The text in the box above my post is called a "quote". In this quote you told a cute little story about people's nicknames and I asked you what nicknames have to to with people who like to be called by their preferred pronouns.

Sure, if you go out of your way to "correct" people often, they will likely change. They also will probably lower their opinion of you and enjoy your company less if you constantly ask them to refer to you as "William" instead of "Billy". People like calling other people by whatever name they (the caller) has chosen, and they don't generally enjoy being corrected or having it pointed out that they remembered incorrectly. So most people (like Cuepee and myself anyway) just go along with whatever words others use to refer to them, as long as it is understandable. Conversely, if you want someone not to like you, start lecturing them about how to refer to you.

And I explained it for you (even though I don't really see why it was necessary), as I was the one who made the correlation originally, not Cuepee.

i had NO SAY in my given names nor any of my nicknames that evolved over time.

Can i exert some say, sure, if i felt compelled to.

The point of this line of discussion is that the vast, vast majority of people do not have any say, and do not assert any once others just decide and go with it.

I am not saying one cannot assert.

99.99% of people will call you by whatever name you prefer if you ask them politely. That’s just a nut low basic courtesy that apparently some people don’t think trans people deserve.

Just use whatever pronouns people prefer. It’s. Not. Hard.

Are you incapable of following a dialogue?

Can you not see I was replying directly to a question asked by another poster?

If you are capable or reading and comprehending that, then you know I was answering a very specific question.

As always you are going with your own arguments in your own head.

You are not discussing with me whether or not anyone would call you what you want if you ask and assert a specific form of address. So take your strawman elsewhere.


If the question or topic is 'did you choose your names or nicknames' and I reply 'I did not', you reply 'no one would not call you what you want... it is just courtesy' is a nonsense reply to what I replied to.

I agree if a person asserts than I would use their name. I also KNOW, most people have never asserted despite having given names and numerous nicknames they had zero input in.


There tends to be an organicness in how OTHERS choose a name for you (family, friend, work colleagues and teammates) based on how they perceive you. IT is really 'their' name for you. Most of us allow them that.

And you were comparing nicknames to pronouns which is rather silly....

It's not the worst analogy in the world. I know a guy whose legal first name is Steve but he goes by Nick. I don't understand at all why he doesn't like Steve, that's odd and confusing to me. Of course I still call him by the name he prefers because that's obviously the decent thing to do. If I insisted on calling him Steve because I find that confusing, everyone would think I'm an *******.


The notion that we have no control over what name people call us is also just ludicrous when you think about it at all. It's just a BS excuse to deny human dignity to people with non-heteronormative gender identities.

I agree with you except for the nickname thing. I don't see any connection between "Steve wants to be called Nick" and "My life is a living hell because I am trapped in the wrong body and at least I want to be referred by the correct pronoun"

I have a collegue, let's call her Susie. Susie is in Transition, with hormones and all the stuff. But right now, Susie looks like a man with long hair, her voice sounds like a man's voice. Stubbornly referring to her as "he" or even start a discussion about how I feel that she is a he would make me feel like an ******* without any empathy. Also no one in the office never had any problems referring to her with a female pronoun, no talking behind her back or anything.

I also would have no problem calling Susie by her new name and by the pronoun she. In fact I know a few trans women and refer to them regularly with their new names and pronouns. I have no issues with that, as it's not generally confusing and doesn't use a confusing new meaning for an old word. You and others have read about my dislike for the use of the word "they" for a single non-binary person and inferred a lack of respect for the human dignity of anyone who is not cis hetero, which I think was wrong to do to begin with. It certainly is ridiculous to continue to assert that after it has been directly contradicted; you certainly don't know what is in my mind better than I do.

This is just all the more reason to make an effort to use preferred pronouns.

Then don't use "they". No one cares. Others are more successful, they don't find using "they" confusing at all.

See I still have faith in him, I believe he can figure out non-standard pronouns if he really tries.

False. That is your inability to comprehend what you read.

If a person (uke) asks specifically about 'names' and not pronouns and I answer that question that is not me comparing them. That is me answering his question.

The vast majority, and it is not even close, are people GIVEN their changed names/nicknames by others, and not one they adopted voluntarily and those names are used while their birth given name are not. Plus the person likely never chose their legal name either.

So neither of those make the point you think they do, as you speak to a minority while ignoring the vast majority.

None of this changes anything about the fact that you compared nicknames to pronouns. At least own your mistakes instead of using the "You just don't understand my smart posts, peasant!"

Except I did not and you just keep showing you inability to read and process arguments made.

If you’re a functional adult you can legally change your name at any time, you can politely ask people to call you a different name and it’s not even a big deal.

It is so amusing how you reply so often with non sequiturs that no one is disputing or discussing as if you think you are making some point.

Let me try. 'If you are functioning adult you can go on vacation'.

Gotcha Trolly.

AGAIN, the fact of the matter is, almost no one chooses their given names. They are given to them. As they go thru life they are also typically given an assortment of nicknames and even variations on their given name, none of which they have any input in to.

You retort but they CAN change it... they could ASK others to not call them that, not realizing you are making the point. They COULD, but almost none do. Billions upon billions of people who do not assert you call them a way they prefer and just accept that the way OTHERS address is their way of taking some ownership in their relationship with you. It is them personalizing the relationship with you.

"You just don't understand my smart posts, peasant"

It's paragraphs like this one that are the reason why this thread should be closed forever.

Truth hurts and i understand that.

Your issue and question is with uke who asked the question, not with the person who answered him.

Use your words. Explain?

You're the most intelligent guy on this forum (lol), you'll figure it out.