Just had this one the other day.

Our PLO game is infested with regulars. Not necessarily a bad thing as many if them are not pro level, but there is a core group that plays regularly.

Whenever I deal, I sit down and usually I know at least 6 or 7 of the players. Often all 8 of the players are regs. I can literally call all of them by their first names without ever looking at Bravo.

Where this is a problem is that familiarity among the players breeds a certain level of comfort that leads them to take jokes and ribbing a bit too far. They will say things to each other that as a dealer I technically should put a complete stop to, but they are all enjoying themselves so I also do not want to be a spoil sport and stop something everyone is enjoying.

It is a fine line, and I will admit it is a tough line to walk as a dealer. My minimum is I try to protect the non-regulars and anyone I see is uncomfortable with the talk. I am sure I have failed in some circumstances, but I do try. It is a fine line.

I mean it is mostly stupid stuff where one player will comment about another player being too tight or too loose and then someone making a comment about the players wife/mother being too tight or loose. Stuff like that. Stupid stuff, but technically unacceptable. What makes it harder is one of the regulars is a older lady (maybe low 60s??), who mostly stays quiet, but every now and then will throw out a devastating response. She likes it as much as the rest. If a 60 something year old grandma is ok with the behavior, how can I police it as a dealer?

All if this is fine. However it is quite clear two of the players do not really like each other. All of the other players can say the worst about eithers wife/mother/girlfriend but if they say something to each other, they get mad.

So the other day these two get into it. It was stupid. The table is playing a bomb pot. I deal the cards and put out the two boards. Action is slow (like all bomb pots). Just then a food runner brings food to player A. He is engrossed in conversation with the food runner when action finally gets to him. He is distracted, so there is a pause. Player B (his mortal enemy) starts harassing him and talking smack.

Player A finally acts on the flop. Action moves around slowly and we get to the turn. By the time action gets to Player A, he is distracted opening his food and silverware so there is a delay. Again this sets off Player B who gives him crap. Player A ends up calling a turn bet.

We go to the river. There is a bet and Player A calls and a 3rd player calls.

Player A wins half the pot, but he won the half he wasn't aiming for. His calls were a bit suspect. Not OMG the worst, but also probably not recommended. I am not a double board bomb pot expert, so I am not the best judge, so while I understood the logic behind his calls, I don't think it was sound.

Whatever.

Player B starts in on him. Giving him all sorts of crap.

Player A is now stacking his half of the pot, but he is also eating his food at the same time. It is some sort of chicken curry. It is much hotter/spicy than he expected. So he is already sweating.

Player B keeps talking smack and it pisses off Player A. He starts to talk back and the talk is escalating. They both start making open threats towards each other.

I try to de-escalate the situation, but they are not listening to me and are only focused on talking to each other.

Player B then stands up and looks like he is going to make it physical. Player A puts a fork full of chicken curry in his mouth and stands up ready to make it physical as well. I am already looking around for a floor. It has gone beyond normal hatred. They are going to go at it.

Suddenly Player A starts coughing and choking. The chicken curry is too spicy for him. He is wheezing, coughing, and sweating. Finally he says "Eff you!", I am going to eat my food and enjoy it".

He sits back down.

Player B is standing, and suddenly feels stupid physically threatening someone who sat back down and started eating. So he sits back down and play continues.

Never got to a physical confrontation, but it was close.

Spicy chicken curry saved the day.

I got very excited that player B was about to get a face full of coughed out curry chicken. Now I have altercation story blue balls.

Hahaha. Yeah the post was so long I scrolled to the end and read the last few paragraphs, saw that there was no fight and skipped it.

Sorry JimL, but if I wanted blue balls I would go to a strip club.

Altercation Blue Balls would make for a great band name.

Anyone have any good stories involving dealers?

A long time ago I wasn't dealing, but I was playing at a table where a player got mad at a dealer over something that wasn't the dealers fault. The dealer tried to be nice, but the player wasn't having any of that and said some stuff that should have got him banned.

Basically he threatened the dealer to a fight. Asked him if he wanted to meet in the parking garage. The dealer engaged him and pretended like he was considering it.

Finally the dealer, says "I would meet you in the garage, but I won't bet on it because it would be unfair. You are going to lose."

This sets of the guy and he goes absolutely apeshit and really starts in on the dealer. The rant culminated with the player asking him the dealer could possibly think he could win?

The dealer responded "I will be bringing two or three of those guys with the yellow/red/black/whatever suits. They will have walkie talkies that can call dozens more plus contact the police. Who are you bringing?"


The point of this is that physical altercations with dealers are rare simply because one side has extra resources to bring to the fight, right or wrong.

This is also a severely negative social attitude-adjuster among casino floormen, who develop certain character traits because they spend all day, every day, barking orders and telling people what to do, customers and employees alike, backed up by armed security who will do their bidding at the drop of a hat...

Whenever I've had a non-gaming social occasion where I know there will be a lot of gaming suits in attendance, I avoid it because they're usually about at the same spot on the douchebag-spectrum as fans at an amateur MMA contest.

100% convinced spending a lot of time surrounded by personal security contributes to this because most of the time, they're otherwise people who'd get beaten up very quickly for acting that way.

Dumbest take ever.

I am not saying there are dealers/floorpeople who abuse their authority of course there are.

However, there are many orders of magnitude dealers/floorpeople who get abused by players.

Not even close. Laughingly comparable.