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Old 03-11-2010, 06:12 PM   #126
TBobLP
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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Originally Posted by RadcliffePoker View Post
Also love how donks talk about Facbook poker bragging to each other about how many million chips they had before they lost it all in an hour. I feel like telling them to learn about Bankroll Management but then think to myself 'don't educate the fish'
facebook poker BRM ITT
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Old 03-11-2010, 06:51 PM   #127
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

"poker is all about luck"










and they are damn right!!

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Old 03-12-2010, 07:03 AM   #128
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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Eric Morcambe FTW!

Also love how donks talk about Facbook poker bragging to each other about how many million chips they had before they lost it all in an hour. I feel like telling them to learn about Bankroll Management but then think to myself 'don't educate the fish'
Reminds me of this one night at work. While on a smoke break me and another guy were talking about our sessions from the previous night and how much we won. Third guy chirps in about how he's lost over 100K in the past month. I tell him thats why I play the low limits cause a 100K swing would cause me to shot myself in the head. He looks at me all confused and asks why I would kill myself over play chips.
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Old 03-12-2010, 07:34 AM   #129
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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level?
nawww
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Old 03-12-2010, 08:44 AM   #130
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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Reminds me of this one night at work. While on a smoke break me and another guy were talking about our sessions from the previous night and how much we won. Third guy chirps in about how he's lost over 100K in the past month. I tell him thats why I play the low limits cause a 100K swing would cause me to shot myself in the head. He looks at me all confused and asks why I would kill myself over play chips.
magical
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Old 03-12-2010, 10:45 AM   #131
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

It really is wonderful how games like Zynga (sp?) poker from FB is creating this new generation of poker players.
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Old 03-13-2010, 09:36 PM   #132
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

"JTs is a favorite over AA because it can hit straights and flushes, but AA only has 2 outs."

--klez
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Old 03-13-2010, 11:37 PM   #133
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

shoved AA BvB and BB calls me with Q6 and sucks out. then he says: " Sorry, i didnt believe you"

huh?
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Old 03-14-2010, 01:21 AM   #134
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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shoved AA BvB and BB calls me with Q6 and sucks out. then he says: " Sorry, i didnt believe you"

huh?
What's not to understand? When players try to bluff/steal, it's only with hands that Q6 have dominated. Otherwise it's not a bluff. Or Steal. El dee oh.
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Old 03-14-2010, 01:40 AM   #135
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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shoved AA BvB and BB calls me with Q6 and sucks out. then he says: " Sorry, i didnt believe you"

huh?
this one takes the cake for me because of the subtleness.

seriously, though-he was call-bluffing.
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Old 03-14-2010, 01:57 AM   #136
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

I heard the "you want to play 5's and 10's because you need them to make a straight- 2 best hands to play" tonight. lol
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Old 03-14-2010, 04:54 PM   #137
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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this one takes the cake for me because of the subtleness.

seriously, though-he was call-bluffing.
Tried a river bluff with AJ on a board of KQ763 (or something like that, it was KQ and three low cards). Was on the nut flush/gutshot draw. Got called. Said "good call, you caught me" and flipped over my AJ.

He said "Damnit, I knew you were bluffing there...but your kickers play" and flipped over 85.

(Yes there was significant action before the river, so to put me on a hand that 85 beats would basically mean 54 and 54 only).

The entire table looked at him and gave this WTF look.

He turned to the 2 or 3 closest players to him, myself included, and said "It was worth it, now I've established that I can read a bluff and no one will bluff me out the rest of the night!"
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Old 03-14-2010, 05:32 PM   #138
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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Tried a river bluff with AJ on a board of KQ763 (or something like that, it was KQ and three low cards).
(Yes there was significant action before the river, so to put me on a hand that 85 beats would basically mean 54 and 54 only).
4-5 is a straight, the river was a deuce?
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Old 03-14-2010, 05:37 PM   #139
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

I played last night and I heard one spazztard to my left tell me that his favorite hand was 5 10 because straights have to involve a 5 or a 10 so therefore you have the best of both worlds with that type of hand.

I just nodded in agreement.
He also then told me 47 of spades was his favorite hand because of all the money he won in bj with spades.

I just nodded in agreement.
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Old 03-14-2010, 06:41 PM   #140
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

I'm bringing up one more gem from the previous thread of this nature. Unfortunately I can't take credit for this because it's quite absurd.

"I put you on pocket aces and that means my 44 is as good as KK here and I'm never folding KK. I call."

Something like that...you get the idea.
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Old 03-14-2010, 07:06 PM   #141
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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I'm bringing up one more gem from the previous thread of this nature. Unfortunately I can't take credit for this because it's quite absurd.

"I put you on pocket aces and that means my 44 is as good as KK here and I'm never folding KK. I call."

Something like that...you get the idea.
makes sense... it has even more outs to the straight, lvl2 thinking
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Old 03-14-2010, 07:09 PM   #142
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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Originally Posted by StackerBA View Post
I'm bringing up one more gem from the previous thread of this nature. Unfortunately I can't take credit for this because it's quite absurd.

"I put you on pocket aces and that means my 44 is as good as KK here and I'm never folding KK. I call."

Something like that...you get the idea.
that's one of the funnier ones on this thread...and the donk's thinking ALMOST makes sense...
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Old 03-14-2010, 07:20 PM   #143
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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4-5 is a straight, the river was a deuce?
As I said, I do not remember the exact board; the board was KQxxx, three low cards, and he had an open ended straight draw by wrapping around the two higher of the three low cards that didn't come on the river, and I had AJ for the nutflush and a gutter draw as well. Both missed. I was more amazed that he would knowingly call a significant $ bluff just to establish that he can catch other people's bluffs. But I wasn't complaining; more moneyz for me!
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Old 03-14-2010, 07:22 PM   #144
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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Originally Posted by StackerBA View Post
I'm bringing up one more gem from the previous thread of this nature. Unfortunately I can't take credit for this because it's quite absurd.

"I put you on pocket aces and that means my 44 is as good as KK here and I'm never folding KK. I call."

Something like that...you get the idea.
Hey, if you're willing to treat the hand as a set-mine or fold hand, then the call isn't horrible. Probably better for him that he has 44, as you're more comfortable laying it down if it doesn't hit than KK.

Set-mining FTW!
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Old 03-14-2010, 07:44 PM   #145
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Yeah, but I remember this post from the other thread as well. (It was one of the most memorable ones.)

And the lady didn't just call a raise with 44, she called a shove.

--klez
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Old 03-15-2010, 01:19 AM   #146
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

A donk last night spent an hour trying to explain to me the profitability of chasing a runner-runner flush. He was mad when I folded two diamonds with ONE diamond on the flop with zero pairs. He thought I should atleast call a bet to see if the turn brings a flush draw!
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Old 03-15-2010, 08:49 AM   #147
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

This weekend, same morons I mentioned in the borgata thread. (The ones using their iphones and poker stove after each hand)... One tried to bluff a calling station and was pretty agitated after losing to bottom pair. Made some comment about getting no respect for his raise.

I guess I gave the advice this time bc I swear a 'reply to thread box' appeared in my head and I instantly said, "You should move up to where they respect your raises..."
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Old 03-15-2010, 09:39 AM   #148
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Playing recently and a guy stuck it all in for 250bb on a semi-bluff with 52 on a Q72 flop and got called by AQ.

The turn and river bricked and as the guy walked off, the guy who won started tutting and announcing. "Pfft! You'll never see me putting all my money in with 52! How must he feel? The last hand of the his day and he blew £500 with 52!"

I couldn't contain myself so I told asked him how much of a favourite he thought he was. He said "at least 60:40". I said "ok, i'll put my entire stack against him being better than 40%" at which point he backed down a little and said "ok then, maybe 55:45". I asked him again if he'd like to bet. He then dropped to 52:48 but would still not bet on it.

So I pulled out my iPhone and put the cards into an app and it said the 52 was 50.1% favourite!

The best part:

Now him and his mate start saying "Yeah but you don't know what everyone else folded!"

LOL!

"...what if everyone folded diamonds? What then? He's got less chance of hitting!"

Soooo I just said "and what if everybody folded spades?"
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Old 03-15-2010, 10:50 AM   #149
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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Originally Posted by Texas_Oldham View Post
Playing recently and a guy stuck it all in for 250bb on a semi-bluff with 52 on a Q72 flop and got called by AQ.

The turn and river bricked and as the guy walked off, the guy who won started tutting and announcing. "Pfft! You'll never see me putting all my money in with 52! How must he feel? The last hand of the his day and he blew £500 with 52!"

I couldn't contain myself so I told asked him how much of a favourite he thought he was. He said "at least 60:40". I said "ok, i'll put my entire stack against him being better than 40%" at which point he backed down a little and said "ok then, maybe 55:45". I asked him again if he'd like to bet. He then dropped to 52:48 but would still not bet on it.

So I pulled out my iPhone and put the cards into an app and it said the 52 was 50.1% favourite!

The best part:

Now him and his mate start saying "Yeah but you don't know what everyone else folded!"

LOL!

"...what if everyone folded diamonds? What then? He's got less chance of hitting!"

Soooo I just said "and what if everybody folded spades?"
You should have just lied and said you folded Q/random card, both spades. Bumps the odds up a bit.
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Old 03-15-2010, 11:22 AM   #150
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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Originally Posted by Texas_Oldham View Post
Playing recently and a guy stuck it all in for 250bb on a semi-bluff with 52 on a Q72 flop and got called by AQ.

The turn and river bricked and as the guy walked off, the guy who won started tutting and announcing. "Pfft! You'll never see me putting all my money in with 52! How must he feel? The last hand of the his day and he blew £500 with 52!"

I couldn't contain myself so I told asked him how much of a favourite he thought he was. He said "at least 60:40". I said "ok, i'll put my entire stack against him being better than 40%" at which point he backed down a little and said "ok then, maybe 55:45". I asked him again if he'd like to bet. He then dropped to 52:48 but would still not bet on it.

So I pulled out my iPhone and put the cards into an app and it said the 52 was 50.1% favourite!

The best part:

Now him and his mate start saying "Yeah but you don't know what everyone else folded!"

LOL!

"...what if everyone folded diamonds? What then? He's got less chance of hitting!"

Soooo I just said "and what if everybody folded spades?"
Don't teach crappy players odds. Once they realize that a pair and flush draw is almost never dead--it makes the game much harder to beat.
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