I'm a Masnon. We're the arch-enemies of the more widely known freemasons. We're just a little more illiterate, and we control nothing, let alone the world. Occasionally my girlfriend lets me control the T.V remote, but not usually....
Dude its real, if you dont want them to get you, do the following. Get some rope, find a tree, tie the other end of the rope to the tree, other end to your leg, then proceed to hang upside down from tree and try to disguise yourself as a sleeping bat. Its failproof, everyone will leave you alone.