Yep, auto-kill the 2 hands and push you the pot.

In all fairness, the other two hands are dead per TDA rules, so the hand is over as soon as the last card is dealt. Nothing Noles could have done would change the outcome. Great story tho. I almost wish V2 was the only one given the penalty.

This is pretty funny. Hate to be the floor guy here. Since the chips were in racks I would think it be very easy to get an accurate count from surveillance and let the guy keep the winnings. Who wouldn't love to take a dinner break and make a couple hundred while you're gone?

IME they are gone for an hour and then when they come back they rack up and leave without playing another hand. I want to strangle them.

Funniest thing yet to happen to me was this past weekend's tourney. Got into a hand vs player In middle position and I'm just to the right of the button. Flop is K93 and I hold 43d. Player raises 600 and I call. Turn is a 5. Nothing happens for a solid 2 minutes. I look up and the dude is staring at me with a death stare. I break eye contact and look back down at my stack. Finally after about another minute, the dealer motions to the player to encourage him to act. He checks, I put out 1200 and he asks me to show if he folds, while holding calling chips. I say, yep I'll show and he declares I have a 9 I fold. I show him my 34d and say, ya know for a minute I thought you were going to ask for my number. He busted up laughing saying he didn't realize it was his action first, but when he did, he didn't want to appear weak by looking away. Dealer chimed in that there are rooms available. And we kept referring each other by terms of endearment when ever we got into hands. Funny and kept the tourney loose.

Ok, hypothetical question (cuz I know everyone likes hypotheticals). What iof it folds to the SB, who is all in with less than a full BB, and the BB is on penalty. If his hand is automatically dead, he can't win a sidepot, so he shouldn't be able to get the extra part of his BB that the SB doesn't cover back. But SB shouldn't be able to win more than he wagered.

I'd think that the SB doubles and the remainder goes back to the BB. Is it considered a side pot if that part of the bet is never called?

Player not in his seat has his hand killed upon completion of the deal, so you were the only one with a hand. Thus you have no option. Now if you got up and abandoned your hand during the deal would now pose a very interesting delema. Even better, if you got up on the first hand, could the second hand ever start?

I don't know if this qualifies, but it impacted me greatly.

I was playing 75-150 stud at the Taj. I was doing very well and this short guy, around 40, was starting to bicker and talk the usual bs because he was losing almost every hand to me. I let him ramble because his chips were still piling up on my side of the table. Finally though, he got vulgar and I called him on it. He proceeded to say very ugly things, how women should only be bent over a table and not be seated at one blah blah blah. A few of the other players jumped in, telling him to watch his mouth. I then made Kings Full to his Aces up which felted him.

He's braver now because he knows he has nothing to lose being told to walk for 24 hours. I asked if he was going to buy more chips or just sit there and whine. Man, this guy went off then. He says vile things before I finally place my headphones on and ignore him. The other players, two of them standing now, call the floor over and he is told to leave the room.

I'm home, watching the national news later that week. Police in NYC have arrested and handcuffed a man and there are cameras everywhere. Turns out, this same guy beat a woman so severely she was hospitalized. He was a big deal on an internet BDSM chat room and this woman had traveled from the Midwest to be his slave. He chained her up and tortured, beat her for hours, left her practically dead.

You should have seen the pictures of this beaten woman. She pressed charges but he beats the rap when he records her calls, telling him she still loved him and wanted to be with him.

I'm sure if you google it hard enough, you will come up with the news clips on this beating. It made national news for months.

I was floored that here I was, alone in AC, arguing with a man that turns out to have no hesitation in viciously beating and almost killing a woman. To this day he has his defenders, including one prominent NYC player, a female, who swears he was the one that was wronged.

Another tidbit from my many years of playing poker:

A woman I knew from the Taj, wealthy, older, lived in Canada, had overheard a dealer asking me if he was invited to a party I was hosting at Gable's that evening, my baby brother's b'day party. She hears this and though I only knew her from playing her, she badgers an invite to the party.

She is older than me and has 30 years on my brother but that doesn't stop her from becoming drunk and mauling him, asking him if he would let her undress him with her teeth. My poor baby brother tried to be kind but it was pure hell for awhile. Finally she left him alone because two old guys could see she had money and started milking her for drinks. She ends up leaving with one of them and a good time was then had by all.

Next day, Saturday, 75-150 stud, in she comes and was very pleasant to me. I really don't think she remembered how badly she behaved and far be it for me to remind her. This woman, however, had a solid history of player/dealer abuse when losing..and she's losing a lot. People just tolerate it because she is such a good donater.

She's in the one seat with a 3 bring in. I am in the 8 seat with rolled 8's. The hand was capped every round. Turns out she had two pair on four, a house on five and quad 3's on six. I have nothing but rolled 8s going to the river. Vinny Whispers made a flush on six and another guy, unknown to me, makes a broadway. I'm hating putting all my chips in because I know I'm beat but I will never lay a rolled hand down until after I see a river, no matter how many chips I have to burn to get there.

So she is chattering like a caged canary on six, asking everyone why they hated their money, yada yada. On the river I get Quadzilla. She was high on the board and bets out, call, call, raise. She reraises and the broadway folds, Vinny calls one more round. I reraise, she calls me a name my mother would never have named me and reraises, talking serious trash the whole time. Vinny finally folds. I reraise and she starts calling me everything but a virgin. I told her, I'm just playing my cards. She raises me a total of 9 times, heads up. I got the final raise in and she is so mad. She says, "If we hadn't had dinner last night, I would still be raising you." Don't threaten me with a good time, I'm thinking.

The dealer didn't drag in our heads up bets, they were all lined up in front of each player. She throws her hand over, calling me an idiot while she does so.
I silently turn over my quads and she loses it. People from the other tables are crowded around while she goes nuts. Vinny looks at the dealer as he goes to move me the pot and says, "Don't drag that money in. She didn't put the last reraise out yet." OMG, you had to be there. She insisted she had put all her bets in but it was plainly evident she still owed the pot the last reraise of 150. She refuses to put the chips in. Floor is called. She is cussing him out, telling him everyone is wrong, she is right. They call for the camera, wait a minute and by then security is at the table, having been called by the floor.

The floor tells her she owes 150 and she refuses to put it in, screaming she wants to see proof, where's the tape! Floor reaches to her stack, puts the 150 in and removes her from the table to continue their conversation.

To this day, she won't even look at me, much less converse. Vinny Whispers, my hero. R.I.P. buddy.

damn. you play poker with absolute animals. Neither that woman or that man would qualify to me as human, 100% animals. and id treat them as such.

ive never experienced people like this at any level my whole lifetime of poker playing. great stories.

Great tales!

Do you think this guy was yelling “I’ll show you a full house!” over and over as he whipped his victim? Talk about a bad beat story.

Holy crap, good stories.

@desire Absolute crazy stories. Given the tone of your stories I'm assuming that you are a woman as well? Either way, glad to hear you're okay. While you were reasonably safe in the casino, things could have went very badly with a disgusting animal like that had he somehow been able to watch for you when you were leaving the premises.

I'm not at all insinuating you did this, but this lends to what i've always said in general about not unnecessarily escalating a situation at a poker table, or trying to look tough at a table just because you're in a reasonably protected environment. A poker table is like a melting pot of society, good and bad, and you just never quite know who exactly is sitting in a game with you. I'm sure many of us would be completely floored if we knew the skeletons that many players carry with them. There's a lot of sick people out there, and that's before you factor in the monetary and competitive nature of the game.

Thank you for the advice.

I wasn't trying to escalate and in fact I let him be more abusive than I should have. I have been playing poker for many years. I haven't been hurt yet. I'm not the type of person that will cower because someone might hurt me later. It's gotten me this far, so I figure I'll just keep on keeping on.

It's a dangerous thing to assume that a woman is easy to push around (or worse.) This is the 21st century, where women are fighter pilots and mixed marital artists (often training with men.) There was a six foot woman in one of my army units who played rugby (something like US football but with no pads) during a three-month visit to Australia as an international student. She wasn't afraid of anybody or anything.

Anyone that has ever played me knows I don't do the damsel-in-distress thing very well. As in never. I've survived a few scary moments in my decades at the tables, but they have never chastened my behavior. I'd rather be dead than be scared.

Playing 1/2 in Vegas a few weeks back. older Asian gentelman to my right keeps nodding off at the table. I have to keep nudging him a couple times when action is on him, and it's getting kind of annoying at this point. Action folds to him, I turn to see he has nodded off again, so I nudge him again. He takes a peek, he quickly opens to $15-20 (I forget but it was a good amount for 1/2). It folds back around to him, and he happily slams his AA face up on the table, so I quip "Literally waking up with Aces!" and that got a few laughs at the table.

Not the funniest story, BUT I wanted to bump this up because I love reading these

In the money in a tournament in Reno, it's heads up on the river. P1 puts in a big bet. P2 tanks for a solid minute, then crawls under the table. Literally, fully under the table. He emerges about 10 seconds later and calls. He shows, P1 mucks.

After some badgering he finally lets out that he wanted to see if P1 was tapping his feet. They were still, so P2 knew he was bluffing.

Player, asking dealer: Do you have any special training for like if someone has a heart attack at the table?

Dealer: Nah, we just yell “seat open!”

That reminds me of a guy who plays in Oklahoma (Choctaw and Winstar), who would always loudly yell 'Player down' anytime someone got eliminated at his table. Floor tried to get him to stop. They said, in their terminology, that 'Player down' meant a medical emergency. Since no one ever responded when he yelled it, I think they were just trying to get him to stop yelling.

It was a race to see who would yell it when he got eliminated.

lol

mark this down as one of the most douche-ness things I've seen.

Playing 1/2nl and a guy sits down wearing gold framed aviators, gold headphones, and a cig hanging out of his mouth (Sammy Vahar style).. plays for about an hour or two, chips up a little but nothing major and didn't say one word.. literally not one sound from this guys mouth.

He then gets up and sends his GF over (1/2 limit reg) to rack up his chips.. like he was too good to rack his own chips and cash them out. it was funny due to the level of douche bag it was/looked.

I took special pleasure ck/calling with my AK on a Ace high board on all three streets. hope to see the 'cool' guy again sometime.

Farha

so close..

400 pound guy punched in the stomach by a tiny little dame during an argument, lady's husband is apologizing all to hell for it, she's more than a little tipsy, but house man gives her a standing ovation, no harm no foul, guy never lived it down

Playing PLO late one night. I folded and am not in the hand, so wasn't paying too much attention, but there is a raise in late position, the button calls, and the straddler calls. The flop comes out and there is a bet and both players calls. On the turn it is checked to the preflop raiser again, who bets. At this time the big blind, who has nodded off, wakes up, the button calls, the big blind looks at the board and mucks his cards. He had nodded off preflop, never called the raise pre or called the bet on the flop and just woke up on the turn and folded in turn and no one said anything.

Apparently neither the dealer or any of the players in the pot realized what had happened or they didn't say anything if they did.