Sounds like he's just messing around with you, but I think he got the message after you stopped tipping him though. I'd probably start tipping him again (you could also speak to him away from the table and let him know why you stopped tipping him) and if he annoys you again just stop tipping him for good if you want to. And you're Asian right?

What is your next step, punch him out? I don't get your point.

No, he thinks telling someone to "shut the **** up" is appropriate in any given atmosphere and that it's not psycho at all =P

I think not tipping was a great move here.

Dealer thinks he's funny. Dealer may or may not know that what he thought was funny was actually not funny at all. Further, smart-ass dealer put his own livelihood on the line.

You've sent a clear message at this point. He knows he's not getting tipped by you anymore, and you know he knows it.

Now at this point you can diffuse the situation. Take him aside after his next down, and say, "So I'm pretty sure you've noticed I've been stiffing you. Do you know why?"

In other words - deal with him straight up. Depending on how that conversation goes, maybe you relent, maybe you don't, but you give both yourself and the dealer to settle matters and put the past behind you if you speak to him about it now.

I'm a reg where I play, and have known many dealers for years. We will joke with each other often. But one time a dealer made a joke at my expense that I felt crossed a line. Right after the down, and pulled him asise and told him I thought the comment was inappropriate.

He was surprised and said he felt that because we had known each other it was OK. I explained that if we had been in a different setting, like standing around with a few old timer dealers we knew, then fine. But that it wasnt at a table of players I'm playing against and maintaining a certain image is important. He apologized, and there were no hard feelings.

I think you should just tell the dealer you feel his comments are inappropriate and ask him to stop. If he doesnt see it or argues, remind him he is an employee and you are a customer and it wouldnt be appropriate at any other business either. If it persists, report it to the management the same way you would if an employee at a retail store gave you problems.

That is, in fact, the "manly" or adult way to handle it. The high school way is to rudely tell the guy to STFU. That's not how you fix a business service issue. Withholding tips without first talking to him. Is passive agression and you hope he understands why. Dont make him guess just tell him.no need to sound angry or insulting. Simply politely explain to him that you dont think its appropriate. If he is the type who refuses to stop, management will appreciate knowing it and should fire him. They dont want an employee around alienating customers.

Lol reporting a rude customer service employee to their supervisor isn't "tattling". Are we in elementary school?

If you're just laughing off his jokes, then he probably thinks you're fine with them and it doesn't bother you. For you to take the jokes for months, and then stop tipping him with no explanation, makes you seem like a jerk to him. He might not even know what he did wrong.

You're not in the wrong for choosing not to tip; that's up to you. I think you should've pulled him aside and tell him that you didn't appreciate the jokes, and see what happened. Or even stop laughing about it, and just start saying things like "Hey, my girlfriend left three months ago. You know that. Not cool."

apparently I stay out of the atmospheres where it IS psycho..

I'm not wandering around looking for people to cuss out, but as stated, this dealer would get cussed out. what happens after is up to him.

OP tried a lot from what I read to gently let him know it wasn't appreciated. at what point is it okay to talk to him like the ******* he is in your opinion?

anyway, I'll now out now. passive aggressive is apparently the new standing up for yourself. gl OP

why would you have ever tipped this dick?

Actually, the next glare you get from him from not tipping, just ask in your language: "Are you going to stop teasing me now?" I know he's a jerk and everyone is all about ratting him out or talking to him about it on the side, but really, I see this as a small thing that you can easily address directly and concisely as men. The fact that it's in your language means it's not meant to embarrass you in front of other people. That clearly indicates to me it's meant well, and it's just missing the mark. I was brought up being taught that men insult each other as a sign of affection, but I'm probably a bit older than you. To this day my friends and I just talk crap about each other's clothes, appearance, defects, etc. Who's short, who's fat, who's bald, etc. Esp. over poker.

I wouldn't complain and harm the guy's livelihood unless it's a serious last resort. Just tell him to go f himself in your language and see how it goes.

Or he thinks being a dick to him in a language everyone understands will affect his overall tips.

I was clearly responding to you. Wouldn't make sense otherwise.

I'm obviously late to get back to this, as it was a few days ago and many others have already responded, but now I'm not understanding what your point is. You already stopped tipping him, and seem to think that's the only course of action. If that's the case, then why make the post? You've already got the answer without our help.

Continuing to not tip him is your only course of action if you refuse to go the tell-the-floor route.

Ding ding ding, we have a winner.

why OP even puts that much thought into it is beyond me. He's not your friend, and I wouldn't waste my time trying to find out why he's been a jerk to you; hes just some clown who probably hates what he does and is jealous of what he thinks you might have.

Now, if you wanted to take it a step further and bring the Floor into it, I guess you could do that(I know that I wouldn't because it wouldn't bother me enough); I just dont see the point in wasting time over people who obviously don't like me, and, when someone continuously makes digs at you AND it's apparent that you're not okay with it? THEY DONT CARE ABOUT YOU! They WANT to ruin your day. And, if he started to be nice to me after he realized I wasn't tipping him...I definitely wouldn't start tipping him again. Why, so we can be on "good terms?" I'd rather keep those extra bucks and share it with people who truly respect/like me. Whatever.

i agree with this

As the OP who experienced this first hand, I think the above is what I agree with the most and will stick with doing. I've tried my best to view this objectively and decided this guy is a hater and a douche. The things he said was definitely NOT intended to be a friendly thing. I can tell the difference. I'm a quiet and respectful guy and have never opened the door to those "joking" remarks. He was trying to make me feel bad and he insults me in a foreign language so other players can't see what he was doing.

He will gain satisfaction if I complained to him or the floor about it because he will think that what he said got to me. So I will choose the passive aggressive route and stop tipping him. I think that will piss him off the most and there's nothing he can do about it except fume behind the box. If he jabs at me again I may jokingly call the floor or call him out at the table, but I ain't tipping him. That'll show him who's boss and put this a-hole in his place. I hope I hit the jackpot when he's dealing just so I can stiff him. Ha!

I am disappoint.

ETA I guess at the end of the day who cares and f him, but this just seems weak. Just IMO, since you put it out to the public for comment.

Well, I for one agree with your decision not to tip because only you knew how it went down, how you tried to make things better, and how he insisted and persisted on being this hater. Too bad you didn't try to nip it in the bud, maybe it wouldn't have escalated to what it's become today. You had the perfect opportunity to express yourself because you could've done it in your language where (probably) no one at the table would've been any the wiser. You could've been nice about it, you could've been polite, or you could've chosen the 'stfu' approach. But at least you would've given yourself a chance to really diffuse the situation. But, it's a day late and a dollar short for that now, so.

And lol at people calling: choosing not to tip a real jerk-off as "passive aggressive."

The only part of your post above that I disagree with is, you feel that you're his boss. You're not his boss, you do however have some control over his bottom line(albeit how minuscule it may be on the grand scheme of things) but you're still not his boss. you don't want to tip him ever again because of what he did? Fine, and that's totally understandable. But, and what I'm trying to say is, try not to have these "I hope I hit a jackpot just so I could stiff him..." mindset. It's not who you are(at least it doesn't seem to be) and it just makes you sound like a hater, just like he is to you. No stooping needed, is all.

If It's me, the next time I win a decent pot I hold up a Redbird and say "You'd have gotten this if you didn't always break my balls." and then put it back on my stack.

The 2nd time I win a hand with him I tip as normal and continue to do so unless he does it again.

At the Taj, that would work on 99.9% of the dealers.

At the Borgata, you'd have to hold up a Greenbird($25) to 99.9% of the dealers.

But I like your approach.

The problem is that OP allowed it to drag out too long to the point where it's now this ugly mess, apparently.

I don't see why everyone wants this guy to get back to tipping. Pull him aside, yadda yadda. Sure, if this a dealer you know really well and he pushed the line, fine. Tell him and it's business as usual. OP has no such relationship with this dealer.

If it were me and he made a remark in a language other people don't understand, I'd repeat it out loud in English, "How much did I pay for her (while pointing to the girl with you)? What do you mean?"

The reason it seems passive aggressive to me is that as far as I can tell from the OPs post, he has never once said anything whatsoever to the dealer about the fact that he doesnt find the dealer's comments funny or appropriate or just good natured ball busting. Not one word Instead, he has silently gone along with it, while letting it burn him inside. So after months (years?) of this going on, he just stops tipping without any explanation.

So he expects the dealer to put two and two together, except that the stop of tipping didnt coincide with the start of the comments. Quite the opposite. So the dealer could be wondering what changed in their interactions that caused OP to stop tipping. And the answer is nothing. So IMO OP should still tell the Dealer to stop the comments.

But by the OPs comments about hoping to hit a jackpot and stiff the dealer he shows that his primary interest now isnt in getting the dealer to stop the comments. On the contrary, I think OP really wants the dealer to continue the comments so OP can justify to himself stiffing the dealer and he wants to hit a jackpot to really rub the dealers nose in it. He wants revenge and wants the dealer to feel the pain he has felt all these months or years. Screw fixing the problem--the OP wants to make the dealer suffer as he has!

There's no problem to fix; the dude is a toolbox and he doesn't tip him anymore. Issue resolved.

What's wrong with OP wanting a d-bag to feel pain? I want the same thing just from reading his post.

I'm not religious, but I sure hope there is a hell where all the d-bags from this world can spend eternity.

Fair enough. Thanks for explaining your part.

That's why it's important to nip these things in the bud as soon as they happen regardless of the choice you decide. Letting things steam you up inside is no way to go through life, in or out of the game. And, I have a hunch that OP may actually be more steamed up now because he's mad at himself for not just speaking up, regardless of it being a 'stfu' approach or otherwise.

I've had a few problems here and there with dealers; some of them I went out of my way and took them aside to make sure that they knew where I was coming from because I cared enough about whatever relationship we did have to not want to jeopardize that. And, with some of the other dealers who I thought were bad/unprofessional/rude to begin with, well I didn't even bother to have a one-on-one with because they weren't worth my time to begin with. So, for them, I try to get my point across right away and then it's often followed up with a permaban from tips.