Quote:
Originally Posted by FearTheDonkey
Here's my suggestion - why can't one have two sets of ethical standards? One for the poker table, one off it. You can be a ethical and kind person IRL, but a shark at the poker table - because the social contracts for both are different.
Excellent. Really excellent.
I got lucky in life. Growing up I would often play card games with my grandmother. If we played a new game, she would show me the rules and we might play a bunch of sample hands, but once we started playing she would play for keeps. She might give some advice on how I played something, but it was only after the fact. She played to win. That was the best thing she could do for me because it made me a better card player. I had to play better if I wanted to win. When we played a new game I probably lost 90+% of the time, but I got better much quicker than I would have otherwise. I appreciate that because I was competitive. Getting better was more important than being gifted wins.
I don't have kids, but someone once told me that the best thing you can ever do for your kids is to never lie to them. To me, softplaying a child is lying to them about their skill in a game.
Similarly, I have a couple of friends who I occasionally play very low stakes poker with. They are all very smart, highly educated people. None of them are very good poker players. A few of them could be excellent but that has never been a priority for them. When I play with them, I try my hardest to win their money. Well, I should qualify that. I probably play too loose because I like to challenge myself, but given each hand, I will never take it easy on them. I have a saying. "You know what is better than winning a pot at poker? Winning a pot at poker against a friend." Winning my friends money is the best. My friends expect me to play them hard. When I played golf with them (and they were better than me) I fully expected them to try hard to beat me.
Poker is a game. Ultimately I am going to try my hardest to win games. I know that for some, it isn't a game. It might be a living, or it might be the rent. Those are their problems though. They are trying to make a living off of a game or are betting the rent on a game.
That said, I am always sympathetic to others between hands. I cannot count the number of times where I have suggested to other players that they should leave the table because they were drunk, on tilt, or playing over their heads with the money. I am empathetic to others woes.
That said, once the cards are dealt, I am trying to win. I have had players (who were playing with money they shouldn't have) hit big wins against me and that winning money goes towards things it shouldn't. I can try and help them not play a game, but once they choose to play, it is not my problem.