I like to toss a modestly unoriginal:

"Brad Booth called, he would like his ridiculous overbet back"

when people go all in way overbetting a tiny pot.

thats lame.

When they say "rigged", my usual response is

"That doesn't prove its rigged. That just proves God loves me more"

Usually sets them off. Another one I like is

ME:"You should really contact support about that problem"
Them:"What problem?"
ME:"It looks like your fold button doesn't work"

what to you do when ppl sweating your play say it is rigged.

why would you encourage people to fold more?

if this is the up n' coming group of internet poker smart-asses my chat I'm closing the chat box.

"you must be german"

omg, that's awesome.

definitely my favorite.

I'm playing a SNG to kill time while I'm reading this.. This thread and playing at the same time is a lethal combination.

jc

QQ vs AA all-in post flop...

No, no, I remember the hand now...

It was QT vs 77 and he had 2 pair on the flop...

anything involving grease fires or aids or preferably both

This was the post I was replying to. SKAKK wondered what kind of draw has 2 outs.

My KK vs. AA was an example of such a situation.

My smart a$$ reply of "Heads up for rolls" meant, if SKAKK couldn't think of a 2-outer situation, I'd like to play him hdsup4rolls.

Did not mean to imply the OP hand was QQ vs AA.

ya missed one. lolz

Understood. I couldn't remember the hand until after I posted it.
Still not sure I have it quite right...
But I distinctly remember something about Q's and 7's.

It could've been something like:

AQ vs Q7s

QA7 flop --- ( Me: bet. Him: All-in (<PSB) Me: call... )

7x turn, river

that's pretty close. looking at it, i think that hand might put me on
tilt, too.

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Ha I won my biggest pot ever for me the other night... like $750 playing heads up $2/4NL on super mega tilt...

the dude was cbetting and 3betting EVERY FLOP and potting every street every time...
I finally called him down with KT on a T74xQ flop against his AK i think it was.....

He then told me how much I sucked while he reloaded and berated me...
I said "youre right. I play bad." and sat out and refused to leave the table.

He said very very mean things to me for about an hour.




I also had a hand where a short stack was all in preflop then it was me and another guy.

I think I shoved the river or something and and got the other dude to fold and I lied in chat about my hand and kept insisting that I had aces or whatever (even after the hand showed down)

He talked about it and berated me forever and lost a few stacks.

ascooot: your new handle should be "DANGERDONK"

dangeraw: your new handle should be chip envy
ascooot: actually i know ill get yours soon enough
dangeraw: in your dreams
ascooot: its just a matter of time before the program turns
surgeon2: hey, some players are never supposed to be rivered against
surgeon2: only ok for them to river
surgeon2: just the way it is
surgeon2: right danger

this just happen. i thought we're bothgoo at this surgeon should've stayed out of it though he jnixed me.

my version of the dnapf

Good one

my favorite live one was....

guy turns a big boat...
other guy hits a smaller boat on river....
money is all in on the river...
smaller boat guy yelles out "boat"... and slams the cards on the table...
other guy ... just stairs at the cards on the table... and nodes his head.. and the guy starts to grab the chips in the middle of the pot all happy... and the other guy throws his cell phone to him...
he says .."whats this for?"
bigger boat guy says.. "call a cab"..
and flops the bigger boat over...
it was the funniest slow roll.... slash line i ever seen.....

a full house draw

"I broke the mouse.
Your mom's gonna be mad when she gets here.
That woman....
she's a cougar!"

"The mexican donkey show called. they want their star back."

"you suck worse than a broken vacuum"

After a suck out by me:

"Me: brutal. nh.
Villain: Go **** yourself."
That last one had me rollin.
Simple and to the point.

douchebaggery.

I love this!

I just had 66, blah blah blah, river is a 6 with 33 on the board, I shove, donk turns over 33, I just sighed and told him "nh".

[x] stairs
[x] nodes

My favorite...

"looks like the nutz are on your chin....."