i know there was the thread about dumbest comments you've heard, share some of the purposely funny comments you've heard/made.

After bluffing with 9 high and getting called by K high..

Me (in the day when I said stupid stuff at the table): 'Dude wtf are you calling all-in with K high for?'

Fish: I was bluffing.

kbkfnlwejnflwjelfj

"You play good"

"Your play is good, ur just having bad luck."

Yeah, right!

WHAT! If I knew...

f u luck



EDIT: You mean personally in a live game?

oops

<3

This is prolly one of those 'you had to be there' stories but I'll tell it anyway and hopefully you'll think it's funny. I nearly had to leave the table I was laughing so hard.

Std 2/5 game, guy raises to $25 in EP and gets like 5 callers then someone reraises to $160ish. Folds back to a guy who just called the raise and has like like $150 to start the hand so the call would be an all in for him. He has been tank/folding for the whole session the whole table already knew we were going to be waiting like 45-60 seconds before he folds. The raiser starts needling him after like 10 seconds "Come on we know you're gonna fold just fold your hand" and then after 30 seconds he spite calls. HU.

Board comes out: A78K9
3-bettor Tables his AK and says "Two pair"
Caller shows TJo for a straight.

3-bettor gets furious and goes off on him "How can you call, that's so bad" etc. etc. This goes on for about a minute, and over the next 5 minutes is still making comments and the table is telling him to calm down already and it's enough.

Finally after 10 minutes of hearing this guy complain, another guy at the table says to him "You almost beat him too, you had two pair !"

(I know it prolly wasn't that funny reading it, but the whole table burst into laughter !)

Norman Chad after Annie Duke elimination this year wsop. Annie you are fired!


Magnus.

lol this one came to mind

you may find this racist, but whatever

i was at the Borgata and there were 3 jewish kids at the table next to me wearing yamakas, i of course being the piece of crap that i am said "huh, must be a capped game"

thank you and good night (didnt want to open the thread with this)

but you did open the thread so you could share your comedic prowess ldo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoNNhi-waRk AINEC

'i put you on two kings' lto

[ ] racist
[x] clever

can never be too careful. if i say "im not a racist" beforehand, maybe people will actually believe me!

Get outta the shower cause i gotta flush.

but the fact that the jewish kids are playing poker doesn't mean anything at all?

Read this is in high stakes forum, the guy describing it is talking about perkysmerky and his slow rolls.....

Playing 20-40 Limit at Hollywood Park about ten years ago. I get beat with pocket Aces two hands in a row, both big pots that I lost on the river. I fling the cards skyward, and lo and behold they stick to the ceiling. The dealer calls the floor lady over and tells her what just happened. She looks up at the cards on the ceiling and tells the dealer, "Deal him back in when they come down." The whole table erupted in laughter! Even I had to smirk at that remark even though I was steaming at the time.

Except being Jewish is not a race so NOT racist :-)

I'm jewish and I found it LOL.

So I was playing cricket a few months ago and my team were batting and as I'm a bowler and bat down the order I was doing a spot of umpiring. Their bowler hit our batsman on the pads and appealed for lbw (leg before wicket). I said no and the opposition were dismayed. I turned to the angry bowler and said 'I'm actually a giver but that ball was going down leg'. This old man walked up to me, put his hand round my shoulder and said 'Son, it is better to be a giver than a receiver.'

i know, but when you ask a jewish person what tey are, they usually say "jewish" so...who cares, i dont know why im even nitpicking this

live donkament in montreal, some idiots raise and the flop is aax bet by original raiser and other fish just calls turn is another ace. bet and then a min raise by the fish, min re raise by opener and so on they get it all in one guy had KK and the other has AQ. kk guy says

"what a cooler".

[x] funny line
[ ] at the poker table
[ ] americans will stop reading when they see the word cricket

I liked tho