Ok I read this thread a lot, so I'll contribute. More of an Absurd scenario than individual thinking.

Underground NY game. 5-5 nl, decently deep stacked, 9 handed. This was at least 4-5 yrs ago, my days of playing are well behind me.

The game is good, very loose and allows a button straddle. I am the btn and straddle for sth like 20-30. The whole table, except for 1 guy on my right calls. I look at black aces at make it about 250-400. I have ~ 2,500, rest like 1-2k, sb has 4k, is a friendly dealer who i've never seen play and is on a super heater of loose gambling.

Once he flats, everybody else follows suit. I specifically remember the flop : 2d 4d 10x.

Sb bets 400, bb jams 1.5kish, UTG (a nitfish who can be tilted to a semi-nit) calls quick. Then one by one, the rest of the 5 players call the rest of their stacks. "**** it", "gambool" etc are some of the verbal reasonings as stacks get pushed.

It gets to me. If i was playing properly rolled, i have to call. I was not. I did not want to let go of 2.5k i built from 500. This game was extremely loose, so there's decent (~25% chance) I have the best hand. There's so much money in there, I could stop and take out my calculator to draw odds of my 2outer if somebody showed me a set. Im too lazy, stacks are hazy, but im getting very good odds to call.

I don't. I fold. Before I do, I showed the guy next to me (the only folder pre) and toss em in.

Sb sighs, flips over Q10o. Im not gonna lie, I can't remember that ****ing detail. I dont know if he called or not. Whatever. Turn/River were sth i dont remember (no A).

Showdown: BB A10dd, (hence who i vividly remember flop) UTG KK, rest one pair, gutshot, fd type hands with a QJo sprinkled in.

As UTG (who flatted a button straddle w KK, saw table limp to btn (super LAG), who then raises big, still only flats UTG, rightfully snaps the flop jam, and then survives the ****ing DECK/gets aces to fold) starts stacking the veritable avalanche of reds, greens, and blacks - " I folded black aces ), me blurts, amid the ****ing chaos, envy and gumba camraderie.

A few chuckle. Some laugh "Nice ****ing try, Sonny".

Then the guy next to me speaks up "He did, I saw them".

Then the laughs really break out. "Hey Sonny, those chippies (13k, 15k, a million?dont ****ing know) should be in front of you if you had balls" is the one I remember.

Surreal moment.

I gotta imagine the guy dealing raked/stole ~500 in that pot cuz nobody would have cared/noticed.

Most ppl won't believe but its 100% true story. The cards, flop and number of ppl in pot are all correct. Dollars amounts are as best of my memory.

I gotta remember that story next time I feel bad about a hand I play.

Couple little funny ones.

OMC limps AA UTG and I can't remember any other action, but he wins a small pot and after the hand states "I can't raise from this position"

OWC, tanks for about 10-15 seconds vs river shove w/K6 on KK104K. The guy turns over his hand and she thinks for about 10 seconds and finally turns over her hand and the guy rolls his eyes and says "slowroll". She claims it wasn't a slowroll because she called

Playing the other night at the casino, get short. There's a raise to $6 or something before me, I jam my remaining $35 with AJcc. Big blind, kind of a loose gambler type, calls, everyone folds. He says he has 10 high and shows 10-6hh. Ends up with a boat by the river. I just tap the table, "nh". He then says, "I've lost the last 4 or 5 hands I played, I figured odds dictate I'm due to win one, only reason I called". I just nodded earnestly and said, "That's actually sound logic". Reload and hope he keeps "playing the odds".

^^^ This is usually where the Table Professor pipes up, "Actually, every gambling event is an independent entity, the result of which..." How much he manages to get out depends on how swift someone is with the KITN.

The other day I saw someone take their headphones out specifically to do this...

Two people left within the next orbit, but hey, at least Mr. Tablet McWhatsTheAction got to show everyone how ****ing smart he is, before promptly getting felted after tanking for 4 minutes on the river and trying to play level 82 poker against a 55 year old lady.

Would have loved the chance to felt him again with a huge cooler and do a blatant hit and run. Unfortunately I was card dead for an hour then had to go

The (bad) strategy talk at a table is one of the most tilting things ever. From another (the pet peeves) thread:

The painful strategy (and rules) talk from "experts" who feel the need to prove how much they know to the whole table (it's usually at least 3 or 4 people at a full ring low stakes table). it's a surefire way to tell that they are just a really bad reg. The quickest way in fact:

and:

Someone that seems (claims?) to know how to play ABC, but really can't, and still is way too loose preflop who criticizes your play.

I back-raise jammed to isolate a 4bb shove with a bounty in a multiway limped pot with 78s and the others' folded and I won.

They all tutted and rolled their eyes and made a ton of comments.

One player - "I folded 8s!"

Me - "LOL, no way"

"I did!"

Also the next morning I had to deal with a self-proclaimed expert on my direct left who had 2 friends playing in their first ever poker tournament and they were clearly looking up to him as some sort of mentor. I felt bad for them actually because they clearly thought he was good and were looking for some advice, but he was godawful.

Flatting a raise with QTs off of 9bb then folding to a jam, open limping QJo from EP off of like 15bb, etc etc etc. Standard awful tournament plays which he explained to his team.

One of those guys that feels the need to demonstrate how much he knows to prove a point. First thing he did was ask the dealer if the betting line played at The Borgata when he sat down. ****ing LOL.

When I busted (I defended A9ss and check-jammed the K Q 7ss flop only to get snapppppppppppped by 79hh and he held) had to deal with a lot of analysis on my hand from that guy too. I told his friends on the way out to perhaps look to other sources of poker knowledge if they want to get good.

Was this tourney at Borgata? If so, that seems like a very reasonable thing to want to know. If not, and it was asked like a "poker trivia" thing, then all the LOLZ.

Don't keep me in suspense. Does it?

Yep, was at the Borgata. It was asked like a poker trivia thing, after the dealer answered he went on talking about all the casinos he'd been to and that it doesn't play more often than not, etc.

I've no idea why you'd need to know that though, so you can angle with forward motion but not put it over the line or something? It's hardly essential to know imo.

I'd want to know it to avoid being angled. Hardly trivial knowledge IMO

Understood, but I am doing a bad job of articulating. The way the guy was playing it wouldn't make any difference to him if it did or didn't play, it was just a demonstration to others at the table that he was well versed in casino ways.

Guess you have to take my word on that.

I agree. Lots of people put out chips, cut out a bet, then pull chips back. Can't do that if bet line is binding. Or some people if bet line is binding will push chips up to the edge to get your reaction, then you say call, and then they check, or whatever.

EDIT to add: I'm sure he asked in a pompous ass way, I know exactly the obnoxious player type you are describing.

How to avoid being angled by a binding betting line in two easy steps:

1. Remain still until V releases chips/stops moving.

2a. If dealer announces a bet: wait a few seconds before acting

2b. If dealer says nothing: "How much is that?"

Now, V has appeared to make a bet, the dealer has confirmed the bet, and V has been allowed ample time to correct a mistake -- you have done everything possible to protect yourself and built the strongest case you could in the event of a dispute.

It's nice to know the specific rules of your cardroom but usually not feasible to get a full briefing before playing somewhere new. Next best thing is knowing how to protect yourself anywhere.

Best one I've ever heard --

At my local card room, killing some time playing 4/8 LHE. Table has an automatic shuffler.

A young man playing all kinds of marginal hands (as was most of the table, of course) was complaining, "I keep getting rivered. It happens to me in this card room all the time!"

Middle aged guy says, "I know why that happens."

Kid perks up and wants to hear the explanation.

"Because they don't scramble the cards here. I have a photographic memory and I watch the cards come out. The fact they don't scramble is why the cards come out against you."

Kid nods while he takes in this deep analysis.

Nobody else at the table seemed to notice.

If I had a dollar for every time a player asked me to wash the cards...

“Just flopped a straight on the Turn”

As a player is it okay to ask the dealer to stop washing the cards if another player at the table requests a wash every 4-5 hands?

Yup. Ideally the house would already have policies that prevent that.

playing this past weekend a guy makes a call and says "you have a flush?". Opponent says "no a straight". The guy replies "ah, even better." During the awkward silence I feel like he realized a straight is not 'even better'.

Same guy made the comment of "man I can't catch anything... been trying all night". not sure of any other way to soundly confirm you're a fish sir.

There's this lady who's been at my 2/5 table a few times in the last couple of weeks. She asks for a scramble constantly, like 2-3 times per orbit. And when she asks for a scramble, she tells the dealer to make sure to scramble both decks. This slows the game down enough on its own, but she also tanks for every decision, even pre flop.

Every time she gets a bad hand, and it doesn't matter if she won a 2k pot the hand before, she groans really loud, buries her head in her hands, pulls at her hair, then sighs again so every table in the area can hear how bad she's running, and reluctantly folds. Every. Single. Time.

Then when she finally wins a pot she tips $10-15 and berates the dealer for taking so long to give her a hand. I'd request a table change but she is the biggest fish in the world. I've seen her fold two pair on a draw heavy flop because she said she knew he was on a draw. Then she calls down with top pair no kicker with one card to a flush and one card to a straight and two callers in front. I think she has an internal coin that she flips for every decision, because there is literally no logic to it.

"There's a lot of chicken in this chicken." As a player digs into his 1/2 hen and mashed 'tators. GL

There's a raise and a couple cold-calls and I defend J8 in the BB (LHE).
Flop: J92
PFR bets, drunk fish calls, I c/r, both call.
Turn 2
I bet, PFR folds, drunk fish calls
River is something or other, I b/c.

He flips over Q2o along with the best line of the night: "Sometimes I have it."

Throw the dealer a white chip and ask that he or she *not* wash the cards. Make sure the person asking they be washed sees everything.

So, chase the donator away?