if this is true, you need to go back to an American Civics class. or an American Geography class

Not me man. I was dumbfounded that no one took issue with it. I almost spoke up, but then questioned whether or not I should tap on their Life Glass.

I just remembered this:

One time at a 1/2 table, two guys are involved in a fairly large pot. An Asian guy (AG) [made reference to his race due to the language part of the story] has made a large bet on the turn or river. The other player tanks and is thinking out loud at times. He then asks the AG, "Why such a a big bet", and AG responds "So you don't suck me out". The guy folds. I start laughing because of what AG said.

AG the turns over K,K, which was an overpair to the board. He then says something like "see, see, I know you have Ace and were going to suck me out". Still laughing, I say "I think you mean suck out on me, not suck me out". Several other guys were laughing now too, and I don't think the Asian guy understood what he had actually said and why we were laughing. He was a good sport though and was not bothered.

I can't let this thread die, so I'll add my own stories...

Few years ago playing 3/6 limit at local indian casino... I was out of the hand but like 5 people saw a hand to the river with one person betting and everyone else calling. Board came TQKJK rainbow. When the second king hit the river this middle aged guy in the hand yelled 'AWWW ****!!' out of the blue. It was bet and raised by the time it got to him and he proclaims "Well I gotta see it now" and calls 2 bets and the action ends up capped and he called. Three or four people showed Ax to chop the pot with a straight and he proudly turned his Q7o up for everyone to see his bad luck.

Same casino 3/6 limit game like a day or two after the previous hand. Middle aged woman calls a raise preflop in position and checks down a TxxTx board. Shows pocket tens for a flopped set and turned quads that she never bet once. Someone made a comment and she said 'no way anyone could have called me so why bet'.

Same casino, same 3/6 game different night. Somehow only 2 players see a limped flop that gets checked down, after rake there was $3 in the pot. This young guy tables like JT or something for jack high and this old miserable guy who was a semi-regular probably in his late 70s showed one card an ace, says 'ace high' and tosses his other card in the muck. The dealer says 'you can't win with only one card your hand is dead'. The guy goes ballistic, calling the dealer names, grabs the muck to try and find his other card, etc and the floor gets called. By now the old guy had found the 4 or whatever he said he had with the ace and was saying the pot should be his, but the floor backed the dealer's ruling and basically said 'let it be a $3 lesson to you'. The old guy pegged his A4 off the dealer's chest for which he got a warning. The other guy was just sitting there quietly saying 'really its ok, its $3 and he did have the best hand...' The floor says he can do what he wants with the chips, but the pot is his. The young guy says basically 'relax, its ok here ya go' and tosses the $3 to the old guy. The old guy flips out entirely, starts making this gutteral animal like howl/roar and spins around and throws the 3 chips as far as he can. He was probably 125 lbs at most and frail and the chips only went about 15 feet before they came to rest under some big stuffed couch bench things and a coffee table. The floor was right there and said 'Pick them up NOW or I ban you for life." So the entire table stopped playing while we watched this 75+ year old man crawl around on his belly trying to reach all three chips.

The guy probably should have been thrown out but he probably dropped 300-400 at the 3/6 game so we didn't care too much.


Another time at the 3/6 game (back then they hardly ever spread NL) it was heads up on the river between the 8 and 9 seats. Seat 8 bets, and seat 9 sits for a few seconds. I guess seat 8 thought he got called as he said loudly and clearly '2 pair' and turned his hand face up practically in front of seat 9's chipstack. Seat 9 said "Hey, I didn't call yet" and Seat 8 flipped his hand back over sheepishly. Seat 9 sat there another 15 seconds before..."Call". Seat 8 again turns over his hand and says... two... pair?? And the other guys says "Nice hand" and mucks.

Random August weekday playing 1/2 NL at the Borgata

Tight reg sits down in the open seat next to me. Thick-rimmed shades, windbreaker, Borgata hat; typical looking Borgata reg. But, he's got a propped up notecard sitting behind his chips which reads verbatum:
-"Do not tilt"
-"Be patient"
-"You can do it"

As he proceeds to fold every hand, he seems to mutter to himself under his breath, seemingly reassuring himself while repeating the contents of the notecard in front of him. He finally gets into a hand and makes a standard $12 raise after a limper and gets a caller on the BTN and the original limper. Flop is all low rags and he proceeds to c-bet $10 into the pot of $35 or so. The most aggressive guy at the table, sitting on the button, minraises to $20, UTG calls, and this guy proceeds to have an emotional breakdown over having to put another $10 into the now $90 pot. His muttering includes.
-"Every f*ck*ng time"
-"How can they keep doing this to me?"

And a very drawn out
-"Whyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!"

He eventually folds and watches the two other guys check it down with missed draws. His hands start shaking, but he comes to grips and starts repeating the phrases written on his notecard in repeated succession.

It was a good table, but I just couldn't take anymore and immediately racked up and got up before the impending psychological breakdown

Hahahaha! GREAT STORIES! Thanks!

i'm pretty sure I sat next to this dude on Saturday. The bad beat had just hit next to us so it's possible I might have seen an outburst as well. I only played a rotation before I went to go play PLO.

I don't have any great stories myself. I did once see a drunk kid beg to try to get into the Harrah's AC poker room after getting kicked out. Eventually he yells "Good, I didn't want to be here anyway!" Then he continues to try to get back in, to which management responded "I thought you didn't want to be here." This procedes for 30 minutes before the drunk leaves.

1/2NL at Foxwoods, this weird guy had a lady bug sitting on the back of his wrist. Someone finally says something to him, and he's like yeah I know. He keeps the ladybug on his wrist because he thinks it is good luck or something.

A few minutes later, the ladybug is dead on the felt belly-up. Alcohol poisoning?

5/10 stud my board shows 2 10's and I have another pair with one of my hole cards. Older gent is calling my bets on 4th,5th and 6th street. 7th comes I bet he tanks, looks up at my board, looks at his cards, looks at my board again and calls and says 'Ace high'.

Good story

Playing a donkament at a local Indian casino, guy to my left is just ridiculously drunk and/or on meth. He's sitting there trying to talk to me for a good 10 minutes but I literally can't understand what he's saying. I have about 40bbs on the button him and big blind are around 13. I shove with QQ he calls with ATo flop is 999 turns a 4 he stands up giggling drunk ready to leave turn the river comes 9. He immediately stops laughing and becomes so serious, takes his shades off and says "what goes around comes around, son." a little while later I shove my sb against his bb with TT he flips over jacks. I hit a 10 on the flop, take my glasses(not sun glasses)off dramatically and say "what goes around comes around, son" as he walks away from the table he started crying. I didn't know whether or not to feel bad.

This one is not about a hand, but my total lack of a snappy comeback, which is rare for me.

Showboat AC, maybe 3-4 years ago. Playing small buy-in nightly tournament. I notice a guy in hat and shades at the next table that I think I recognize, but with the shades I am not 100%. He's an actor, but not well-known. He may be a regular in the room for all I know. I ask the dealer if he is indeed who I think. She hasn't heard of him, or the movies I am referring to. So she asks me what is his name. And I tell her, "Brian." So she hollers out "hey Brian!"

He looks around to see who is calling, and I am a bit miffed at the dealer, and now I am on the spot. But he says "ok, you called, what?" Now by the voice I know it's him, but what do I say?

If you have seen any Kevin Smith movies, this is the guy who played Dante in both Clerks movies. He's mostly been in View Askew productions and he lives in Jersey. Not a huge celeb, but recognizable instantly to anyone who has seen those movies. So, I should have said "I thought you weren't even supposed to be here today." Which would have been a mildly funny reference to his character, but somewhat lame, and at this point, I figure all the regs know him and I'll look like an ass. So I set him up perfectly to make me look like a bigger ass than I would have....

I say "where can I get an egg-a-mooby-muffin?" Which is again, only funny to someone who knows the dialogue from the movies.

With perfect comic timing he shoots back "sir you look like you've had enough already." - The room erupts laughing, and I do as well. (I am a big dude, and not in a weightlifter way)

He busted earlier than I did and left fast, or I would have gone over and been all fanboy. It was a great comeback.

[off topic]

Must love your comedians, smackey, Prevent any forest fires lately?

[/ot]

One of my favorite stories goes back a ways at Turning Stone. TS is an 18 and over casino, but it was dry in terms of alcohol on the floor. The way they got around this was to allow people to BRING IN their own beer and wine into many places including the poker room.

My friend and I were playing 1/2 100 max when this guys comes up with a rolling cooler and parks himself in the two seat. I jokingly asked if he was planning for a picnic, and he laughed and opened the cooler to show off what effectively was a bar, with enough Whiskey, rum, and Vodka and ice to load the entire table. he then promptly lost 4 BI while emptying the first bottle himself, an as we left i remember him being halfway through a second. man, I do wonder when his liver gave out.

[QUOTE=MNOWAX;21579031][off topic]

Must love your comedians, smackey, Prevent any forest fires lately?

[/ot]

Yeah man, bears can be MEAN. But a frog is always cool....

OK, so now I posted - another story - I put this in the Hollywood, Grantville PA thread recently.

Sitting at 1/2 nl, 40-200 buyin table. (I know, I know. We're new here in PA.)- Seat on my left opens, wannabe tv-watcher balla sits down, hoodie, shades, etc. Doesn't post on the BUTTON. Watches a whole round to get our tells. Announces after 2 hands to the man on his left: "I am going to bust this table up. You guys are terrible. I play on pokerstars."

That would be enough. But wait, there's more.

He finally is in on the BB. I see he has bought in for the table minimum, $40. The button raises to $10. I fold SB. As I'm folding, the new guy says "what? How do you raise to 10? That's dumb. Isn't this 1/2NL? You should make it $12. I don't get it, what's the bet? You bet stupid."

I'm out of the hand, so I should STFU, but I say "the bet is $10, it's 8 to call. Do you understand?"

He plays that hand, and the next, and is stacked. I can't remember the hands, I was still laughing about the behavior.

I fully expected him to pull out a roll and buyin for $200 then. Nope. He left. Everyone at the table, including the clueless calling station, laughed hard as he passed the exit.

I wish I had gotten his stars screen name.

Playing 1-2 at the Sands in Pa. Young kid heads up against old man. Kid just outta the blue blurted out you suck when he bets into the old man, who picks up a huge pile of chips, slams them into the pot and says" suck on this!"

Playing $1/2NL at Winstar

There is this older gentleman that I have played with before who gets so agitated with people he feels are playing slowly. And I don’t mean those people who we all hate, who think and think and think pre-flop, and then fold. Or those that hollywood on the river acting tortured before shoving all in with the obvious nuts. I’m talking about people who take their time and thoughtfully bet size. Or people who do a bit of mental math before deciding to call with a certain draw, or people who replay a hand in their head before making a tough call or fold on the river.

This guy is the type that immediately looks at his cards and has his chips or cards in hand ready to bet or muck before the UTG has even looked. If anyone hesitates or stops to think he gets annoyed. Frequently he will get up and go get a magazine. He will read while others are playing, but he is always ready when it is his turn. BTW - he calls a ton pre-flop (never gives up his blinds) but usually gives up to aggression on the flop. However, if he gets to the turn against you, he will have the nuts. Somehow he gets paid off every time.

So one night I was the object of his agitation. We were in a hand -- I called his pre-flop raise with AK. The board came AKQr. He led and I called. The turn was a blank and he led and I called. The river also blanked and this time he checked. I now needed to decide how much I want to bet. I put him on an Ace and I wanted to bet for value. So I start thinking what the right amount was to get paid off. I can see Old man getting irritated with me. I make my bet and he quickly folds AQ face up (NLD), saying, “Why are you taking so long?!”

(I only took about 15 seconds deciding my bet size)

“I was trying to find an amount you would call.”

“If you would play faster, I would call,” he said. “I’m an old man, I don’t have many more hands of poker left to play. I’m gonna die before you finish the action.”

He goes on for a few minutes about how slow everyone plays. Finally a guy at the other end of the table says, “Sir, we would like to help you play the maximum number of poker hands possible before you die. We are going to play speed poker.”

For the next 4 orbits everyone bet, checked and folded as fast as humanly possible. People were just throwing chips out, pitching cards, and racing to see how fast we could check around the whole table. UTG – UTG+2 would have folded while the blinds were receiving their second card. People had raising stacks and calling stacks pre-sorted so they could be ready. The dealer got in on it -- making sure he dealt super fast and keep up with the action. The old mad was amused and seemed to lighten up a bit. He started stalling, making grimacing faces while acting like he had a hard decision each time before acting.

Wow. Amazing. I've never heard of such a mismatch between age and maturity. Was his name Benjamin Button?

I was at Caesar's LV during the WSOP playing n one of their double-stack tournaments when an incident happened that wasn't the weirdest or funniest thing ever, but given that I had been up 24 straight hours and the participants involved, I found it strangely funny.

We are down to about 35 players and the big stack was a dude who looked like an effeminate version of Prince (or should I say an even more effeminate version). Anyway, he's rolling the table when his A-K gets called by a short stack with 4-4. He loses the flip and starts berating the guy for putting his tourney on the line with 4's. Then he goes on massive tilt and busts out about 15 minutes later. Normal thing you see all the time, but an Eastern European guy decked out in shades and a "Boss" shirt that looked painted on him was cracking up about the breakdown. "You mental game is bad. Need control" he'd say. Then he said "Why you make fun of table?". Again, not anything strange.

About an hour or so later, we get to the bubble, and to my right is a little old lady who looks just like Granny from the Tweety cartoons. The Bulgarian with the Boss shirt is on the opposite end of the table. The last hand before break, he puts the old lady all-in and she has A-7s to his K-K. She hits a flush on the river and Boss goes ballistic. Calls her a stupid C#nt and then launches into a tirade in his mother tongue with the occasional English curse word. Floor is called over and warns him about English only.

Gay Prince is watching from the rail and says in his best impression "You mental game is bad. Need control" and then growls for effect. Boss gets up and chases the dude out into the sportsbook area where all we could he was Prince screaming as he was running. Boss was given a 30-minute penalty which let him cash in the last spot.

o_O

Playing 1-2 at Foxwoods just grinding it out when a couple guys walking by the table are talking loud about leaving soon but one of them wants to go to the roulette table before they go. I was about to yell out put it on 28 (for no particular reason #28) but before I could, the guy directly to my left yells out "put it on 28!" I am kinda shocked and proceed to tell him I was going to yell out the same exact thing! I'm not sure if he believed me or not but I say to him jokingly after a little bit "dude we should go up stairs and put some money on 28" he says "OK, how much do want to put?" I said "are you serious?" he says "yes, how much?". We finally agreed to put 15 dollars each on #28. We go up stairs see a couple guys that looked like the ones that walked by and drop 30 bucks on # 28....BAM 28 hits for a total of $1050. When we come back the whole table was in disbelief that we actually played 30 and that we actually hit; until we showed the chips...

woulda been awesome if she lost the pot, then ****ed the guy who won to get her money back

lol where did that come from, that seemingly popped out of nowhere

I dunno why you said this wasnt that good. Literally cried from laughing.

Ok, read all 21 beautiful pages and I just have to bump this thread with my story.....

I was at the Hawaiian gardens casino and I wanted to show one of my buddies how to play no limit Holdem. Since this casino has the $20 max buy in, I figured it would be a cheap way to start his game for NL. (yes yes, lol 20 bb NL poker). So any who, maybe about an hour goes by and everyone is nice and friendly, a guy busts out and leaves.....immediately a drunk black guy (he was black, but had a distinguished accent that wasn't anything I could recognize. He sat down, totally blitzed, but didn't order a single drink while playing.

Now here is where it gets fun. Since he is out of it, he was rarely paying attention to when it was his turn, and was usually told by someone when he had to act......UNFORTUNATELY it was the dealer that always had to remind him when it was his turn......and since a large amount of the HG dealers are Asian, they always go, "Sir.....action?". It's at this point here he slowly rises out of his stupor (think three stooges "Niagra falls" episode) and goes in his slurred accent, "You want action?!?!" and would proceed to shove all his chips forward all in. EVERY. TIME. Didn't matter what he had, or what street it was on, pre flop, river....hell, even during dealing!!

I sat in amazement as he caught every card he needed to win. At first I thought it was an act, but I literally watched him just not look at this cards, (and a new damn dealer that we forgot to warn asked him action). And go, "youuus wannnnn acstion?!?" and shove without looking only to flop a flush with 74 suited. It was sick and hilarious. Imagine a table full of old men and two twenty somethings pleading to the new dealer, "for the love of god, do not say the word 'action'!". After they already said it of course. And sometimes the dealers would forget out plea and do it again. Great times and a lot of fun!

Bump

While not as good as this thread there are some very similar stories in this thread, especially a post from Tommy Angelo

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/27...-table-778919/