The best poker chat put down? - Page 5 - Poker News

Ugh, this one is the worst/most tilt-inducing.

I actually recently had a guy tell me that it was a "bad beat" when my queens beat his tens. I was genuinely confused and typed "but queens beat tens." The board was J98J so he patiently explained to me that I only had 2 outs to improve, but he had 10 outs, so I sucked out on him. (Yes, he was counting the remaining queens even though they were false outs, obv)

I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just typed again "... but queens beat tens."

He proceeded to tilt and rant and tell me what a stupid rookie I was, so I guess that did it.

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04-29-2008 , 02:03 PM

#103

Warteen

[ ] wears the pants

Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 4,323

Quote:

Originally Posted by Verstehen

I think you got leveled.

Quote

04-29-2008 , 02:45 PM

#104

sirbenfro

adept

Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 800

Quote:

Originally Posted by As2s3s4s5s

<*}}}}}}}><

Quality

Quote

04-29-2008 , 03:00 PM

#105

Ninjar 2.0

journeyman

Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 201

I don't tend to get people flipping out at me but any time I notice 2 guys going off on eachother I let it for for a minute the interupt with:

"Girls, you're both pretty."

That seems to have a solid effect.

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04-29-2008 , 03:16 PM

#106

FiveAce

newbie

Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 41

I forget exactly how it went but I remember reading about this rant and insult by a player who just took a bad beat. It was rather funny. It went something like this:

bad beat player: "You idiot. Don't you know how to play. You are the worse player I ever saw." Blah Blah Blah. And he continues with lots of insults.

Innocent bystander not in the hand: "Hey do not tap the aquariam. Let it go."

bad beat player: "Its not like he can read anyways."

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04-29-2008 , 03:25 PM

#107

oxymoron

journeyman

Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 380

I haven't done it for a long time but I used to say when I sat down:
"My name is Muerte, prepare to die."

It's funny the response it gets. The best so far is the Nice Throw comment.

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04-29-2008 , 03:28 PM

#108

CPHoya

Warden of Taipan Island

Join Date: Jul 2006 Posts: 73,265

variation on the fish:

<º(( <

Also:

"I have other properties in valuetown."

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04-29-2008 , 03:34 PM

#109

bookish

adept

Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 752

A short-stack was berating the table having been sucked out on. He wasn't any good, natch.

Me: "Could you speak up a bit. I can't hear you from behind that pile of chips".

Maybe you had to be there.

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04-29-2008 , 03:36 PM

#110

Pcallinallin

formerly the original donkey penis

Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 5,035

I like to use.....

"Hey, Lucky sombraro works... cool!" - After sucking out
"I suck" - When I beat a loudmouth with a monster
"Sigh" - When I loose to a 4 outs or less

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04-29-2008 , 03:41 PM

#111

Rickety Cricket

banned

Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 766

I'm definetely going to start using the "insert more coins" one

That was awesome.

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04-29-2008 , 03:46 PM

#112

CanYouBetOnThat

journeyman

Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 395

You just bought me a new car!

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04-29-2008 , 04:30 PM

#113

manzoni

centurion

Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 166

Best one I saw was when someone typed in

8===>---- YOU

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04-29-2008 , 04:44 PM

#114

dDiabolical

journeyman

Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 378

SHIP IT

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04-29-2008 , 04:57 PM

#115

turbo_dog

newbie

Join Date: Jan 2007 Posts: 29

"Go ask your husband for more money"

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04-29-2008 , 05:12 PM

#116

hamsamich

veteran

Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 3,327

busto: You foul filth filth mother fouling filth filther.

2p2r:

busto: Hey you filth son of a foul how could you raise with that fouling hand

2p2r:

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04-29-2008 , 05:46 PM

#117

Jiffman

newbie

Join Date: May 2007 Posts: 34

I just keep silent usually, sometimes it can really wind people up if you studiously ignore them, also I'm not good enough to think up clever witty insults and play poker!

Sometimes if they're really going mental at me I like to just say 'but it was a coin-flip', no matter how the hand played out - even if I hit a two-outer...insane monkey tilt guaranteed!!

I liked this one:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Karnage

[observer] means you get to observe. It doesnt say, [whine like a baby].

But I thought it could be subtley improved...if I may be so bold...[Observer] means you get to observe. It doesn't say [Whiner]

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04-29-2008 , 05:53 PM

#118

I.M. Baked

veteran

Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 2,584

heads up game losing to mouthy villan. he says "if i lose to you i'm going to kill myself"

he loses

we play again half hour later.

me "what are you still doing alive?"

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04-29-2008 , 06:00 PM

#119

CnC

old hand

Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,427

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissT74

"Players only at the table, please"

Another classic

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04-29-2008 , 06:24 PM

#120

Wolverine

adept

Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 1,064

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hadis

This is exactly what I came into this thread to post.

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04-29-2008 , 06:49 PM

#121

One

centurion

Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 130

I usually am pretty friendly and most of the time I don't say anything but I think I like this if someone berates you after you calling you down with nothing and losing:

"I'd recommend a poker book but I see you have difficulties with reading."

If the berating is really ridiculous one could answer ridiculous:

"mommy sais you shuld be ashamed of saying such things after losing all yur mony to a five year old"

There is also Yang style:

"This is all the Lord's will. I am merely his servant."

Then of course you could use a movie line:

"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti."

Last edited by One; 04-29-2008 at 06:59 PM.

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04-29-2008 , 07:31 PM

#122

splittingaces

banned

Join Date: Feb 2008 Posts: 75

I tell them to make sure they say hi to Christopher robin and Winnie the Pooh when they get home. And if piglet is around they should send my regards.

Oh, and tell tigger he still owes me 5$

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04-29-2008 , 08:41 PM

#123

unlucky4me

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 4,079

Hello unlucky4me -

We are writing to inform you that we have suspended your chat priv-
ilege for 3 hours as a result of your chat on 2008/04/29.

The use of vulgarity at the tables is against the Card Room
Rules.The following chat was observed
ha what a jack asssss
it pains me to think one of you jack assesss might get in the world series
what a fu.cking embarrassment that will be