Quote:
Originally Posted by rallydurham
My mind can't help but wander when huge events like this occur so I apologize if this comes off as myopic, self absorbed, or having a lack of empathy for the victims. We all heal in different manners and try to understand and make sense of things. I
As some one who has been diagnosed with DSM and is narssisitic to the nth degree I completely understand his desire to become famous and go out in grandiose fashion. As someone who has combined virtually every type of illicit substance at once I get how they can skew your reality and lead you over the edge.
The one thing I will never understand is the desire to inflict carnage on random people you've never met. When i was at my deepest suffering. Suicidal, depressed beyond belief, plotting harming others with intimate detailed plans.... at no point was a total random person my goal... when i drank all the pent up aggression would come out. I was a ticking time bomb . So many nights i went out craving for someone to wrong me. It led to numerousfights, car incidents, arrests, etc. I can remember just wanting to hit someone in the face so many times simply so they could feel the pain that I felt. My mom used to tell me when I was a young child and was sick that she wished she could share the pain so I would suffer less. Maybe her words stuck with me. I thought i could lessen my pain by transferring it to others. And for a fleeting moment in a fight that strike of the fist flush against face would do it. Running guys off the road because he pissed me off made me feel better...
I only say all this because I really hope our country takes a look at the mental health crisis and drug epidemic we are facing. The drugs we've pumped into people's bodies who continue to drink, gamble, not sleep, etc fuel this behavior... it can turn an otherwise ordinary, wonderful individual into an insane person for a brief moment.
I truly don't believe this person was evil. I believe he was sick. Extremely sick. I feel so awful for everyone involved in this senseless tragedy. The victims and their families of course. That goes without saying. But I also worry about the single mother cleaning rooms at Mandalay, or washing sheets, or dealing pai gow. The retirees from MGM properties whose stock took a hit. The street performers, dancers, and cabbies who will no doubt suffer from the decrease in visitors.
Las Vegas was such a special place for me in my 20s. I even feel bad for the 21st bday partiers who won't get to enjoy such a special place with such naivete.
The irony to me was that I have stayed at the luxor more times than I can count because I thought i was "safer" being able to bounce between three poker rooms without walking outside at night and 4 since across to the MGM is virtually a mug free zone.
It's easy to be upset at the person who fired the weapons. Me... I will pray for him. What a tormented soul to do such a thing. And I pray even more for the ones out there struggling with any type of mental health issues. I'm not a religious person, so when I say "pray" I equate it with "think about them and hope the best for them".
Now that I've gone through drug rehabilitation, mental evaluation, and have a clear sense of direction
I try my hardest every day in every interaction with other people to make a positive impact. Because i know when I was self medicating what i was capable of. And There are millions of us out there struggling with this disease. And most of us are on drugs. Prescribed or otherwise.
Law Enforcement definitely need better training in Mental Health, no doubt. Until the day comes when technology can read the mind/pain one suffers on another, these "senseless" acts of tragedy will continue. We have to deal with it with each case that unfolds before our eyes, sadly.
If people would ask for help, instead of taking out their rage on innocent people, we would have a better chance at dealing with the real problem of mental health, IMO.