This also happened last night. I managed to stack the nittiest nit who ever nitted on a blind raise.

Playing 1-2, its 9am and I've been there for 12 hours and this is going to be my last hand. Guy to my right is a 2/5 player, mid 30's WG. I have no idea what he's doing or how he can possibly play 2/5 like this. He quite literally never limped once. Never once completed his SB. Made a few small raises and folded to post flop pressure or took it down on the flop. He was there for probably 4 hours and played maybe 10 hands. He seemed to be a nice guy and was chatting with the table.

I'm down $400 mostly due to the worst player ever in God-mode who managed to go from drawing nearly dead to runner runner in big pots three hands against me. His luck finally ran out and he dumped his $1400 to the rest of the table in about an hour.

I'm sitting on about $400 and the nittiest nit who ever nitted has $300, his starting amount. I'm UTG and do a blind raise to $10. Folds around the table (wtf) to the nit in the BB who makes it $40. I say, "Well now you're going to make me look." I peel two black Aces and say "I guess I have to go all-in then" and shove out my stack. The Nit thinks for about 30 seconds and I can hear the gears turning in his head. He confidently calls.

Board runs out with a QJxxx. He mucks angrily.

I sheepishly say "I feel for you." So now I would feel like a giant douche for doubling up and leaving so plan to stay for a few more orbits.

Then the formerly nice guy Nit starts berating me. Telling me "Come with me to 2-5 and try that hero ****." I let it slide, but he keeps going doing all the talking telling me not to talk to him. I finally have enough and tell him to f himself. He keeps saying lets go to 2-5 right now and I tell him I was planning on leaving after this but didn't feel right doing a hit and run so I'm only staying a few more orbits but next time I see him at 2-5 I'll sit with him. He keeps saying I know you don't want to come to 2-5 with me. Again, I have enough, and tell the Nit "f-you again. And why the hell would I be afraid to play 2-5 with your nitty ass." Racked my chips and left.

lol where are you playing that you can throw f bombs at other players and not get booted?

you're both dbags

Really? I don't consider him a d-bag. He just had a bad moment and handled it very poorly. I guess I did too, but to defend myself, if you have somebody chirping angrily at your for several minutes sitting next to you after you try to defuse it twice how do you react?

It's not like after the hand I did a whooping celebration. I was humble about and showed empathy towards his situation. I even sat there quietly for a good bit letting it slide because I understood why he was unhappy because as poker players we've all been there. It was after I tried for the second time to just say sorry bro and he told me not to talk to him that I said something back.

Yeah I mean, "sorry bro" isn't really appropriate at a poker table -- you shouldn't be sorry, and there's no real reason to interact with somebody you just crushed for a big pot if you're going to continue after them when they ask you to lay off.

"...told me not to talk to him that I said something back" is just so unintuitive and wrong to me -- anything you say in this spot is going to be perceived as needling. Either dummy up and sit there for another couple orbits if you feel weird about winning a big pot and leaving, or maybe next time say you're leaving after this hand as you blind raise?

you just took the guys money, if you want to needle him the most, just get up and leave and tell him you don't feel like being berated. you wanted to leave anyway, yet some reason you stayed.

f bombs aren't going to launch themselves, if they actually happened lol.

atlantic city before they had the diamond things to guard against crap cheats the dice would end up leaning against the wall,so you had to get a ruling from the pit boss or his boss what the number was,well this whale didn't like the call he got so he took all the dice and sent them flying in all directions,yells to his driver to pull up the limo and walks out

early 90s foxwoods guy losing at 10-20 stud takes a break goes to the bathroom..comes out in a stretcher and unfortunately he never played again..rip

oh ya that's when people would blow cigarette smoke in each other faces,bunch of physical fights obv

Ballers gonna ball.

This thread might be the reason I don't kill myself

Let me go ahead and bump this with probably the strangest thing I've ever seen happen in a poker room. Not necessarily the funniest.

This was at the Riviera maybe 6 years ago before they knocked it down. [T]hey had some weekly freerolls, and it was an okay little cardroom. I was broke during this period and I believe they had a $50 minimum at the 1/3 game so that was enough to consistently lure me in.

Playing a 1/3 NL game one night, everything is going pretty standard. Some nice regs playing and chatting it up when this hand takes place..

Short kind of strange looking fellow with long curly hair, a bit reminiscent of "Carrot Top" gets involved in a pot with one of the regs on the other side of the table. He ends up getting it all in on the turn with JJ on A J x x board. They both flip over their cards, and he has his opponent all but done when the AJ is tabled. Carrot Top has a look of satisfaction and victory on his face. The burn card goes into the muck, and it felt like an eternity had passed as the dealer slowly peels off another A on the river.

Carrot Top is in disbelief, and he's slowly sussing out that he has lost this pot. You can see him running through his options in his head.. At this point it becomes clear to me that he's a degen, possibly homeless and he needs this money. He looks like he's about to pick the remaining ~$100 in chips up off of the table and make a run for it. Instead, he thinks the better of it, gets up, walks two seats over to where the dealer is, and begins POUNDING THE DEALERS HEAD in with fist after fist. The dealer faceplants into the chip tray and covers the chips. He's taking the shots like a champ. Muhammad Ali-esque. Now, the 1 seat comes to the rescue! He gets up and puts Carrot Top into a chokehold. He had a good lock in, solid form. Carrot Top starts to fall asleep while we wait for security.

The dealer made no big deal about it, and acted as if it had happened to him before 1,000 times. He was the REAL MVP.

[mod: removed employee name]

I'll label this "the no shame hit and run"

Villain walks into cardroom and sits down at our table and 30 mins later this happens. Hero raises 88 pre to $10, 4 callers. Flop ($50) 456r. Hero bets $30, only V calls. Turn ($110) 4567cc. V checks, Hero bets $75, V calls. River ($260) 4567Tccc. V shoves $50, hero calls and V shows A3cc.

Villain was UTG and now is going to be in BB and tells dealer, "Well after that hand, that's going to be it for me. Nice, quick double up."

As he's racking up his chips, other folks are looking at each other in disbelief, and one guy asks villain, "Just going to hit and run, huh"? and w/o missing a beat or showing any hint of shame Villain says "oh yeah that's it for me".

I actually didn't have a problem as I almost respected what V did instead of the pretense of sitting there for 2-3 orbits autofolding just so it didn't look like a hit and run. I'm not sure if he understood the unwritten rule or not, but it was just hilarious as everyone was staring at him in disbelief that he displayed not a hint of shame as he racked up his chips and headed to the cashier.

LOL

This happened, new table, first hand dealt. Villain flops top and bottom, bets out, reg calls with NFD, reg improves to worse two pair OTT, all the money goes in, villain holds up, takes his 100bb racks and leaves. Reg didn’t even make it back from buying chips in time to see the guy leave.

Years ago I was playing 2/5 and was drinking wayyyy too many scotches at a loose, fishy table, and ended up zoning out badly in the middle of a hand. It was in the wee hours and I had been playing and drinking all day, and built up a big stack. The dealer didn't notice I was in still the hand, nor did any of the other players. (nor did I) Flop comes, action just passes me by and no one notices. Turn comes, same thing. River comes, and somehow the dealer is like "Sir, the action is on you." He had a tone like it wasn't the first time he said it.

I'm slowly fading into consciousness and see a GIANT multiway pot. I look down and see THE NUTS. I look around and the bet would have me calling ALL IN. Sorry to say that I instinctually called and took it down. Slowly, what had happened washed over me and people were like, "How the heck did you call the flop with THAT?!" (I didn't.) I said "just gambling" and racked up and went to sleep. Didn't feel bad until the next morning.

lol that's great

Thought I'd give it a bump with some pre-moneymaker glory days

Growing up I played a lot of poker with classmates in high school

I typically did very well, began considering myself an expert at poker, favorite movie was Rounders - not sure if it had come out yet when this happened

I go to foxwoods on a fake ID, have never even heard of limit holdem before but that's all that's spreading at that point

I'm confused by "limit" and person who puts me on the list helps to explain it - I thought she was explaining the minimum bet (and I was like yeah I know)

I take entire life roll of something like $300 and sit down - forget what the stakes where but I was one of smallest stacks

get dealt AJ, try to go all in preflop because AJ is just one card away from AA right

Dealer explains what's happening, moves all my chips back and leaves in my max raise, it gets raised again, i clarify with dealer how much I can raise and do that

I'm not even looking at the rest of the table, not paying attention to who else is playing, I have a monster and just thinking about all the weed i can buy after I cash out

Flop comes AJx, I again try to shove, dealer patiently explains that I can't, I then think I have the amount down when it gets re-raised to 3bet it but the dealer even paused, asks me if I wanted to call or raise, I'm like "hell yeah I want to raise" and he grabs another chip of mine and putts it in

This would continue on the turn and river, I kept assuming I would be able to go all in at some point and then when I realized it was still in increments, I kept getting the increment wrong

not once did I pay attention to how many people were playing or whatever, I just kept on thinking it was a table of fish and I'd soon have their money

I don't rembember the ending, I could have sworn filled up to boat but could be mistaken, point is I thought I had the nuts, but someone else did. I was in such a shock, I even tried to scoop the pot myself at the end but the dealer had to explain to me the other guy hadn't tabled his hand yet

I try to remember what I was like my first time in a casino whenever I see the people doing dumb ****. I am still fundamentally the same person from 20 years ago, just with less experienced with more unreasonable expectations. So unless someone is angling, I tend to just kind of smile and remember that could have been me. It's tough, I often don't rember until too late. I often consider getting an AJ tattoo as a reminder

I was playing Sunday morning at Horseshoe Southern Indiana and there was a guy in a suit. Turns out he had gotten married Saturday and he was supposed to meet his wife for breakfast, but was still at the tables. Some very angry men showed up around 1:00 and took him away. Must have been a fun wedding night

must be a nit and folded

Playing 2/5 NL. Biggest fish in casino (maybe the state) is at my game. Newly formed 5/10 NL starts a few tables over. Someone from 5/10 tries invite fish to bigger game. Fish says no thanks, but 5/10 player is persistent.

After about a minute of 5/10 guy asking, he switched tactics to bribery. "How much will it take for you to come sit with us? 50 a man?" (He proudly volunteered the rest of the table to help)

Fish looks over at table, thinks for a minute and says " Sure. Go collect the chips"
5/10 guy takes off running and the table eagerly gives 5/10 guy 50 each for the fish to come join.

Fish leans over to me and says "watch this"
He takes the chips puts them in with his chips and sits st 5/10. He gets dealt one hand after sitting with them, racks up and leaves.

I love this. Hopefully these guys learn a lesson regarding blatantly predatory behavior.

Fish are not our personal ATMs.

lol thats a good one. taught those bumhunting nits at 5/10 a lesson. financially, which is the one that hurts them the most.

Ban IMO

Ban who?

And for what?


--klez

calm down, he was obv kidding.