after a while i get myself together find a white dinner shirt in the corner ,comb my hair in a high poumpadour put on my high-end fake breitly ,my prada boots and my 400.00 bankroll stashed in my sports coat i walk out hands trembling down the stairs its 8;45 am and cool breezy i lit a smoke head over for a drink at one of my central east spots to spread the xmas cheer and squeeze some good times out of the holidays baby .....

Thread title is horribly misleading.

Was half expecting an article about the effects of poker on mainstream culture in the 21 century.

****ing NVG... lol.

OP, you're trolling is pretty good.

This is the only place the mods will allow mrwong to tell his stories. Whenever he starts a new thread it gets shut down pretty quickly.

If anyone doesn't understand Mr Wong, I've provided pictorial accompaniment:

Mr Wong wrote:

it was xmas morning



i awoke in my bugsy seigal



weekly



suffering from heart-pains ,



my breathing restricted to small pants .....



even more unsettling was re-aquiring dream as real -like that of the V new book in hd .It showcased a good guy a non descript family guy of 50



a average b rec player for many years that in his retirement



went pro



and he lost everything over 12 months ,



100k and his wife and



handicapped son and



his eventually his life by his hand as i rolled over in bed i could see him in my dream walking up a staircase to the 3rd floor looking down at me ...saying ... your a stand up guy



one of a dying breed baby



and falling 35ft to his death as i awake sheets wet heart pounding 230 beats /minute



breathing cut off



i feel the warm flow of uraine as i grasp for a breath



i fall off the single bed and



slowly restore my air looking up at the stained yellow ceiling breathing that familier scent i crawl to the table



ande



grasp a bud ....

i walk into a bar to calm my shakes i sit next to a old icon of vegas a man known by many back in the day he was a collector among other things a man close to 80 and a true capitolist he designed a composition of chemicals in a galvenized tub that would melt down gold ,every decent booster would bring him their heist and 3o rings/15 gold chains turned into a little ball of gold ,effin brilliant the downside was the fumes burned his throat lining and he suffered splashing to the face that left hideouse scarring ....i sit next to him and ...how you doing bighitter.........

he looked at me as he downed a shooter ,he pulled out a deck of matches and asked me for a game for a round of drinks.....i smiled becouse i know its a hustle you see and i paid him off before but figured what the helll.................the jist of this game is you take 15 matchsticks put them in 3 rows of 3...5...7 the idea is you can take as many matches out of each row only if the row has been played if you go to the bottom row and theres 7 matched you can only take up to 1 to 6 but if the 3rd row has 5 matches you can swipe the row the object of the game is to leave the opponent with one match ............before i can say anything he takes two matches off row 1 leaving 1 match i lit a smoke and look at the 13 matches and 3 rows and think about it as he stares at me

i take 3 matches from row 2 ...he takes 6 matches from row 3 so theres 1match row 1, 2 matches row 2 1 match row3 ..........my turn ......i take one match row 2 leaving one match on three rows he takes one match off row 1 i take a match off row 2 and he loses as hes stuck with last match row 3 ...this triggers a angry face but he reaches and buys the round puts his drink up as i toast him ..............i say heres to never meeting anyone you would rather be ....he smiles takes the shot.......... lifts his beer and he toasts... heres to christmas i wont see another ........i give him a smile and take a deep swig

i look over at the old-guy and say you know what you have 5 more x-mas in you ....he looks at me in anger and says ...i am not like those pu$$ies on the titanic running back and forth i will die like a man in dignity you see................. lifes about holding on and letting go the thing with guys like us we dont have anything to hold on to ...as he sets up a match game re-match he jumps the gun and swipes top two matches off first row i follow up with taking the last match off first row he then takes 4 matches off second row stares at me as i appear stuck on the math part of the game.

i have one match on second row 7 matches on third row i take a swig of hams beer ,i know he has me but take 3 matches of third row............he insta swipes 4 matches off third row leaving me stuck with one match on second row he then adds ...what are you doin dummy stupid play ..i throw a double-sawbuck on the bar order a round as his sausage yellowed fingers set up a new match i start to feel better as i embrace my lonewolf xmas and its not even noon yet

i lit a smoke as he takes another pee break i remember him dealing with a debter back in the day ,i may touch on this story later i look at the match game this time he took one match off the first row ......theres something EV positive about starting first let me showcase
111
11111
1111111
you can only draw from one row ....a untouched row you must leave one match...the player with last match loses

you know i would like to say a few things here the other days a guy a degen low stakes guy like me struggling his grey skin and bad sicial skills lahed out .... he said your stories are only good becouse they are real but a good writer would make better stuff up .....i thought about this...its like if i want to read a story about being a bank robber would the story be better written raw by a bankrobber or a piece of fiction written by a english prof i took a drink

I feel someone should spread some x-mas cheer and maybe i should be the first to hold my drink up ,i would like to thank 2plus2 for supporting my kooktown stories and thoughts and wish everyone here a merry xmas baby ,i mean in a word life is good in all its forms conventional or nonconventional ,being alive is good ...im going to make a toast and its from a good guy ...."getting older in this niche ,its about letting go and holding on".....i wouldnt change a thing baby

More!!! This is the only way this crap is readable. A+

well i brought xmas in lone-wolf style people i walked down to hooters and tropicana to mgm drinking bud king cans out of my gym bag as i wore cashmere cardigan ,white wifebeater tee ,mexx black dress pants,prada dress boots ,gold 5mm 20inch herryingbone gold chain,high-end fake brietly 42mm watch ,hair in a 6 inch pompadour smoke in mouth...feeling good as i hit parisparis and ballys as i initiate eye contact with multyple sexy broads ,i deciede to run thru bally stop off at leburger leer at the waitress whilst i open a bud walk down the mall get two complimentry wrinkle cream samples rub the cream in my dehydrated skin ,open another beer walk past le-burger , older black bartender giving me the look i think ev - and walk on to ballys

as i walk by le-burger i hit ballys with a new ly opened bud kingcan i walk outside across street to CROMEWELL ,it used to be bills a much better place ,i deciede to keep walking as i go by linq ,i open another bud ,as i start to feel the x-mas spirit ...

i walk by macdonalds and have two cheeseburgers i go down the stairs feeling great walk to walgreens beside the V and buy two more bud king cans find a nice spot on sidewalk ,put on my headphones fumble for my circa 2006 mp player and spin up two of the greatest xmas song of all time baby ....im dreaming of a white xmas bing crosby....and fairytale of ny by the pogues ....and blue xmas elvis presley ....this is all a guy needs it may be spartan but that ok it christmas .........

bruh how could you forget

i sit down at a ballys 1/2 game ,mostly becouse the linq 1/1 game is over-subscribed i sit at seat 8 looking across the table i see a drunk guy that looks like jason witten and a chubby version of jessica simpson with a 1/2 inch gap between her teeth ,i wait for the runner glance at them both with my hollywwod smile i say .....whats going bighitter ,i have a inkling i will have trouble with this guy as he says ....WHATS THAT FANCYBOY!!!!

Well it takes me 45 minutes to get a good lay of the land ....i like to know ranges i resist leering at waitresses bums as most are not that good and BR is paramount ,i muck like a nit through a range of bad cards like that of 75 pages of a bad novel ,i grab my package and try and relax as i feel some hate-filled glances from the texas couple ,she folds everything but premiums a walking cliche dumbdumb ....in the old days low hanging fruit like her was everywhere ...now not to much ,i order a bud think about walking to leburger to leer at waitress on way to bathroom ,comp wrinkle cream feels good on 52 year old face ,i pull my big wiener out and have a pee.

I going to suspend my story to discuss a rare opportunity that i will share with you for your betterment.Now ,go mix a drink whilst i think about this here..............ok in prior posts i discussed how i was out-played in this match- game for multyple drinks ,now i need someone to help me figure out the EDGE that this game offers and the opportunity to crowbar drinks from naive toursits,a EV + pursuit.

ok this is the settup its seems that going first is a huge advantage but why and if the opponent goes first how does a guy overcome .
the matches are placed like this,you can takes as many matches out of each row provided a match has been removed ,if the row has not been played you need to leave at least one match,player left with one match loses.
III
IIIII
IIIIIII

If zero matches are left it's a push?

you cant have 0 matches the object of the game is to leave the opponent with 1 match .............if theres no matches on row 1 or row 2 but 4 matches on row 3 a guy would simply swipe 3 matches and the loser is left with one.
EV positive PLAYED CANADIAN TOURISTS 8 MATCH games WENT 8/8 WHILE GOING FIRST 4/8 GOING SECOND FOR EV = 4 DRINKS = 30.00 .\
this could be big going out now to find tourist fountains of dreams WYNN hotel to work my edge and people say poker players lazy

Was lookin at this threat 2 yiers ago. Crazy what it became so good. Thanks won 👌

wheres all the nerds to help me figure the math behind this game ...won three drinks from newjersey couple at WYNN this is EV POSITIVE PURSUIT ...EDGE IS I THINK IN GOING FIRST BUT DONT KNOW THE MATH