy, aka Gabe Costner, 4hrs to clean me out of my $20k.
Now, at this time I thought like a standard internet player, must be variance, right? I mean, what kinda idiot calls 3 streets w/ bottom pair readless
? It is just not a good mathematical strategy. My ego told me he was just some random fish, so the next day I filled up my duffel bag w/ money, this time $50k, and went back to the casino to get my money back. Lucky for me that “fish” is sitting, I insta-sit down, this time at higher stakes, 10/25. Much to my surprise, after just 4hrs of play Gabe cleaned me out again
! I left the casino speechless.
It was puzzling to me how he was crushing me. There are only a handful of ppl in the world that are able to crush me wen it comes to poker, and certainly not some live donk. Lil did I know!!!! I stayed up half the night just thinking bout it, and it didn’t hit me till the next day.
I was forced to play smaller stakses since I lost a decent chunk of change to Gabe ,and unfortunately the rest of my cash was stuck on FTP and Stars. When Kobe, a professional poker player from Poland, sat down it changed my life for the better. At first, I thought he was just one of those arrogant live donks, he was claiming to be one of the best poker players in the world, which Is obv LOL. Why would he be grindin $2/$5 if he was so good at poker, right? WRONG! Kobe repeatedly called out other players hands w/ consistent accuracy. Now, he just wasn’t calling out if the guy was weak or strong or even villain’s range, he called out the players’ exact hand. It finally got to a point where I had to beg this guy for coaching, but he insisted that he did not coach. I would not give up. I beged and begged until we finally settle on $20k for one hr of coaching. I know what some of you are thinking, $20k for one hour of coaching is absurd. All I can say to that is, it was worth the money x100. Tbh, it was a steal.
Kobe really opened my eyes to live tells. He not only told me what to look for, but also how to gain more information w/ certain strategies. Now I don’t want to reveal all my secrets for obvious reasons, but one strat is to make a the pot bigger to gain more info. People give off more tells when their tournament life is on the line, but in small pots they will be more relaxed and not give off as much info. So occasionally I will limp UTG blind and watch the players closely, if one of them raises I will 3-bet to gain more info. I also learned the importance of playing hands blind vs. good tell readers. Guess what? If you don’t look at your cards you can’t give off any reliable tells. Tbh, most online players would be better off playing blind when playing vs. live sharks, you guys just don’t realize how much info you give away just by putting your chips into the pot!
When our coaching session finished, I thanked Kobe, and told him that now I have the skills to beat my nemesis, Gabe Costner. Kobe froze for a few seconds then asked me if I was really going to play w/ Gabe “The Honey badger” Costner? Some of you are prolly wondering how he earned the nickname the Honey badger, so I will tell you. Well first, if you don’t know much about Honey badgers I recommend googling it and watching some videos, and then you will see the similarities between Gabe and a Honey badger. Basically what you need to know is, looks can be deceiving. Gabe may look like a bytch that has no chance in a fight vs. the avg man, but this is completely false. If you insult Gabe at the poker tbls prepare to lose all of your teeth. If you don’t believe me come down to Biloxi and find out for yourself. Also, by looking at Gabe you would prolly assume he is some dumb hick from the south, but again you would be wrong, he can actually talk math theory w/ the best of them!!
Kobe warned me this guy would be very hard to beat, but I didn’t care, I was determined to beat this guy or go broke trying. The only problem was I was currently broke, I spent the last of my money on coaching. Now, being broke, I had only a couple options: 1. Wait for FTP to pay me back my money….
or 2. Enter the work force(sigh). I know what you guys are thinking, why not just get staked, after all you are one of the top online poker players, right? Yea, ppl would line up to stake me, but I would never accept a stake, unlike most of you online nerds. Why? Because I am not a MUNCHER!! You can call me all the bad names you want, arrogant Genius, big dick *******, etc, but you can never call me a MUNCHER!! I see these pathetic munchers at the casino all the time, they are usually fat ****s, munching at every opportunity they get. It’s easy to spot a muncher. He will usually be obese, he will wear a stained t-shirt, and he will usually have a snack on hand. And of course, he will know if you have a snack on you. These fat pathetic ****s will approach me all the time and ask me to stake them in an Omaha game. Of course, they have never played Omaha in their life, but they hear it’s a soft field….
LMAO! Yea, it’s a soft field because fat asses like you, ppl who don’t know the rules, are playin in it
!! Srry for that rant, but munchers just really piss me off.
Anyway, I worked my ass off shipping boxes for UPS until I had a $5k BR. Once I saved up enough, I ran back to the casino(that’s what I do, exercise, unlike you fat fks) and sat down w/ Gabe again at 25/50. I only had one bullet to my name, so it was do or die. We battled head up for 8 straight hrs, and by night’s end I was a $10k winner. I was ecstatic, I finally beat the man that was said to be unbeatable. When Costner quit, he racked up his chips, put on his jean jacket, pulled out a pack of cigarettes from the top right pocket of his jean jacket, pulled out a cigarette and put it in his mouth, but did not light it. Then he took 2 steps away from the table and he paused, he then turned around and said to me ”You know kid, you got enough horse sense to make it far in this game.” He took another 3-steps, then turned around again and walked back to the table this time and pointed to two chicks standing about 40ft away and says “You see that chick over there.” I nod. “I’m gonna **** her in the ass, and that other chick, I’m gonna suck her nipples till dey bleed, but when I finish I’m gonna buy you a beer.” “ You hold tight, I’ll be back in a Lickety split.”
Gabe is a man of his WORD, he bought me that beer. And from there a friendship was born. In the future, when ppl ask me when did I realize I was going to be one of the best live players of all time I will refer to the words that Gave said to me. After all, it was on that day that I not only formed an unbreakable bond w/ one of the greatest live players of my time, but it was also on that day that I defeated this great man.
Is Gabe Costner the best poker player ever? I don’t know. Is he in the top 10? Of course he is in the top 10. Should we listen to Gabe when he talks about poker? Darn tootin'
Last edited by SGT RJ; 08-26-2011 at 10:25 AM.