Awesome thread!

Borgata High limit room, 5/10 NL tables, about six weeks back. On a busy Saturday night

One Russian Regular (early 30's) had been called by the brush. He put his player card down, and went to get chips (no chip runner for some reason) at the window. And came back with $2k in green chips.

Unfortunately there was a mistake and a player coming off the dinner list got priority to sit down. RR took it well and just waited for the brush to put his name back on the list. 5 Min pass and RR gets called again to an apparently empty seat, but the floor got it wrong again, the player had only just busted out and went to get more money, and his seat was still locked up.

RR is getting pissed, but is taking it well, his name gets put on the top of the list again, 10 mins pass and another seat opens up, but the seat is locked up for a seat change, and the guy changing his seat wants to play his blinds and wait for the button to pass. RR finally gets even more pissed off because a big hand was in play in which about $7K was in the middle by the river, and was taking forever to finish.

RR finally just yells out and walks over to the trash can in the high limit room and DUMPS his rack of $2K in green chips in the TRASH. And walks away swearing in russian. Entire high limit room goes silent, and then bursts out laughing. Floor immediately calls security to guard the trash can because the chips are still technically RR's money.

One of the cleaning guys comes in and fishes all of the chips out of the trash, and they hold the rack for the guy, whom eventually came to his senses and came back to get his money

Cliffs: Russian Regular gets $2k in chips, there are several miscues by the brush and floor, finally has a seat but does not want to wait for a big hand to be finished. Runs out of poker room after throwing his rack of chips in the trash.

I've only seen this happen once in 15 yrs of playing.

Playing 30/60 limit at Bellagio, older man sits down and says he has $1,000 behind coming.

Hand is dealt, he raises pf, is re-raised, he re-raises, pot is capped.

FLOP: Older guy announces "Bet" (remember his chips are coming) and the other guy raises, someone folds, now it is heads up and older guy announces "raise" and then is called.

TURN: Older guy checks, opponent bets, then older guy raises and opponent calls.

RIVER: He checks, the opponent bets, older guy raises, opponent calls.

Older man turns over pair, opponent has a bigger pair. Now here is where the **** gets funny.

The older guy DID NOT HAVE ANY MONEY COMING!!!

HOLY ****. Dealer called the floor, floor called head manager, security comes over and they escort the guy to one of those 'back rooms'.

The rest of us just looked at each other like "holy **** that did not just happen."

5/10 at Borgata, WPT time so LOTS of tourney yum yum's are playing cash games after busting out of the WPT.

Its 5am, two full 5/10 tables, and two short games that can not combine because one guy on our table will not break, and the other table has 6 people (ours had 5) and would have had one person having to go on the list. This usually does not prevent our game from breaking, but one Georgian Gentleman does not want anyone to get left out and refuses to break.

Since GG was the fish at the table (super aggressive with flush draws, staying in with Gut-Shots, calling with bottom pair for big river bets) the table is not really complaining.

Now GG has already re bought twice for 2K apiece, was down to 500 and then sucked out on back to back hands to get back up to about 2500. Playing five handed, me and two other regs are playing a lot of hands, but when GG folds most often than not blinds are chopping.

GG and Young Asian Guy are the blinds, now the hand previously YAG and I had chopped the blinds, which was happening on a fairly regular basis. It folds around to the Small Blind (GG) and he looks at his hand and then asks the Big Blind (YAG) if he chops, now we have been playing short handed for at least an hour, and YAG had just chopped a hand with me right before. YAG jokingly says "no I do not chop" (he had not looked at his hand)

Now GG takes offense to this (not aware that YAG was joking) and then stares YAG down and says "well if you wont chop then I'm all in" Entire table goes "what". Dealer was collecting the muck getting ready to put the cards in the shuffle machine (though still holding onto the deck). Now YAG asks "are you kidding me?" while the entire time GG is repeating "I'm all in, f**k you for not chopping with me, I'm all in"

Verbal declarations are binding at the Borgata, so YAG finally looks at his cards, and keeps asking "are you kidding?" finally he says call. Now we have a blind vs. blind situation for a $5K plus pot. Boards comes out Ace high, monotone, with a rag on the turn and Ace on the river.

Now GG does not want to turn over his hand, table is saying what do you have, dealer is saying backs up, after several minutes GG turns over pocket nines, and YAG turns over Pocket kings FTW (though had to SERIOUSLY sweat the ace on the flop).

Entire table is going nuts, and GG just quietly (for the first time that night, he had been talking crap for the entire time) asks the dealer if YAG has him covered, YAG easily has him covered, and GG walks away, and table goes nuts, still trying to figure out what the F just happened.

Cliffs: Small Blind Vs. Big Blind situation in a cash game, Big Blind jokingly says he does not chop, Small Blind then spite pushes all in pre flop, Big Blind wakes up to Kings, calls, and a $5K pot and hilarity ensue.

Playing 30/60 Limit at Bellagio, have about $4K in front of me and am racking up to leave.

Mr. Tilt gets dealt AAs and raises, super loose guy calls him with 9 3 offsuit (he graduated in '93 and its his favorite bs hand).

FLOP comes 9 3 X.

Mr. Tilt bets, SLG raises, Mr. Tilt re-raises, and it goes back and forth raises until the river.

By then, about $2K is in the pot and Mr. Tilt loses to two pair. He went Nuclear. SLG is laughing his ass off. Now, Mr. Tilt is down to about $2K. Security had to come over but eventually he calms down and sits back down.

It's my last hand, I'm racked up, and look down at the exact same 9 3 that SLG had. So I call. Action gets to Mr. Tilt who raises. I just call him.

FLOP. 3 3 3

We bet back and forth raises and re-raises.

Turn K

Here, again, we bet raise back and forth until its heads up while I hollywood about my AK not being good.

River is a blank

We bet raise back and forth until he is all in.

He turns over pocket Kings for top full house, I turn over 9 3 offsuit for the quads.

He freaking blew up. Cussing and SCREAMING SCREAMING. Meanwhile the table is going nuts, everyone is laughing so hard they are turning purple. Security had to haul him out literally kicking and screaming.

I drive to Austin to hangout with a friend. After driving for 3 or 4 hours, then staying up practically all night talking with my friend, and running around all day the next day, 2am rolls around and I'm utterly and totally exhausted, when we decide to go to a private game and play some poker.

The game is omaha/8, and I can't remember what the limits are... maybe 5/10? And there is a button you can take that indicates you'd like to play higher stakes; if it should happen that preflop only people with the button are involved, the stakes automatically double for the rest of that hand.

I'm super tired, but I'm no spoil sport. I agree to play for a few minutes. Just a few minutes. And then I'm going to go sit in that nice comfy chair and relax, maybe even doze off, while my friend sleeps. And give me one of those double-buttons please!

I don't remember a single hand, so it gets really anti-climactic now, but I scooped a couple multi-way hands, and almost immediately won an astounding $1000 from this relatively small game. And then I look down at my next hand, and think I've got xxQQ, but do a double take just in case - because mistaking 9s for Qs is my own personal "I'm too tired to play, and I know it; sorry I've got to quit RIGHT NOW" warning - and sure enough, what I actually had was xx9Q. So I fold that hand, then sit out, move to the chair.

If I was not such a big mean looking mother****er, I think more than one person would have given me some **** about it. As it was, I got some very nasty looks, and with my eyes half-closed, I heard some people pester my friend about "your friend is going to come back into the game with my money, right?!" But what are you gonna do? If I had lost my $200 buy-in in the same amount of time, I would still be sitting in the chair resting at that moment.

Not very funny. Darn. I'm desperate to think of funny casino stories, and this was the best I could do at the moment. How pathetic.

If it makes it any better, two other 2+2 regulars that I know if were in the game: one was the friend who I was visiting and who got me into the game, the other is... well, I won't say his name, in case he doesn't want to be outed for playing underground games and for living in Austin... But later, after running into him at several games around Austin, my friend would learn that he is an old regular here. Maybe he'll comment itt and identify himself?? Coming out can be a Big moment, so I won't push; I'll let him pick the time and place, if he wants to do it. lol

Super quick story.

A friend of mine entered an Omaha Pot-limit tournament. He became chip leader in the first two hours and was crushing the game. Then, he got into a super big hand with another chip leader. At the conclusion of the hand, he turns his cards over and says, "Well, I got the nut low."

Everyone just looks at him. The Dealer says, "Sir, this is an Omaha Hi tournament NOT an Omaha Hi/Lo tourney."

So he played for two hours thinking it was a Omaha Hi-Lo tourney and never paid attention to the hands (he likes to read magazines between hands). Plus, during all his hands he never showed down or he had the nut hi in hands that didn't have a Low.

Here's one I posted back in March of 2006, but I think it bears repeating:

This makes 0 sense to me how does somebody play without chips

It's obvious you've never played in a casino.

This happens all the time. They call your name on the board and you walk to the table. You pull out $1000 (or whatever) and give it to the chip runner and then you sit down.

The chip runner goes to the cage or their station (which can be on the other side of the poker floor) to change your money into chips.

Meanwhile, you sit down and the dealer asks you how much you have behind, you tell them, the dealer deals you cards and you play without chips until your chips arrive. Normally, chips arrive within a minute or so.

This is EXTREMELY common.

But in this case, procedure wasn't followed. Normally, you are supposed to place the money on the table, chip runner then counts it out on the table, then takes the money and makes chips.

However, the guy just sat down and said he has a thousand behind coming from one of the chip runners. This is a little unusual but it does happen and is no big deal because no one would be stupid enough to do that without chips coming. But apparently this guy was.

I posted this awhile ago in a thread nobody responded to so either it wasn't really worth it or it was before its time...:

Its a Sunday tournament at Foxwoods. Theres been a few table breakdowns and disbursements and I am sent to a new table.

We start asking the dealer some questions as he is going through his routine. He pushes a pot to the winner. He clears the table of cards and puts them in the auto shuffler. He takes out the new deck. And all the while is answering our questions. He burns a card and deals the flop.

He looks at me and says "I need a big blind". I look down and realize I don't have any cards. Sh*t I think, I've got to forfeit my big blind because I wasn't following the action and protecting what would have been my hand.

Then I glance around and realize nobody has been dealt any cards. The guy two to my right says "I've got two Jacks, I'm all in". I immediately respond "I've got Aces". Then I look at the flop. JJ6.

Once again my Aces get cracked. I can't even blame the dealer (who, by the way, is sheepishly pulling in the flop and shuffling the cards, with his head down...)

I'm actually a semi-regular at foxwoods and mohegan sun on the east coast, so don't make assumptions just because we don't have weird rules which results in people being allowed to play hands with no chips...

I just don't understand how someone was able to play a hand with no chips. That seems a bit ridiculous... what does the dealer do, just re-construct the pot/rake after the guy gets his chips? Or does he take the rake out of the one player who is putting chips into the pot? Even if this person was allowed to play with no chips, if he had used a chip runner wouldn't he have given the chip runner the money in front of the table? Just seems a bit weird to me...

Edit - F-woods and MS don't use chip runners, so we don't have these weird situations lol

Usually the dealer will make somewhat of a sidepot to indicate how much is owed by the new player. Ex: Raise to $10, and 4 callers, including new guy. The dealer will rake the bets into the pot, and put $10 to the side a bit, to know that the new guy owes $10.

Yeah we don't have runners at FW or MS, but most LV and Cali rooms do.

Ok cool

Well, in Vegas and CA, they are big into chip runners as to not slow the game (versus the dealer having to change cash into chips).

What normally happens is that the dealer will take chips out of the pot and set them in front of the 'chipless' player.

When the chips arrive, the player then just matches the chips and problem solved.

Another thing that happens is that another player will just give someone a stack to play with and then when the chips arrive the chipless player reimburses the other player.

It's very very common here. But like I said, in 15 yrs of playing i've only seen it abused once. And when it happened, you should have seen our faces. It was unbelieveable because NO ONE would ever think of doing that.

Which in a way made it easy for him to do.

ps- sorry about the snark comment

Typically the dealer will keep track of the amount called or bet by the player with no chips (PWNC), by keeping that amount in front of that player (like a side pot). If PWNC wins, then it doesn't matter. If the PWNC loses then the dealer will announce how much PWNC owes to the winner, and then ships the "side pot" as well. I have seen the PWNC go all-in and have to re-buy from the chip runner when his chips arrive (and then depart).

Not if the player went up to a chip runner, gave them money, and pointed to their seat at the table. Which I have seen happen in the limited times I have played in rooms with chip runners.

Werd, that makes a lot more sense... I can't imagine what that guy was thinking! Even if he won the pot he would have been discovered hahaha what a moron!

Not at all... say he was dealt AA on the first hand and wins a massive $1000 pot. He can just rack up and leave right away. Nobody would know unless they specifically went to find the "card runner."

He probably played any two cards he was dealt and was hoping for a miracle to win the pot... I think he would have gotten away with a lot of money if he had actually won the hand.

Great Thread

It's pretty funny when you're not PWNC, but you feel like a total ****ing idiot when that's you. I once sat down at a 4/8 table and bought in for $100, my friends gave me **** about buying in short, but I pooh-poohed them. Of course, I'm dealt KK, turn a set, and lose $60 on my first hand dealt while I'm the PWNC, and I had to sheepishly call for another $100 while everyone at the table gave me the non-verbal lols.

I actually joined twoplustwo so i could post this story. I was playing at the MGM 1-2 no limit during the wsop main event. I got there mid-day and to my pleasure/disgust i was seated between two drunk canadians who had just flown in a few hours earlier for the fights that weekend. They couldnt check into their rooms until 3pm. SO they decided to sit down at a 1-2 and get completely hammered. As soon as i sat down the guy to my right (muscle man) gets a warning from the floor and gets cut off. So he informs me that he is not drunk and tells me to order a couple beers for him. "first mistake" When the beers show up he slams one and hides the other one and has me order him two more. Everytime the waitress comes we repaet this process. He is spewing chips off and actually gave me my $ back one time when he sucked out on me. So i dont mind getting him beer. A beautiful asian woman joins the table in the 9 seat. He begins to make racist and dirty remarks towards her. The dealer (an older gentleman) tried to stick up for her as he called the floor. Muscle man and his buddy proceed to tell the dealer they are gonna fu&% him up, and that they will follow him when he gets off and so on. The woman leaves the table and the two idiots are given their final warning. they calm down for a bit until muscle man gets stacked twice two hands in a row by his buddy. He tries to pick a fight with his friend and then another guy at the table and now fianlly the dealer. (poor old guy) The floor shows up and calls security, muscle man takes a swing at his buddy and misses. As security is grabbing him he leans over and spits a humongous loogie in the face of the dealer. It was unreal. They were permanently removed form the mgm before they even got to check in. This was the first day of my first trip to vegas lol needless to say i tried to stay away from drunk canuks for the rest of the trip...

I was managing the room at the Horseshoe in Tunica one night and a young kid takesa a bad beat holding 2 aces. He crumples them up and puts them in the rake hole from the 5 seat, then leaves.

One I'll always remember. The first time I was in Vegas I was sitting at Binion's (having just finished a tournament there, which was worth the time... and the smell... simply because I got to sit at the ole' "final table" and that was pretty neat) just messing around at 2-4 or something and suddenly this guy runs SCREAMING across the room. I mean, literally bat **** crazy screaming... in his boxer shorts. Trailing behind him is the security guard (the guy had thrown his pants in the guard's face, to temporarily distract him I guess). Finally they throw him out.

I turn to the dealer and go "well, that's weird."

The dealer goes "nah, that guy does stuff like that all the time."

And I go "what? Why doesn't the casino ban him?"

Dealer: "We can't, he's one of our best customers."

That story just jogged my memory.

Playing in Albuquerque NM about 10 years ago. Playing 4/8 Limit. This sorta slutty looking older woman with a lot of mileage (she was 35 but looked like she was 45) busts out. She gets up and says "Hold my seat, I'll be back. As she leaves, this one old crusty guy says, "Yeah, Ruth's probably out in the parking lot right now giving blowjobs for 50 bucks."

About 15 minutes goes by and she comes back to the table with $50. The guy says, "You're knees getting sore yet Ruth"

She looks him square in the eye and says, "F**K you Jerry"

A few hands go by and she busts out again. She gets up and says, "Hold my seat"

Fifteen minutes goes by and this guy sits down at our table and says, "Some broad outside offered to blow me for $50"

The dealer signals the floor man over and whispers something like "Ruth is at it again"

The floor person speaks into his walkie talkie for security to find her and tell her that she's done for the night.

oh man. I just remembered this.

So I'm sitting down at Mandalay, must be about 3 p.m. on a Saturday. This guy is getting the boot for being hammered beyond compare and hitting on some old woman. Okay, whatever, that's that.

So, we're playing, we're playing, and after about an hour suddenly I sniff the smell of sweet sweet whiskey. I look over and the same guy is sitting there. Only he's (no joke) wearing a fake mustache and sunglasses (think Bobby Valentine in his Mets days). And yet, NOBODY there seems to realize that this was the guy who they kicked out just a short while back... until his mustache falls off.

So, now aware of the situation they come and start to cart him out and he goes "no, no, I wanna' tell my friend something" and he's pointing generally at the table, not exactly clear at who. And they won't let him. So eventually he just pipes up "jokes on you" and throws up all over the floor.

That guy ftw. Everytime.

When I read this my first reaction was it must be Route 66 - but then it occurs tome they don't have 4/8 so it must have been Sandia?

AB