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Old 11-16-2009, 03:36 PM   #1
Conz
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Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

i know there was the thread about dumbest comments you've heard, share some of the purposely funny comments you've heard/made.
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Old 11-16-2009, 03:48 PM   #2
Astyanax
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

After bluffing with 9 high and getting called by K high..

Me (in the day when I said stupid stuff at the table): 'Dude wtf are you calling all-in with K high for?'

Fish: I was bluffing.

kbkfnlwejnflwjelfj
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Old 11-16-2009, 03:50 PM   #3
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

"You play good"
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Old 11-16-2009, 03:56 PM   #4
WOLVER1NE
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

"Your play is good, ur just having bad luck."

Yeah, right!
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Old 11-16-2009, 03:57 PM   #5
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

Quote:
Originally Posted by WOLVER1NE View Post
"Your play is good, ur just having bad luck."

Yeah, right!
WHAT! If I knew...
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Old 11-16-2009, 03:58 PM   #6
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

f u luck



EDIT: You mean personally in a live game?

oops
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Old 11-16-2009, 04:03 PM   #7
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Astyanax View Post
After bluffing with 9 high and getting called by K high..

Me (in the day when I said stupid stuff at the table): 'Dude wtf are you calling all-in with K high for?'

Fish: I was bluffing.

kbkfnlwejnflwjelfj
<3
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Old 11-16-2009, 04:20 PM   #8
ThePokerFink2
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

This is prolly one of those 'you had to be there' stories but I'll tell it anyway and hopefully you'll think it's funny. I nearly had to leave the table I was laughing so hard.

Std 2/5 game, guy raises to $25 in EP and gets like 5 callers then someone reraises to $160ish. Folds back to a guy who just called the raise and has like like $150 to start the hand so the call would be an all in for him. He has been tank/folding for the whole session the whole table already knew we were going to be waiting like 45-60 seconds before he folds. The raiser starts needling him after like 10 seconds "Come on we know you're gonna fold just fold your hand" and then after 30 seconds he spite calls. HU.

Board comes out: A78K9
3-bettor Tables his AK and says "Two pair"
Caller shows TJo for a straight.

3-bettor gets furious and goes off on him "How can you call, that's so bad" etc. etc. This goes on for about a minute, and over the next 5 minutes is still making comments and the table is telling him to calm down already and it's enough.

Finally after 10 minutes of hearing this guy complain, another guy at the table says to him "You almost beat him too, you had two pair !"

(I know it prolly wasn't that funny reading it, but the whole table burst into laughter !)
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Old 11-16-2009, 04:25 PM   #9
molinn9
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

Norman Chad after Annie Duke elimination this year wsop. Annie you are fired!


Magnus.
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Old 11-16-2009, 04:26 PM   #10
Rizzn
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

Quote:
Originally Posted by aura View Post
f u luck



EDIT: You mean personally in a live game?

oops
lol this one came to mind
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Old 11-16-2009, 04:40 PM   #11
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

you may find this racist, but whatever

i was at the Borgata and there were 3 jewish kids at the table next to me wearing yamakas, i of course being the piece of crap that i am said "huh, must be a capped game"

thank you and good night (didnt want to open the thread with this)
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Old 11-16-2009, 04:42 PM   #12
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

but you did open the thread so you could share your comedic prowess ldo
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Old 11-16-2009, 04:46 PM   #13
BudBundy
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoNNhi-waRk AINEC
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Old 11-16-2009, 04:49 PM   #14
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

'i put you on two kings' lto
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Old 11-16-2009, 04:51 PM   #15
brooklynrob
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Conz View Post
you may find this racist, but whatever

i was at the Borgata and there were 3 jewish kids at the table next to me wearing yamakas, i of course being the piece of crap that i am said "huh, must be a capped game"

thank you and good night (didnt want to open the thread with this)
[ ] racist
[x] clever
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Old 11-16-2009, 04:54 PM   #16
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

Quote:
Originally Posted by brooklynrob View Post
[ ] racist
[x] clever
can never be too careful. if i say "im not a racist" beforehand, maybe people will actually believe me!
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Old 11-16-2009, 04:55 PM   #17
Strip6
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

Get outta the shower cause i gotta flush.
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Old 11-16-2009, 05:06 PM   #18
rocketsfan4lyfe
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

but the fact that the jewish kids are playing poker doesn't mean anything at all?
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Old 11-16-2009, 05:45 PM   #19
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

Read this is in high stakes forum, the guy describing it is talking about perkysmerky and his slow rolls.....

Quote:
onepac,

"his 3 minute 300k pot slow rolls are epic and hilarious when its not you"

Hand history plzzz.
Quote:
100/200 NL, commerce reg shows up drunk at like 3am, perky is stuck maybe 150k and uber tilted. Reg buys in for 80K. Perky is down to 15K maybe...doubles thru the reg on a suicide/tilted over shove w like T high and pulls a "I have nothing show ur hand" for 30 seconds maybe....they get it in next hand perky has an airball again and agan 30 second "I missed slow roll"....reg reloads and warns perky not to do that sht again...reg is drunk and NOT HAPPY. Everyone else is laughing hysterically....very next hand they again get it in pre flop...
Reg"how many times u wanna run it"
Perky "once I have the nuts"
Reg" I have queens" perky
Perky "once, run it now"
Flop KTX
Perky "I lied, I have a Ten, u really have queens?"
Reg flips queens over, tun X river X
Perky "nice hand"
Reg "FU, what u really have"
Perky "air" this goes back n fourth for a full min tll perky starts yellin at dealer to ship reg the pot cause he has air. Dealer starts shipping the pot and perky junps up and throws his cards down and screams "king ball" K4o! He starts doing laps around thge room fist pumping "nutter butters w the king ball".

Story doesn't tell that well, but some of us were crying we were laughing so hard
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Old 11-16-2009, 05:55 PM   #20
Toupee Jay
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

Playing 20-40 Limit at Hollywood Park about ten years ago. I get beat with pocket Aces two hands in a row, both big pots that I lost on the river. I fling the cards skyward, and lo and behold they stick to the ceiling. The dealer calls the floor lady over and tells her what just happened. She looks up at the cards on the ceiling and tells the dealer, "Deal him back in when they come down." The whole table erupted in laughter! Even I had to smirk at that remark even though I was steaming at the time.
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Old 11-16-2009, 06:32 PM   #21
SabaAba
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Conz View Post
can never be too careful. if i say "im not a racist" beforehand, maybe people will actually believe me!
Except being Jewish is not a race so NOT racist :-)

I'm jewish and I found it LOL.
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Old 11-16-2009, 06:36 PM   #22
Astyanax
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

So I was playing cricket a few months ago and my team were batting and as I'm a bowler and bat down the order I was doing a spot of umpiring. Their bowler hit our batsman on the pads and appealed for lbw (leg before wicket). I said no and the opposition were dismayed. I turned to the angry bowler and said 'I'm actually a giver but that ball was going down leg'. This old man walked up to me, put his hand round my shoulder and said 'Son, it is better to be a giver than a receiver.'
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Old 11-16-2009, 06:53 PM   #23
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

Quote:
Originally Posted by SabaAba View Post
Except being Jewish is not a race so NOT racist :-)

I'm jewish and I found it LOL.
i know, but when you ask a jewish person what tey are, they usually say "jewish" so...who cares, i dont know why im even nitpicking this
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Old 11-16-2009, 07:15 PM   #24
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

live donkament in montreal, some idiots raise and the flop is aax bet by original raiser and other fish just calls turn is another ace. bet and then a min raise by the fish, min re raise by opener and so on they get it all in one guy had KK and the other has AQ. kk guy says

"what a cooler".
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Old 11-16-2009, 07:18 PM   #25
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Re: Funniest joke/line you've heard at a poker table?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Astyanax View Post
So I was playing cricket a few months ago and my team were batting and as I'm a bowler and bat down the order I was doing a spot of umpiring. Their bowler hit our batsman on the pads and appealed for lbw (leg before wicket). I said no and the opposition were dismayed. I turned to the angry bowler and said 'I'm actually a giver but that ball was going down leg'. This old man walked up to me, put his hand round my shoulder and said 'Son, it is better to be a giver than a receiver.'
[x] funny line
[ ] at the poker table
[ ] americans will stop reading when they see the word cricket

I liked tho
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