I have a kinda odd question, that I signed up just to ask.

How do you think players view a non passing transgender woman at the table? I usually play in a chill and friendly home game, but would like to play at the casino. Obviously I'll get ****, that's just life, but do you think I'll get extra action? I don't expect people to softplay me like they do with cis women, but maybe they'll tilt more when I beat them? Anyone have any experience?

My guess is people may stereotype you as too passive like a lot of female players are, until proven otherwise. Maybe some would tilt more if they have a problem with trans folks, I think it's going to be very dependant on what the exact table demographic is. Young white office or retail workers either couldn't care that you're trans or will at least try their hardest to pretend that's the case. I guess Californian games probably wouldn't be an issue.

BTW I don't think women get softplayed a great deal. I'd x/r a nun if I thought it would yield an extra $1 in EV.

They will probably make comments when you get up or if you beat someone in a big pot they might say something mean, but I wouldn't expect anyone to play differently against you.

I've sat at a table w/ trans everybody and have never heard a word of disparagement. Some might be thinking it but have never said anything offensive, or even mentioned it in anyway for that matter. As to soft play and getting tilted that'll depend more on the stakes you play (more at lower limits which is more often the case and less at high stakes where they literally don't care if you're dressed as an elephant or act like one either).

Setting aside that cis is a crock-of-warmed-over-crap, the OP's description of themselves makes it more likely that they will be treated the same as a gay male might expect to see at the table. I've watched frat boys get tilted in New Orleans during Decadence when they lost repeatedly to the gay males at the table. They don't generally seem to be as tilted when losing to a female, even one who is lesbian.

There is no question that some males make certain assumptions about actual women at the table, I cannot recall an instance where I (or others at tables where I was seated) were 'soft played' in the casino environment, certainly not at cheeseburger stakes.

If the table has enough drunks at it, I would also expect someone to start in with some Aerosmith lyrics...

I have never played against a non passing transgender so I can't tell you how others treated someone, but I can tell you how I would act. I would only be concerned with how you played and not what you looked like or what your non poker background was.

I think the no reads stereotype of women is that they play ABC and never bluff so their raises get extra respect.

I guess I played with a non-passing trans woman once but she was sitting on my right and I never looked at her. Male name in the bravo but when she got up the guy on my left said "was that a man or a woman" and the dealer chimed in that she was a very nice woman but he had to use her name as it appeared in the bravo. Don't think anyone played her any different or cared but then I'm in the liberal north east

Honestly, I think you'll be treated as any other player at a table.. After all, you're just another player with chips.

Some old-timers may have funny looks.

Played with a non convincing transgender a couple of times at a casino. They made their own table image from playing decently, making good calls and not being a pay off wizard.

No one gave them **** but a guy did refer to them as 'him' a bunch of times which them didn't like very much.


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This question is so general, it's really hard to provide a helpful answer.

What part of the country do you live in? I'm in San Francisco, probably one of the most progressive places in the country in terms of transgender acceptance.

And when you say players, well, there are millions, if not tens of millions, of poker players in the country, so it's really hard to generalize about how they might respond.

Also, other than the fact that you're a non-passing transgender woman, what's your personality and playing style like? That would have a lot to do with how strangers respond to you in a public setting, I'm sure.

I've played many times with someone who I think is a non-passing transgender woman, in a low-stakes Omaha game. She's a fish in that game, but her fishiness doesn't have anything to do with her gender identity. (She's a fish because she plays too many hands and doesn't know when she's beat and needs to fold.) Other players accept her as a regular. I've never heard anyone say anything mean or insulting to her; we want her in the game.

I suspect if you bring a chill and friendly attitude to a casino, you'll get a chill and friendly response from most people. Of course, many gamblers are miserable because they're losing, but that's not really a response to you.

Finally, I'm not sure I agree with your stereotypes about how men react to cis women at the poker table. I don't soft-play women, and I don't tilt more when a woman beats me. Some men might do one or both of those things, but you can't generalize that to all men.

One of the things I like about the poker table is how egalitarian it is. You'll find all ages, all ethnicities, all genders (or gender identities), all sexual orientations, all socioeconomic and educational backgrounds—but we're all accepted because we have something important in common: we all love (or are addicted to) poker. So come in and give it a try.

Good luck.

How so? Seems like a quick easy word for a factual description to me.

Both times I can recall losing a big pot to a girl, I was less tilted than I would have been if it was a guy. Both players were a) really fishy and b) so super happy to finally win a pot, I found it quite endearing once I got past the initial sting.

in la the older asian crowd will probably have some pretty funny **** to say tbh but it's not mean spirited

Hmm yeah I guess location is important. I'm in Michigan. I play a fairly tight, very aggressive style, that tends to get a lot of nitty folds from people, which I like to encourage so I rarely show that I had, say, 6 high when they flash me top pair that they folded on the turn.

The northeast sounds nice, maybe I need to move

Seems to me that there are one of three possible reactions:

1. People stereotype you as a woman poker player, which generally means tight, ABC play, not a lot of bluffs and give you credit when you bet. Of course not all (or even most) women play that way, but it's the stereotype.
2. Someone takes objection to you (either for being trans or any other reason). I'd expect them to react by wanting to bluff you more, wanting to call to crack you more, and wanting to call you down light more, because they'll get some psychological kick from beating you.
3. People don't care and do their own thing. Probably by far most likely.

I've played with a non-passing trans woman once or twice in my game. It's in NYC and a crowd that's mainly in their 20s and 30s, so a pretty liberal crowd. No one gave her a hard time. The only thing I noticed was that, as common when a woman is playing in the game who's not a regular, the table talk (which is usually pretty misogynist/racist/anti-everyone-ist, but in a reasonably funny/good-natured way) was toned down a bit until she left, at which point it got much worse because it was bottled up for a while.

Nothing about this statement is good. This sounds like a horrific group of people to play cards with, let alone be around, or a flash back to 40 or 50 years ago. I don't think there is any way that could be 'funny/good-natured' unless you are really one of those things.

I remember some old saying about the people you hang around with.....

I don't want to put words in his mouth, but it sounds to me like he means that people tell jokes that are edgy and could be perceived as offensive to the pearl-clutching crowd, not that they are bad people. Think Don Rickles.

They might be wondering if you have the balls to pull off a bluff. Don't know if I'm out of line with this joke, if so I'm sorry but I can't help myself.

It's really this. It's an underground game with a small-ish and diverse group of regs. Host is a great guy but definitely has a penchant for shooting his mouth off. If you know him you don't mind, but I have told him before one day a new person is going to punch him in the mouth and everyone is going to shrug and figure it was bound to happen one day.

To each his own though and I'm sure there are people who wouldn't feel comfortable with it, and that would be completely fair. I've been playing with these guys long enough to know they're not bad people.

It seems to me that he is saying the atmosphere is like that all the time at the game. Hence having to 'get it all out' after she left. Occasionally telling one or two jokes in bad taste is one thing, but if the general consensus is to make jokes like this all the time, I think the line is crossed. Regardless, telling 'edgy' racist jokes in a small quaint atmosphere like this usually is a tell tale sign that they indeed feel that way, whether admitted to or not.

BTW - Don Rickles is 90 years old. I highly doubt some of those jokes would go over too well today.

Joan, btw, who gives a crap what the other people think! Play solid poker and the rest will take care of itself. Good luck if you do go to play in a casino.

I don't want to go overboard trying to justify it, because there are a lot of things said that would definitely not be appropriate to say in a public venue, may not be appropriate in a private venue, and would rightfully get you reprimanded in a casino, which is why people tone it down when there's a sense that someone may be uncomfortable. that said, it's a diverse group and the ribbing is all-inclusive.

It's funny - I play in a completely different environment home game, no one says anything racist, homophobic, occasionally someone will say something misogynistic and they get **** for it. For me, it's perfect, if not as profitable as the casino. I don't begrudge anyone their private game, as long as you don't invite me to it or say that **** at the casino!

Joan,

You might want to post in the "Rainbow Flops: The GLBTQ Discussion Thread" found here. There may be some folks active in that thread who can give you answers from a more personal viewpoint.

I have nothing useful to add to the OP's question, but I did want to comment on this.

When I first heard the term "cis" it bugged me, but in retrospect it bothered me more from the context where I first encountered it: it was from one of those stereotype Tumblr activists who blamed every white straight cis male for raping them merely by asking them on a date.

Once I had time to think about it, I came around. It is a very quick shorthand way of making a factual statement. In most settings it is unnecessary (since just statistically, most people are cis), but in some settings (like if you are in a community or bar with a higher than average number of queer/transgender folks), it is helpful information.

FFS I am looking at 2+2 during study breaks from my Gender Studies class and this is the thread I see? Stop thinking it's a problem and it won't be.