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Old 03-22-2010, 10:50 AM   #201
ErikTheDread
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Heard over the weekend:

Player A: I used to play ten-five until I learned my lesson.

Player B: I always play 9-3 because that's my birthday, September 3rd.

Player A: That makes sense. Maybe I should start playing 8-5 more. August 5th.
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Old 03-22-2010, 11:24 AM   #202
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

I'd been having a very good session at 4-8 kill. Probably up 500 in five hours, and all my big hands were hitting. At some point, I won on an ace high board with A-J. As I took in the pot, I heard the following conversation between two other players (about me.)
Player A: That guy keeps showing big hands.
Player B: Yeah. But it's the big hands that get cracked.
Player A: He's heading for a fall.
Player B: Yeah. And I'm gonna scoop up all his chips.
Player A: If you don't play 5-9 every now and then, it's just too easy for the other players to know exactly what you have.
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Old 03-22-2010, 11:35 AM   #203
ErikTheDread
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

No doubt some of these nonsense bits of advice might be disinformation from people who don't really believe what they're saying. One hopes.

A related question: What's the highest limit that you've heard stupid advice at? Comments like those ITT seem to be ubiquitous in the low-stakes games were I play. What about the bigger games that some of you here play at?
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Old 03-22-2010, 12:32 PM   #204
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Quote:
Originally Posted by ErikTheDread View Post
No doubt some of these nonsense bits of advice might be disinformation from people who don't really believe what they're saying. One hopes.
Keep it down in here. I do this all the time to new faces that look somewhat competent. Makes them think I'm a total donk. Most of the good regs in my game know I beat the game so I don't get a chance to use it very often.
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Old 03-22-2010, 12:47 PM   #205
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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Originally Posted by efdrummer89 View Post
I was playing 2/4 Limit at the Mille Lacs in Minnesota one night.

I am about an hour into my session and I pick up QJ in the big blind. everyone folds except an old guy in middle position. Flop comes QJ3 rainbow. We eventually cap it. The turn comes K. We cap it again. River comes a 9, we cap it again. I flip over my two pair and he shows 99 for the trips he got on the river. I ask how he is calling with 9s when we are capping on each street with all of these overcards on the board.

He responds, "implied odds."

.......
And what made you think QJ was good enough on a 4-straight board to cap the river with?
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Old 03-22-2010, 01:10 PM   #206
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Quote:
Originally Posted by ErikTheDread View Post

A related question: What's the highest limit that you've heard stupid advice at? Comments like those ITT seem to be ubiquitous in the low-stakes games were I play. What about the bigger games that some of you here play at?
I've noticed in limit poker that in every game there is someone that says that if the limits were higher, then they could run people out more, people wouldn't call with trash, etc. In 2/4, people say it about 3/6, in 10/20, someone will wish it was 20/40... the highest I've heard it at was 50/100. I didn't hear it the one time I played 75/150, but that was a small sample size and a HOE game anyway. Not to mention years ago.
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Old 03-22-2010, 01:17 PM   #207
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

A new "I folded AA pre" story.
Tourney, guy next to me looks like he plays some. Someone starts talking about folding AA and creating the bizarre scenario about short stack, multi all ins, and moving up a FT rung..yada yada yada.
Well the guy next to me tells me about folding AA pre when he was a medium stack nearing the bubble and a player went all in with about 1/3 of my guys stack and he folded because he wanted to be the agressor when playing a hand near the bubble.

.........his time was coming.
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Old 03-22-2010, 01:29 PM   #208
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Quote:
Originally Posted by ErikTheDread View Post
Heard over the weekend:

Player A: I used to play ten-five until I learned my lesson.

Player B: I always play 9-3 because that's my birthday, September 3rd.

Player A: That makes sense. Maybe I should start playing 8-5 more. August 5th.
So according to this, I should start playing 88... ty buddy. Usually I just fold it all the time because, what are the odds you will flop a set !? 50 cards left and 2 8s, so 1 time out of 25. And whenever there is one overcard you are doomed. And I think 88 will see at least one overcard on the flop 97% of the time. So, basically, your 8s will be good 3% of the time, plus 1/25 of the other 97%, which is what... 4% !? So you can only win 7% of the time with 8s. And this is just HU.
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Old 03-22-2010, 01:52 PM   #209
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Think of it as August Aighth.

Even then though, your AA might get cracked. Better just preflop-fold that too.
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Old 03-27-2010, 05:27 PM   #210
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

I just heard this one from a donk on UB:

"I rarely ever fold a pair when someone raises, cause you never know".

-This was his defense when he was being berated by the whole table: He called someone's all in with 22-they had KK. He caught a 2 on the flop. Lol.
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Old 03-27-2010, 07:45 PM   #211
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Quote:
Originally Posted by mboyle4999 View Post
I just heard this one from a donk on UB:

"I rarely ever fold a pair when someone raises, cause you never know".

-This was his defense when he was being berated by the whole table: He called someone's all in with 22-they had KK. He caught a 2 on the flop. Lol.
The bolded part would make me conclude that the whole table was full of (as an old man I hate this word except when used to describe a lead bet without the previous round initiative) donks.
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Old 03-27-2010, 08:37 PM   #212
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

I kid you not...

if go by birthdays....i should be playing 72 (yep...july 2nd)....
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Old 03-27-2010, 09:28 PM   #213
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

The funnest thing ve heard in a while was "I almost hit my kicker". The more I thought about that statement, the funnier it got to me.
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Old 03-27-2010, 09:34 PM   #214
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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Originally Posted by wanna-be View Post
The funnest thing ve heard in a while was "I almost hit my kicker". The more I thought about that statement, the funnier it got to me.
Lol.



I have a mildly humorous story. Player A calls player B all the way down to the river, and folds river to a bet of like $60 into a $200 pot. Player A folds and baffles the whole table. Someone pipes up and asks,
"Mind sharing what you had by chance?"
"I had a double over-pair draw."


I laughed, both at the time in his face, and now looking back on it. Way to donk off $100, dude. Play a hand with me next?
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Old 03-28-2010, 10:28 AM   #215
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

£1/2 game, 3-handed pot in which a short-stack is all-in pre, with about £120 in the pot. The flop comes 9-5-4 and is checked to the pre-flop aggressor, who shoves £150, getting the other guy to fold 88. He flips over A-7, hits an A on the turn, and wins the pot.

Me: why did you bet there after he checked? Why not just check and get a free card?
Him: oh, because I'm leaving.
Me: ???????
Him: You see, I'm leaving after the hand, so I have to shove.
Me: ...
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Old 03-28-2010, 12:06 PM   #216
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Quote:
Originally Posted by texan1382 View Post
Lol.



I have a mildly humorous story. Player A calls player B all the way down to the river, and folds river to a bet of like $60 into a $200 pot. Player A folds and baffles the whole table. Someone pipes up and asks,
"Mind sharing what you had by chance?"
"I had a double over-pair draw."


I laughed, both at the time in his face, and now looking back on it. Way to donk off $100, dude. Play a hand with me next?
OMG thread winner.
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Old 03-28-2010, 01:49 PM   #217
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dealer-Guy View Post
An important part of good play is changing it up and playing less than premium hnds on occassion. It helps to show down such hands as well whether you win or lose to confuse the tables image of the player.

Of course, not every player who shows down 3/5 off is changing it up, they may be the donkey the other player imagines they are.

But when I ee a regular at the 2/5 games flip over 4/6 off and take down a big pot, the funny part is the player who then says:

"I hope you keep playing hands just like that buddy, I'll be waiting." and they then proceed to turn into a calling station sure they will catch the player with a crappy hand again.

Had this exact thing happen to me over Xmas break except I had 53s... classic stuff when they call you lucky after they turn over top pair with a medium kicker and think it's the nuts...
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Old 03-28-2010, 06:07 PM   #218
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

This was probably the most ridiculous conversation I have ever seen while playing 1/2NL. The convo is probably 99% accurate from what I remember of it. It was about 2 years ago..

Folds all the way around to the SB and he asks the BB if he wants to chop..

BB: "No, I want to play because I have a qualifier"
SB: "Well I don't.. I fold.."
BB: "Are you sure you didn't have a qualifier?"
SB: "Yes"
BB: "Do you know what qualifies for a Bad Beat Jackpot?"
SB: "Yes"

At this point we are in the next freaking hand already....

BB: "I will be really mad if we just lost the Bad Beat Jackpot last hand.."
SB: "Dude, I had 6-2 off-suit"
BB: "See, you should have called that."
SB: "It's not a qualifier.."
BB: "Still though, you have lots of ways to make a straight with that hand."

The rant goes on from here as well.. the BB keeps pestering the SB about how dumb of a fold it was and even said something to the tune of "All those times you fold your extra dollar you could be missing out on a $100 pot or more."
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Old 03-28-2010, 08:51 PM   #219
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

I was playin in a tourney early and one player raised first in 4x the BB.

Button folded after a while the rest folded.

The raiser shows TT and the button said "I had you dominated. I had JT."

I laughed.

Incidentally, I am someone who says "wow 5s are hot" or "tens are hot" because I want donks playing them.

I have heard the ppl saying you have to play any suited connectors even for multiple bets cause of the BBJP.

Great thread.
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Old 03-28-2010, 09:18 PM   #220
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Quote:
Originally Posted by rammynutzhard View Post
BB: "I will be really mad if we just lost the Bad Beat Jackpot last hand.."
LHE w/ BBJ... my very first hand at the table I hold AA and flop quads. It checks around. The turn makes the board AA38 rainbow. I lead and everyone folds.

Him: "Why did you bet the turn? We might have hit the jackpot on the river."
Me: "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I didn't hurt our chances by betting there."
Him: (now super agitated) "What!? How do you know that!? Why would you throw away a chance at thousands of dollars!?"

Last edited by FlyingSpaghetti; 03-28-2010 at 09:18 PM. Reason: Should have told him I didn't need the money.
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Old 03-29-2010, 03:29 AM   #221
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Quote:
Originally Posted by rammynutzhard View Post
This was probably the most ridiculous conversation I have ever seen while playing 1/2NL. The convo is probably 99% accurate from what I remember of it. It was about 2 years ago..

Folds all the way around to the SB and he asks the BB if he wants to chop..

BB: "No, I want to play because I have a qualifier"
SB: "Well I don't.. I fold.."
BB: "Are you sure you didn't have a qualifier?"
SB: "Yes"
BB: "Do you know what qualifies for a Bad Beat Jackpot?"
SB: "Yes"

At this point we are in the next freaking hand already....

BB: "I will be really mad if we just lost the Bad Beat Jackpot last hand.."
SB: "Dude, I had 6-2 off-suit"
BB: "See, you should have called that."
SB: "It's not a qualifier.."
BB: "Still though, you have lots of ways to make a straight with that hand."

The rant goes on from here as well.. the BB keeps pestering the SB about how dumb of a fold it was and even said something to the tune of "All those times you fold your extra dollar you could be missing out on a $100 pot or more."
Not to mention that 99% of casinos that offer BBJs would disqualify the guy for saying the world "qualifier", especially when saying "do you know what qualifies for the BBJ".

The BBJ is awesome. Not because of any chance of hitting it, but because it is responsible for a significant portion of the most ridiculous plays around.
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Old 03-29-2010, 03:34 AM   #222
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Quote:
Originally Posted by ErikTheDread View Post
Heard over the weekend:

Player A: I used to play ten-five until I learned my lesson.

Player B: I always play 9-3 because that's my birthday, September 3rd.

Player A: That makes sense. Maybe I should start playing 8-5 more. August 5th.
Player C: My birthday is January 1st.
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Old 03-29-2010, 11:57 AM   #223
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

My favorite is when a guy who thinks he is good tries to call out everybody's hands, and is wrong.

I remember one where I made a bluff-catcher call with QQ on the river of a paired board with a 3 or 4 straight on it and a guy immediately called the other guy's hand out as a full house and me as something better than I had. Nope, wrong (bluff) and wrong (bluffcatcher). At least he complimented my read/call. (Sorry for fuzzy details.)
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Old 03-29-2010, 08:38 PM   #224
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rick Nebiolo View Post
The bolded part would make me conclude that the whole table was full of (as an old man I hate this word except when used to describe a lead bet without the previous round initiative) donks.
And why would the part that you bolded lead you to conclude this?

Edit: And it actually wasn't the whole table, it was more like 2 or 3 people that said something along the lines of "jeez 22 huh?".
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Old 03-29-2010, 09:47 PM   #225
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Quote:
Originally Posted by texan1382 View Post
I laughed, both at the time in his face, and now looking back on it. Way to donk off $100, dude. Play a hand with me next?
Perhaps laughing in his face is not the way to encourage him to play a hand with you?
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