playing £5/£10 NLH. 3 players all in pre flop. my friend has KK V AA V A8 the KK and A8 had £2K more than the player with AA. The Aces hold and the KK holds against the A8. My friend takes his side pot which was about £4k at this point the chinese guy grabs my friends hands and takes all the pot the and adds it to his stack the dealer than takes it back. The chinese guy stands up and starts shouting “ACES ACES” across the casino. About 10 minutes later this guy flopped a flush against my friends set, the river then pairs the board and gives him a full house, this Chinese man in disgust throws his chips at my friend and shouts at his friend to give him more money.

online
i get 46 clubs flop comes 577 2 clubs both check the turn is a 5 diamonds both check the river is the 3 of clubs. I bet this guy times down and calls me... he shows 63, he thought his 3 pair would be good! (he had 6 high btw)

I was at the planethollywood playing 1/2 NL and within the first two hours of sitting down the guy to the right of me had lost 600 dollars. He was down to $26 and when the waitress came by he ordered and drink and said "Take your tip now, cuz im gonna lose it before you get back". He lost his last $25 and waited on the rail for his corona. I dunno, that was funny to me atleast.

Live at The Bike, $40 NL:

Seat 6 brings a stack of chips forward and makes a couple stacks of five $1 chips but the third stack is only four chips. He reaches back and adds a chip to make it an even $15. Seat 4 comments that it is a "String Bet" and Seat 6 removes the chip without a complaint. Seat 4 states that he may need to save that $1 if he wants to call the raise. He did call the raise but on the turn, he folded his hand to a continuation bet by Seat 6. Seat 4 tells the table, "See! I saved myself a dollar!"

That's really the set-up for this next situation. A few hands later, Seat 4 makes a raise to $10. Seat 5 states 'call' but starts bringing out out her chips two at a time. 2, 2, 2...

I blurt out, "Hey! That's a STRING CALL". The whole table laughs even the dealer. Seat 5 however didn't get it and started yelling at me. Thankfully, Seat 6 calmed her down and said that I was only joking because there is no such thing a string call.

Idiotic

Live:
The Main Event someone how has 2 million extra chips added and a Moran site still wins.
Online: To many to list, some of the top few: Absolute Poker being caught red handed in multiple lies, 2+2 posters pwning Ultimate Bet and Absolute Poker, a press release announcing "Absolute Poker Security Summit", JohnnyBax and Rizen signing with and defending Ultimate Bet, and much funnier was the latest press release UB sent which announced 'unfair advantage' had occurred, failed to mention the same company owns Absolute Poker and tried to pass off the only known super user accounts cheating scandals in history as being totally separate from one another, oh wait the fact that UB, KGC and GA all missed a bunch of other cheating counts is funny too... but hands down the funniest I've ever seen online is People still play at Ultimate Bet.

That's no-limit, baby!

Online my buddy was getting short deep in a MTT and it's folded around to him in the small blind and he shoves in with 67s, (his M was only 3 or 4 maybe). BB snap calls him with JJ, flops a set but loses to a runner runner straight. Right after the hand my buddy write "Bad call with Jacks" and the BB goes ballistic. I don't know maybe I just like seeing the needle stuck in a little bit.

Live a long time ago I saw a guy call off a bet on the river with the board showing 45678 with 67 saying "I call I got two pair, plus the straight" Love when they open their mouths and clearly identify themselves lol.

OK funniest thing/ line ive heard live was about 3 months ago local casino in Indiana.

1/2 nl Guy to my right bets $12, Im all in for $28 2 guys behind call

flop Q J 9 Guy to my right bets out 100 guy behind INSTA SLAMS IN 142 "ALL IN" with overwhelming confindence. guy to my right says "damn guess im beat but have to call the 42 now"

Turn 10 river 6 Guy to right turns over Q2 Guy behind turns over J6 off for 2 pair, we look a little confused ..... First guy says "wtf" guy says "man I knew it I looked down preflop saw J6 and knew I was going to be all in this hand" he was dead serious then " J6 off is my favorite hand"

lol wtf is wrong with some people

Live: some old woman saying, "I'll play my jack-fives, but that's as low as I'll go. I won't play jack-four."

Online: I was donking around at play chips on FTP and some guy on there is going "BEWARE, THE APOCOLAYPSE IS COMING"!! and starts going on about how everyone is damned, the world is ending, etc. etc. He also warns everyone not to play poker for real money online because it's rigged. I start chatting with him, playing along, and he offers to send me more stuff by email. I'm down for a laugh so I give him my email address. Like an hour later he sends me this huge email filled with information and links to websites for some crazy Jehovah's Witness sect or something.

I remember that guy, I always ran into him while playing for play money on Fool Tilt. Total nutjob.

Some guy that was accusing me of cheating a while back in .1/.2 games on Cake

Coach CK: has anyone ever seen ****** lose a showdown?
Coach CK: I just emailed Cake Poker Network
Coach CK: I think he is using cheat software
ThinEdge: that explains his huge stack
Coach CK: check his stack on the other tables
Coach CK: 42.10
Coach CK: 67.92
******: 70.90
Coach CK: I see atleast 5 table he is on and hes ahead on
them all
Coach CK: pokerspying dot com
Coach CK: is something I think he has

Coach CK: has anyone else noticed how ****** NEVER loses
a hand?
Coach CK: I think he uses cheat software
Coach CK: join me in alerting Cake Network
Coach CK: someone else the other night was talking about him
Coach CK: the more of us that contact Cake, the more they will
look into his hand history
Coach CK: I helped Full Tilt catch someone cheating a year ago
Coach CK: this guy is doing the same things

Funniest part imo

not funniest ever, but

last night i lost a 20k+ pot at 10/20 against lamont jordan with A3 on 245 against 55, and when the river paired the board (female dealer) he yells

DAYAMN SHE DESERVES c o c k FOR THAT ONE and tips her 500$

LOL

maybe not funniest but way better than these other crap ass stories

[ ] Retelling a joke that you made is indeed funny

Playing live at MGM 1/2NL had an all in 3-way on flop of AQJ after mad action preflop with monster stacks of about $1k twice and $800 the last. Hands are QJ, AK and KT. Turn brings a J to give the guy a boat and the other two drawing to an ace and the river is a Ten making AK guy thinking he's won with a straight and hi-fiving his mates.

How we lol'd!

Donking around in a live rebuy tournament, 1st hand got it all in on the flop 3 way top pair v my mates OESD v my flush draw. B4 the turn sum wise guy noticed he hadnt burnt a card pf. The dealer decided 2 take away the 1st card burn it and put down a new flop card, leaving me and my matey all in with no draw!!!

When we complained the dealer said "Fine u can deal urself and stormed off!!!"

He was sacked, but moved 2 the baller casino i play in regulaaarrr

Online, the guy who called all-in on the button with some weak trash that I can't remember. When asked why he called, he said "because I had position".

When u understand the value of position, thats when u have become a good player

TV: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJjjDULb6bM

Maybe not the funniest ever, but prolly the funniest in this thread. I loled.

Wow I'm so slow at noticing levels and was gonna flame you.

Very LOL mak mak

"Sit Here" does not come up in MTT's on Stars.

I lol'd