Great stories, Fizzbin! From what I've heard, The Duke usually buys in for like $15k+.

This was funny from Aria 2/5 yesterday, not epic, but pretty funny.

Table is playing fairly boring and passive midday, when this crazy looking older white lady sits down and starts wildly splashing chips around. Well, apparently she's a reg, because she got scolded by the floor for some off color comments. Anyway, she's in a big pot with an Asian LAGish player, she lays out a big river bet, oddly stacked chips in no particular fashion and tells the dealer "you can count it if you want" and LAG tanks. She instantly picks up a copy of Bluff magazine and starts reading. She glances over top the magazine at the tanking player and says, "Let me know when you're ready to play cards again, ok!!" I nearly died laughing. He calls and loses to her middle pair! He proceeds to tilt hard from this and she does it again to him in the very next orbit!

Funny stuff.

I apologize for this long winded story but it was just a weird night. And it pales in comparison to the incredible stories in this thread ...

I have a 24 hour business trip from SF Bay Area to Los Angeles; fly in in the morning, lunch meeting, big Industry dinner, get up the next morning and fly home. I've heard about the big card rooms in LA and I'm fired-up to hit one of the clubs after dinner. Some big guys in my Industry are on the same flight to LA; we're chatting it up, talking shop, etc. we land in LA and I go to the car rental desk. There's no reason to rent a car, we're doing our event at a hotel/convention center. These guys go nuts, say "Oh, so you're getting laid tonight, hooker or "friend" ? I say "no no no, nothing like that". They all high five and say "we got the goods on you". After the big dinner, I sprint into the lobby and go to valet to get my rental car. The 4 guys bring 5 other guys and give me a standing ovation and ask if my friend has a friend. I tell them to get a life, I get my rental car and start driving to Commerce.

I walk in and see an area with "1 - 2 No Limit" hand-written on a white board, I see a bunch of 20-something Asian kids dressed like skateboarders playing. I ask for a seat and pull $200 out of my pocket. The nice woman says "Uhhh, this is $100-$200 NL, I think you have the wrong area". I walk back to the rail and see these kids with $10k + in front of them. I'm like WTF ? The nice women walks me over to the $1 - $2 NL area

I was very new to poker and had never played no limit. I was nervous. The guy at the desk was very nice I was immediately seated.

I start hitting hands like crazy. I get dealt KK, I raise to $25, get a call from an angry middle eastern guy. The flop comes out rag-rag-rag rainbow. I bet all-in, angry guy calls, I win, he has nothing and starts yelling at me, telling me he's gonna bust me. He peels $200 of a HUGE roll and says "CHIPS!". A couple regulars look at me, look at him and roll their eyes and say "He's up to his old tricks". A couple hands later I get big slick, flop hits Ace-rag-rag rainbow, I go all-in, angry guy calls, loses, peels another $200, and re-loads and yells at me again. Couple hands later I flop a set of 9's, same thing. The floor manager comes over and says "you get one more re-buy Abdul, then you're done for the night". The guy starts cursing out the floor manager, Manager smiles and walks away. The regulars were nice, we're chatting, I'm nursing my big stack, having a blast, I look at my watch it's 3am. I'm bummed, I coulda played for 5 more hours. I get dealt a pair of 9's, I raise to $25, Abdul calls. Flop 10-rag-rag. I check, he goes all-in, I go in the tank. I fold, he turns over 2 crap cards and starts berating me, yelling "I had NOTHING you are FOOL !" ... the next hand he goes all-in, another guy takes him out, he starts yelling for more chips, floor manager tells him his night is over, go home. I get out of my chair and the guy is yelling "oh so NOW you leave, you are CRAP ..." I say to him "good bet, I folded a big pair, he yells "F%$K YOU!" Security is walking to him to make him leave, I get out of there with my biggest score in my young career and drive back to the hotel.

I fly home the next morning with the same 4 guys, I tell them I rented a car because I wanted to play poker at one of the big LA card rooms, they all go "Poker...YEAH RIGHT !"

^good story

Strangest part of that story is that floor wouldn't let him continue to buy in. Didn't sound like he was being that unruly. If I was at that table, I'd be pissed.

I was playing in a low buyin tournament at a bar and a guy at the table next to mine had a seizure. A couple of guys helped him to the floor and continued playing, after a minute or two the guy came out of it and sat back at the table and started playing again.

I guess it happened every so often and no one even really thought twice about it.

That's a tell

I saw a guy get cut-off after about 5 rebuys at a Bay Area club and I asked the floor manager why and she said "When players lose all their money, that's bad for business, we discourage that"

How do they know how much money a player has?

The strangest thing about that story is being able to buy in for $200 in a 1/2 NL game at Commerce. Thought the 1/2 was a $40 buyin game there.

The Commerce is a strange (kinda awful) place. I remember the one time I went there and told whoever was running the board that I wanted to play 2-5 and they directed me to a $200 max buyin game I was dumbfounded. Also dumbfounded by nearly everything else I saw there.

Sat in a 1/3 game on vacation in July, instantly double up within 3 hands against an old guy who shoves river to my 2nd nuts. He reloads right away and probably put 1200 on the table during my session.

Young kid buys in for $100 bucks and promptly loses 25 to me after I cbet heads up. I lose a decent sized pot to an oldie who rivers a gutshot so I get up for a smoke. I come back and young shortstack is dragging a pot from the old guy who doubled me up while talking mad ****. "Dude you ****ing suck. Hope you have more money for me. See that empty table over there?? Want to play heads up???"

The old guy didn't say a word and the dealer didn't say anything as nobody was really taking this kid seriously, but the only time I've seen a hu4rollz offer in a casino.

Wasn't funny for me, but im sure anyone who saw thought it was hilarious.

I was playing a wsopc ring event at ceasars palace last year and was crushing early on and thought I was cool with a big stack, prob top 5 out of 90. Im acting all cool not talking to anyone and thinking im the **** when floor comes over and tells me im getting moved to another table cuz im the BB.

I rack up my pile and start to follow him over to my new table. Well my foot got caught up on my other foot when I tried to squeeze between two chairs and since my hands were full, I hit the ground hard and chips went EVERYWHERE. The whole room stood up to look at me and needless to say I was quite embarrassed as I had to crawl around between people laughing at me to pick up all my chips.

I didn't get a whole lot of respect at my new table needless to say.

I lol'd at this, but only a little bit because I know my day is coming when I'm carrying 6 racks of tourney chips back to the podium and.....

i finally read this entire 8 page thread. took me 2 full days at work of doing absolutely nothing but reading this, post by post of each page. this has been great and i love all these stories!

I was wondering why there was no TP in the ****ter.

Bout 5:30 in the am, thinking of finishing up a marathon session when a freaky young dude/fish sits down. I decide to stay another hour. Kid is crazy hyper in a scary way. After about 30 minutes and 2 or 3 pots together he starts telling everyone at the table how I'm freaking him out by the way I'm looking at him.

My eyes probably looked like two piss holes in the snow from being dead tired, but this kid was scary crazy. At one point he offered the dealer some of his aderall to help with her headache. He went on for about 10 minutes about how I was freaking him out before I finally decided to go home and fall into bed. Seriously wouldn't be surprised to read about him in the news some day for some heinous crime.

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Scary funny.

This would be amazing to see.

This happened to me several years ago in LV. It was around midnight and I had just busted out of an MTT (think it was a Venetian or Aria 125), and wanted to just drink and play laggy poker, so I hopped into the cheap midnight Monte Carlo donkament. I then proceeded to follow through with my plan and ordered several drinks, talked it up with other players, and went into maniac/LAG mode since most everyone in the tourney was inexperienced at poker. I was having a blast pushing everyone around with my growing stack. Almost all of my pots were won without showdown.

The guy to my left was semi-competent and started getting very frustrated at my style of play and said he was determined to take my chips. His chance then arrived.

V was a mid 20s looking business guy. He kept his cool for the most part up until his comment about taking my chips, after I bullied him out of a pot for the umpteenth time. I don't remember stacks, but I had about 2-3x V's stack. V was prob 2nd or 3rd chip stack.

I was in CO with 74xx and raised (of course). V was to my left & reraised and I called. Board came out 774. I donked out, he raises, I reraised and we got it in. You know how it goes... He turned over AA and proceeds to throw an absolute tantrum, stands up and starts yelling at me for being such a terrible player (he was so angry I thought he was going to hit me). His outburst caught everyone by surprise and the dealer was staring at him instead of running the cards.

Then the guy just bolted out of the room in a run. He was so upset that he left. The floor tried to stop the guy, but it was too late and they couldn't find him.

The dealer ran the cards and an A hit on the river. He won the hand and the chips were shipped to his seat and he was either the chip leader or a close second to me (I don't remember). The guy never returned to the table and his chips were blinded down and lasted all the way until the bubble.

OK, now that's funny!!

How does this not count as a fold? He abandoned his hand.

You can't fold when all-in in a tournament.

HAHAHAHAHA. This reminds me of a story that happened away from the poker table.

In class, there is a loud BANG from outside. The professor rushes over to the window and declares to the class "Oh my God, someone just crashed into the side of the building!"

A few beats of silence pass and then the professor says, "Nah, I'm only kidding - I don't believe in God. But someone had a pretty bad accident."

I'm glad this thread got bumped because I saw some funny stuff the other day at The Orleans.

I've heard of live nits, but I never knew this existed until this day... I present to you the 'knittiest' player ever!