Take Jonny Chan's orange, peel and eat it.

best yet

Ask Phil Hellmuth if he wants to play chinese poker tonight with you and the boys....then later mension phil iveys gonna be there....

I've seen this happen. Around 2004, when the Great Poker Boom blossomed and every wannabe in town ran out and bought one of the standard poker canon (or even lesser books like Hellmuth's or Ken Warren's) and/or developed their game online. It was a subconscious thing, but it wasn't unusual to see someone, at the local watering hole where I would occasionally play, either moving their lips through the calculations, or obliviously using their fingers to enumerate their outs. It didn't exactly tilt us, but we almost had a collective stroke trying to stifle the laughter.

One kid, in particular, was pretty bad, and finally someone tipped him off. He developed the habit of putting his hands under table as the board came out. Worked okay, until about halfway through his first "hands free" session, when we realized he was closing his eyes and nodding his head each time he counted off an out.

Turned into a pretty decent player, actually. Doesn't move a lot, though.

ask the dealer if card counting is legal in this tournament

say "one time" everytime you're in a hand....o wait people already do that

rofl

the best

Okay, that's funny. Still think it's not a big deal.

awesome ... obvious, yes, but still: awesome

[ ] knows what he is talking about

Fri, 04 Jul 2008 12:12:07

No I.D. for Forrest

Ted Forrest sat down at his table a little while ago and was asked for a photo I.D. from the dealer. He pulled out his Total Rewards cards and gave it to the dealer. The dealer looked at it, but then still requested a photo I.D. of Forrest. Forrest checked his pockets, but didn't have any identification with a photo on it. He tried giving the dealer another card, but it still didn't work. After a few moments, the floor was called over and when the floor person looked at the Total Rewards card they chuckled and said "Don't worry, he's okay."

dealers are way ahead of us

Any time Allen Kessler wins a hand say "Nice hand Mr. Varkonyi"

Tell Stu Unger that the WSOP is gonna start drug testing.

I pretty much do, there, Heinrich. Perhaps Germany was ahead of the curb on us here, but 2004 was when ESPN's 2003 WSOP coverage began to take root amd poker became a more mainstream activity. There was some build up before, but this was what blew it up. Check the poker room (B and M as well as online) statistics if you you remain clueless.

Now run along, Fritz; I'm sure you have master race delusions to attend to.

Almost certainly a reference to internet legend Bill Filmaff. Definitely worth a Google if you haven't seen it.

IMO

This thread is beginning to rival the "If they never played poker..." thread

Awesome. You must have studied to come up with that reply. I fully agree with the "fail" post. Your list was worst, and it wasn't close.

MOOOOOO!

Ask Phil Hellmuth which degree his black belt is, pointing at his belt. If it's not black then start laughing and tell him that you have a higher value belt and that he has to address you with sensei from now on. If he doesn't wear a belt then ask him if he used his skills for something other than just protecting his hand and was thus stripped from his belt and disgracefully kicked out of the dojo.

While Johnny Chan isn't looking replace his orange with some other random fruit (banana, apple, watermelon, blueberry...). Do this repeatedly and use a different sort of fruit every time. After an hour start replacing it with different sorts of vegetables. Finally replace it with a pizza and ask Johnny if you can have a slice.

When with Jerry Yang at the table start passionately babbling in made up Arabic and throw the words Allah and Djihad in there as often as you can. After you win a let out a very deep "Buhahahaha!"

LOL, I'd love to see this

Ummmm, I don't know quite how to tell you this but...

Pretend to have a heart attack and ask for doctor esfandiari

Tell Dario Minieri you usually dont hit on short haired girls, but you couldnt resist her slender figure.