Watch "All pros fold kings full on the river" on YouTube
https://youtu.be/SIkBngGQrUU

Takes a while to get to end but Gus's response is amazing

stab a dude and eat poop

Anything by Padraig Parkinson.

https://www.cardplayer.com/poker-blo...ser-to-ireland

Viffer looking at Laak's cards while he was hiding under a couch.

Some other PAD hand with Kenny Tran, Dwan, and likely Viffer. I forget what happened entirely, but players were running to Leeann and something funny went down.

Gus telling Leeann he'd order a scotch was classic.

Hi Everyone:

While not exactly a joke, many years ago in the 1980s a player (in California) explained to me in much detail how chips were made. I was told that they were made out of old cheese which would get hard and brittle. Then holes were punched in the cheese and the chips would then be painted appropriately.

Best wishes,
Mason

3 handed to the turn with 2 women and an older man. Both women put in money, older man folds and says, "I cant handle 2 chicks at the same time!"

Back in the online hay day, I remember one guy was chat tilting all the time and was berating the players in very creative ways. He was losing and I was the one made him busto and then he turned his attention to me and said "I HOPE YOU EAT SHlT, FART ALL NIGHT AND DIE!!"
That was a quite entertaining session

friend of mine got drunk as he was winding down a session just left in the big 4.40 on pokerstars a few years back. so he started going hyper aggro to bust or win.

the best was winning with 102 off suit and he typed in all caps: "DALE BRANSAN FTW thats my boy!"

guys kept arguing with him and getting mad. and he kept just calmly stating "no this is DALE's hand. never heard of Doyle"

he also kept calling it poaker the rest of the tourney and made sure to keep commenting on himself being a "POWER POAKER PLAYAR"

actually went and shipped it.

Dale and Power Poaker still live in between my poker group

Well, 80/20.

To add to the thread, here's a true story about the inspiration for Joey Knish from Rounders.

Wow, helluva thread bump.

"Hang on, I need to answer this." - some guy in a bulging Rounder Life baseball cap.

Okay, but seriously... this doesn't count as a joke, but I did witness a funny exchange while waiting for my seat at a Bay Area room a little while back.

A big pot had brewed between an older man and a young woman. On a board that was something like A-A-3-2-5 with a river completing a possible flush, a multi-way pot had pared down to the two of them.

The man checked, and the woman fired out a smallish bet.

The man had raised pre, and had barreled at least the turn (I didn't see the flop action). Plus, he was just a talker in general. He looked at her and said, "Oh come on, no pretty girl like you could possibly bluff there, right?" Then he put in a check-raise.

She quickly popped him right back with a river three-bet. Didn't even hesitate.

This definitely set him back, which got the rest of the table laughing at him. His general bravado had vanished. Everyone in the room knew he had an ace, including this 20-something woman, who had now insta-raised into him. It's also worth noting that this guy dressed like he had time-warped out of the 70s: an actual three-piece tan suit, tie and a fedora. It's as if he saw Fred Williamson in Black Caesar, appropriated the look, and was still sticking with it four decades later.

"No pretty girl bluffs... no way this pretty girl is bluffing." He kept saying some version of this over and over, while staring at the board. At one point, he showed his hand to his neighbor, again uttering that mantra.

Finally, this AARP version of Tommy Gibbs folded, while announcing to the room one more time, "I'm telling you, no pretty girl like her knows how to bluff there." He said it half in disgust and half with pride, like he was making a hero laydown no one else at the table was good enough to do. (We'll ignore for a moment the wisdom of raising trip aces for value in the first place.)

She just looked at him and said, "Yeah, well... I ain't no pretty girl." Then bam – she showed him jack high for total air. Everyone at and around the table went nuts.

And one of the funny parts of all of this is that she was pretty damn attractive. Kind of reminded me of less dolled-up version of Joy Bryant, who at the time was a regular on the show Parenthood. (This may or may not be the reason I was paying attention to her table.) And I'm still not sure if that was part of her metagame: attractive woman, trying her best to look unattractive, but knowing that her relative hotness would still come through. Then she could use it to her advantage.

don't know if this is funny or what but had to share it

about 10 years ago, at regular 2-4NL game im owning the table, winning lots.
in walks a Chinese guy called Dan. He only showed up and bought in for £1k on occasions, usually when winning on the horses etc.

He sits down (seat to the left of me), i get in a pot with him and stack off with a silly bluff and lose about 30% of my stack.

The table is quiet as they know what is coming ... the Chinese blaster for the rest of the session.
As he is raking the pot i look across at my friend whos an older guy and look at him calmly and say .. 'well that's the first chink in the armour tonight' ....

After 10 seconds i realised why the hell people were laughing like **** and trying to hide their faces in their hands.

I soon got it ! oops

wilbury's story reminded me of this.

Years ago at PCA. Playing in a SNG.

Down to 4 handed ($1000 sng so we were all taking it seriously plus money bubble). all stacks about the same.

+45ish charming french woman 3-bet a dude all in on the turn (he had her covered). The second after saying "all in" ( i mean even before dealer put out the All In triangle) she turned to massage person next to table and asked for a 20 minute massage. Rest of us and a few people railing the game erupted in laughter. The way she said it, her timing, and the french accent were all so perfect.

She just sat there enjoying massage, seemingly uninterested in what the dude was going to do. Dude was lost and was not laughing , which made the whole thing even more funny. He tanked for a few minutes before folding.


sadly, she didnt show.

I read this awhile ago, always remember it. I obv wasn’t here for it so details are hazy, story was:

Table gets seated for the start of a tourney, everyone kind of nervous and not saying anything. Old grizzled vet is sitting next to a young nervous-looking kid, and while table is dead silent he looks at the kid and says, “Get your f*cking hand off my leg.”

lol

that reminds me of this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_mLf61GOjA&t=7m19s

lmfao

Norm's the GOAT.

“You play your money however you want, I’ll play their money however I want.”

-Sam Grizzle

What's your favourite when it comes to funny moments in poker?

I remember some dude going on astro tilt because he folded what would have become quads on the WSOP Main Event final table way back in the day. Nobody had anything so he wouldn't have won a big pot but that didn't prevent him from punting it all off lol.

Here's some more:

* "Nine ball, corner pocket"
* Robl getting it in with top pair vs a monster draw in PLO and scooping with a 25% hand after (despite) running it four times
* John Juanda's "I had trips"
* Tony G offering to stake Phil Hellmuth just so he will stay in the game after going broke yet again
* "Sam Farha does his lebanese chip dance" and many, many Gabe Kaplan moments
* Vanessa Selbst punting it all off yet again (the hand vs Prahlad comes to mind, I guess 5-bet bluffing is actually a thing in games that are pot limit before the flop lol
* JRB sucking up to the dealer when all-in in the Main Event and not realizing his opponent (who gives him the "Bye, bye" when drawing to a gutter on the turn) is still drawing live (and many, many JRB moments)
* a dude named "Brad" becoming an instant legend of the game in 30 minutes of Hustler Casino Live (see below)
* Tony G MERCILESSLY needling Rob Yong after sucking out in a massive PLO pot, yapping about how "EVERYONE's A WINNER, "CHAMPAGNE FOR THE CASINO", "I PLAYED IT LIKE A SET" lmao

What got me thinking about this is a part of this interview.



The section (it starts at 34:55) where he goes on a tangent about how he's way more likely to do insane stuff when he's winning ("It's money I didn't expect to have 20 minutes ago, it's a bonus, it's free play") is right up there with the funniest things I've ever heard in Poker.


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