Tales of jerks getting owned at the tables
03-25-2018
, 02:03 AM
I read this story in a trip report and I thought maybe starting a thread would get others to recant their stories of poker karma. I love reading this kind of stuff.
This is from a recent LVL TR from RockyMoose. If you have a story of poker justice please share it for the enjoyment of the community.
This is from a recent LVL TR from RockyMoose. If you have a story of poker justice please share it for the enjoyment of the community.
Quote:
I get seated quickly, seat 8, and take stock of my opponents. My neighbor to the left is a chatty old local who folds too much, let’s call him Frank. Darvin gets seated to my right in seat 7.
Seat 5 is a complete tool. He’s around 30 years old, looks like a young trucker with the oversized ball cap and beard, and is talking smack non-stop. His patter is a combination of goading other players, commentary on every action, mixed with declarations of his poker prowess. We will call him “Tim Taylor”.
The only real problem with the persona Tim is trying to project is his short stack of $100. To give him credit, he’s not playing a completely poor short stack game. He’s often shipping it in pre-flop or flop and forcing the rest of us to adjust accordingly. He shoves pre once again and shows K
9
after everyone folds. “See, I had a hand! Maybe I’ll have something better next time?”
Tim limp-folds whenever he isn’t shipping, though, so it’s just a matter of time. He dwindles down to about $50 and then this hand happens:
I open to $15 in MP with KJ. Tim calls in the blinds (mistake, it’s like a third of his stack) and we’re heads up to a flop:
Flop ($30): Q
J5 He checks. It’s a bit odd for him to check because he’s so trigger happy. But I don’t care because I have middle pair, he has any two cards, there’s $30 in the pot and he only has $40 left behind. I ship it in.
Tim says, “Hmmm. I wonder what I should do?” He flips over A4 for the nuts. “Do you think I should call?”
The dealer waits patiently because Tim hasn’t formally acted. “Yeah, I guess I call!”
“Wow, nice hand,” I say. “I’m drawing dead!” I shake my head. At least it’s only $40. “Um, well, technically I could go runner-runner full house,” I laugh to the table.
The dealer turns the K. “There’s one!” I say.
The river is the J “I got it!” I say.
“You got it?” Tim says incredulously. I flip over my full house. (I ran the numbers later and I was 2.8% to win the hand.)
The table goes NUTS. Darvin whispers to me, “That was awesome! That guy is such a douchebag!”
It’s quite possibly my favorite hand ever, even though it was a tiny pot and I got my money in bad. I can’t give justice to describing how unbelievably annoying Tim has been at this table.
He buys in again for $100 and starts playing a bit more snug. Not as much pre-flop shipping, but he’s still commenting on every hand and telling everyone how they should have played their hands.
Tim keeps peeling off $100 bills and buying in short, losing, and buying in again. I almost start to feel bad for him be he just will not STFU and continues to needle everyone at the table, especially me.
He’s UTG with $100 behind and announces during the deal, just as I’m getting my second card, “I’m playing this hand blind!” Now I know this is almost always an angle and I chide myself for not watching the deal to see if he really looked or not. Tim opens to $15 “blind” and lets us know once again that he hasn’t looked.
Folds to me and I have 97 and make the call -- probably a mistake given his short stack but I'm hoping for more callers. Old man Frank ($150) on my left is the only other caller.
Flop: $45 Q74 Tim bets $20 and says, “That probably hit me!”
We aren’t heads up and the table talk is once again inappropriate. Still, I really don’t have much of a decision with middle pair and a flush draw against two shorties. Frank is projecting a fold. Tim started the hand with just $100, so I announce, “All in.” The dealer tosses the all-in button in front of me.
Frank insta-folds. Tim starts up the chatter again: “Hmmm, I wonder what I have?”
He flips over AA
“I think you probably looked,” I say. He smiles and shrugs.
“Hmmm, I wonder what I should do?” Tim starts his routine again with that dripping Malfoy voice. The dealer is waiting. “What do you think? I guess I should call!”
The dealer asks for clarification and Tim finally calls.
The turn is a blank and the river is the 5.
I flip over my hand without saying a word.
Darvin can’t contain his excitement. Tim looks like I punched him in the balls. He’s felted and gets up to leave without saying a word. Old Frank says to Tim, “Wow, you even had the Ace of clubs.”
Sometimes poker is awesome like that.
Seat 5 is a complete tool. He’s around 30 years old, looks like a young trucker with the oversized ball cap and beard, and is talking smack non-stop. His patter is a combination of goading other players, commentary on every action, mixed with declarations of his poker prowess. We will call him “Tim Taylor”.
The only real problem with the persona Tim is trying to project is his short stack of $100. To give him credit, he’s not playing a completely poor short stack game. He’s often shipping it in pre-flop or flop and forcing the rest of us to adjust accordingly. He shoves pre once again and shows K
9 after everyone folds. “See, I had a hand! Maybe I’ll have something better next time?”Tim limp-folds whenever he isn’t shipping, though, so it’s just a matter of time. He dwindles down to about $50 and then this hand happens:
I open to $15 in MP with K
J. Tim calls in the blinds (mistake, it’s like a third of his stack) and we’re heads up to a flop:Flop ($30): Q
J5 He checks. It’s a bit odd for him to check because he’s so trigger happy. But I don’t care because I have middle pair, he has any two cards, there’s $30 in the pot and he only has $40 left behind. I ship it in.Tim says, “Hmmm. I wonder what I should do?” He flips over A
4 for the nuts. “Do you think I should call?”The dealer waits patiently because Tim hasn’t formally acted. “Yeah, I guess I call!”
“Wow, nice hand,” I say. “I’m drawing dead!” I shake my head. At least it’s only $40. “Um, well, technically I could go runner-runner full house,” I laugh to the table.
The dealer turns the K
. “There’s one!” I say.The river is the J
“I got it!” I say.“You got it?” Tim says incredulously. I flip over my full house. (I ran the numbers later and I was 2.8% to win the hand.)
The table goes NUTS. Darvin whispers to me, “That was awesome! That guy is such a douchebag!”
It’s quite possibly my favorite hand ever, even though it was a tiny pot and I got my money in bad. I can’t give justice to describing how unbelievably annoying Tim has been at this table.
He buys in again for $100 and starts playing a bit more snug. Not as much pre-flop shipping, but he’s still commenting on every hand and telling everyone how they should have played their hands.
Tim keeps peeling off $100 bills and buying in short, losing, and buying in again. I almost start to feel bad for him be he just will not STFU and continues to needle everyone at the table, especially me.
He’s UTG with $100 behind and announces during the deal, just as I’m getting my second card, “I’m playing this hand blind!” Now I know this is almost always an angle and I chide myself for not watching the deal to see if he really looked or not. Tim opens to $15 “blind” and lets us know once again that he hasn’t looked.
Folds to me and I have 9
7 and make the call -- probably a mistake given his short stack but I'm hoping for more callers. Old man Frank ($150) on my left is the only other caller.Flop: $45 Q
74 Tim bets $20 and says, “That probably hit me!”We aren’t heads up and the table talk is once again inappropriate. Still, I really don’t have much of a decision with middle pair and a flush draw against two shorties. Frank is projecting a fold. Tim started the hand with just $100, so I announce, “All in.” The dealer tosses the all-in button in front of me.
Frank insta-folds. Tim starts up the chatter again: “Hmmm, I wonder what I have?”
He flips over A
A“I think you probably looked,” I say. He smiles and shrugs.
“Hmmm, I wonder what I should do?” Tim starts his routine again with that dripping Malfoy voice. The dealer is waiting. “What do you think? I guess I should call!”
The dealer asks for clarification and Tim finally calls.
The turn is a blank and the river is the 5
.I flip over my hand without saying a word.
Darvin can’t contain his excitement. Tim looks like I punched him in the balls. He’s felted and gets up to leave without saying a word. Old Frank says to Tim, “Wow, you even had the Ace of clubs.”
Sometimes poker is awesome like that.
03-25-2018
, 08:36 PM
Quote:
About 15 years ago, Florida spread 2-2 limit and nothing bigger. But there was a loophole that allowed card rooms to spread some pretty large sit-n-go's and these would run around the clock, with a new 10 handed sit-n-go starting as quickly as they could free up a table.
I was in a $250 buy-in (they'd go as high as $1000 buy-in, but that was beyond my bankroll) and the villain knocked out the 3rd place guy, leaving the two of us heads up. First place was around $1200 and second place was around $700 (I don't remember the exact prize amounts). Villain had something like a 10 to 1 chip stack advantage over me, and he asked if I was interested in making a deal, which was fairly common in this format.
I told him that I was interested and asked what he had in mind.
Villain: I'll take first place and you can have second place.
Me: So if I take the deal I get $700 for second place and you get $1200 for first place.
Villain: Right.
Me: And if we play it out and you beat me, I still get the same $700 for 2nd place?
Villain: Right.
Me: Okay, let's play it out, then.
I think it took me about 5 hands to finish him off and win first place.
If he would have made an actual offer like, "I'll give you the $700 for 2nd place and I'll throw in an extra $20 for you," I probably would have taken the deal.
I was in a $250 buy-in (they'd go as high as $1000 buy-in, but that was beyond my bankroll) and the villain knocked out the 3rd place guy, leaving the two of us heads up. First place was around $1200 and second place was around $700 (I don't remember the exact prize amounts). Villain had something like a 10 to 1 chip stack advantage over me, and he asked if I was interested in making a deal, which was fairly common in this format.
I told him that I was interested and asked what he had in mind.
Villain: I'll take first place and you can have second place.
Me: So if I take the deal I get $700 for second place and you get $1200 for first place.
Villain: Right.
Me: And if we play it out and you beat me, I still get the same $700 for 2nd place?
Villain: Right.
Me: Okay, let's play it out, then.
I think it took me about 5 hands to finish him off and win first place.
If he would have made an actual offer like, "I'll give you the $700 for 2nd place and I'll throw in an extra $20 for you," I probably would have taken the deal.
03-26-2018
, 02:30 AM
I play a lot of mixed games. In Omaha and stud based games it is not uncommon for you to start with one hand and backdoor your way into a completely different winning hand.
There is a guy I play with somewhat often, we'll call him Bob, that is a complainer and explainer, which is fine, people always lament about missing big draws, beats etc... it's part of poker, but that's not what this guy generally does, he laments about these things when he still wins the hand! This annoys many regulars in the game, nothing like rubbing salt in the wound, yes please tell me how you missed your huge draw but still won the entire F**ing pot in a split pot game.
Yesterday in a Stud 8 hand, I missed my draws and so did the other player in the hand and river checks around. I say I missed everything and muck, other guy says he missed too and shows a pair of 10s, bob winds up scooping a medium pot, with 1 pair of Aces that he hit on the river. Bob goes on to explain how he had a flush draw, a straight draw, could never fold and can't believe he bricked it all!!!
*He would have literally won $0 more dollars if he hit, nobody had a hand that could have called a river bet but I don't say anything, it would just make it worse, he would just re-explain it all again.
On to O8 round. Big multiway pot, I'm not involved in it. Flop is 24T with 2 hearts, lots of action on the flop, Bob bet/3b, 4 people to the turn. Turn is a Q, Bob bets, all call, river is a Q, Bob bets and gets 1 caller. Bob proclaims he flopped the nut low draw and the nut flush draw but went runner runner Q, and shows A3Q9. Then says I wonder what the math is, can't believe I missed the low, the wheel and the flush. My head is ready to asplode, he went runner-runner, scooped, got paid off on all 3 streets and still wants to tell us all how he 'missed'.
Few rounds later in Stud 8, Low card brings it in, bunch of folds, I raise with (25)3 and Bob reraises with (XX)J, I reraise and bob calls.
Bob check calls me the whole way down, including the river.
My hand is (25)3495 (5)
Bob's board is (XX)J927(x).
After Bob calls my river bet and before the cards are shown he asks, "Do you have a straight?". I say no, and he immediately goes chop it up then, Aces Up, flips his hole cards, AA7, and starts to go to pull his bets back. I say "Bob I have trips 5's and show my hand. Guys can you believe this? I started with 2345 and with 3 cards to come I couldn't make a low or a straight, what are the odds?!?!?!" Few of us laugh as I scoop in the chips, Bob was not amused.
There is a guy I play with somewhat often, we'll call him Bob, that is a complainer and explainer, which is fine, people always lament about missing big draws, beats etc... it's part of poker, but that's not what this guy generally does, he laments about these things when he still wins the hand! This annoys many regulars in the game, nothing like rubbing salt in the wound, yes please tell me how you missed your huge draw but still won the entire F**ing pot in a split pot game.
Yesterday in a Stud 8 hand, I missed my draws and so did the other player in the hand and river checks around. I say I missed everything and muck, other guy says he missed too and shows a pair of 10s, bob winds up scooping a medium pot, with 1 pair of Aces that he hit on the river. Bob goes on to explain how he had a flush draw, a straight draw, could never fold and can't believe he bricked it all!!!
*He would have literally won $0 more dollars if he hit, nobody had a hand that could have called a river bet but I don't say anything, it would just make it worse, he would just re-explain it all again.
On to O8 round. Big multiway pot, I'm not involved in it. Flop is 24T with 2 hearts, lots of action on the flop, Bob bet/3b, 4 people to the turn. Turn is a Q, Bob bets, all call, river is a Q, Bob bets and gets 1 caller. Bob proclaims he flopped the nut low draw and the nut flush draw but went runner runner Q, and shows A3Q9. Then says I wonder what the math is, can't believe I missed the low, the wheel and the flush. My head is ready to asplode, he went runner-runner, scooped, got paid off on all 3 streets and still wants to tell us all how he 'missed'.
Few rounds later in Stud 8, Low card brings it in, bunch of folds, I raise with (25)3 and Bob reraises with (XX)J, I reraise and bob calls.
Bob check calls me the whole way down, including the river.
My hand is (25)3495 (5)
Bob's board is (XX)J927(x).
After Bob calls my river bet and before the cards are shown he asks, "Do you have a straight?". I say no, and he immediately goes chop it up then, Aces Up, flips his hole cards, AA7, and starts to go to pull his bets back. I say "Bob I have trips 5's and show my hand. Guys can you believe this? I started with 2345 and with 3 cards to come I couldn't make a low or a straight, what are the odds?!?!?!" Few of us laugh as I scoop in the chips, Bob was not amused.
03-26-2018
, 12:14 PM
03-26-2018
, 01:11 PM
03-26-2018
, 02:44 PM
03-26-2018
, 02:47 PM
03-26-2018
, 04:15 PM
03-27-2018
, 06:20 PM
03-29-2018
, 11:48 AM