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Old 03-02-2010, 12:44 PM   #26
27AllIn
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

a guy said you lose more money with aces than you win with them. But you still gotta play them.
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Old 03-02-2010, 12:46 PM   #27
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Quote:
Originally Posted by 27AllIn View Post
a guy said you lose more money with aces than you win with them. But you still gotta play them.
I'm pretty sure if you think about this statement for more than 5 seconds your head will explode...
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Old 03-02-2010, 12:58 PM   #28
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Facing a raise and another reraise all in to her intial 5x open (she's sitting anout 100x and the all in is 85x) she says with her 5 5

"i should call her because i'm getting odds"

she folds and the other two have jj and qq and the flop is 10 10 6 and a 5 on the turn and an Ace on the river.

"see i told you i was priced in wow i play bad"
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Old 03-02-2010, 12:59 PM   #29
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

With 9's come 6's!!!
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Old 03-02-2010, 01:07 PM   #30
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

"Never fold your big blind pre-flop."
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Old 03-02-2010, 01:11 PM   #31
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

If you're in the blinds and there are a lot of players play very low cards because all the high cards are already taken so you'll win.
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Old 03-02-2010, 01:20 PM   #32
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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Originally Posted by 27AllIn View Post
a guy said you lose more money with aces than you win with them. But you still gotta play them.
and he was telling the truth
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Old 03-02-2010, 03:13 PM   #33
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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and he was telling the truth
level?
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Old 03-02-2010, 05:03 PM   #34
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

A few months ago I folded A9o UTG at a full 9-handed game. Unfortunately the cards flipped over on their way to the muck and I was pretty much berated by the entire table.

"You'll never win by playing that tight! You gottah at least see the flop with that one!"

This uber aggressive Hispanic guy sitting next to me berated me the rest of the night. Every time I raised he would make a comment about me having pocket aces.
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Old 03-02-2010, 05:07 PM   #35
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Oh, and one more...Playing a 4-8 limit game in Tulsa, Oklahoma, I heard a guy say "I never fold my big blind to a raise, that's like throwing away four dollars!"
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Old 03-02-2010, 05:55 PM   #36
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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Originally Posted by BarneyFrizzle View Post
With 9's come 6's!!!
My older brother once told me that he'll always, always, always play 96o because it's his lucky hand. I suppose that qualifies for this thread.
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Old 03-02-2010, 06:09 PM   #37
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

I brought it in with A6h from the cutoff, button smooth called me with kings and i stacked him when we got it all in on a 3x4h5h flop. He then turns to me and says "Raising A6 is always a losing play you should stop doing it. Only QQ,KK, and AA are worth raises preflop."
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Old 03-02-2010, 06:09 PM   #38
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

10/20 at Mirage, Flop QQJ, turn A river 6, older tight asian man bets every street and is caught bluffing w/ 9 10 and a flush draw. Idiot lady shows 33 and he asked how she called all those bets.

She whispers to me "yeah, like I am going to fold when I flop 2 pair".
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Old 03-02-2010, 06:20 PM   #39
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Experienced a couple of things:

One really weird guy told me: "I ALWAYS fold aces preflop. You know what, out of the 50 times i've had aces, i've lost 51 times. Queens and tens are what win me pots."

Later we talked about Gus Hansen and he said "what would you do if you had AK and the flop came KJJ, and your opponent raised TEN TIMES your bet?" I said: "Erh i dno, i would probably fold." He says (while creepingly staring me in the eyes) "GUS WILL CALL THAT. Thats why Gus is a pro. I'm glad we settled that argument".

Weird ****. Later on he told my friend that he was in organized crime, had cooked for 7 royal families/3 american presidents, owned 2 nightclubs, his three favorite things in life were hookers, cocaine and poker, he started crying suddenly because his son was ill etc etc. A very entertaining person

Besides always hearing how online poker is rigged, i've also once spent 10 minutes trying to convince a lady that a flush draw vs. a set all-in on the flop isnt 50/50. 30 minutes later she called my all-in preflop shove with K8 (i had AK).
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Old 03-02-2010, 06:25 PM   #40
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

"You're not winning any hands because you're not playing in enough hands. You fold too much."
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Old 03-02-2010, 07:30 PM   #41
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Best S&F advice I got from a donk was "Stop looking at me."
Best S&F Advice I have given: "I lose money at anything at or below $1/2 but make money at $2/4." While playing at a $1/2 table.
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Old 03-02-2010, 09:22 PM   #42
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Quote:
Originally Posted by trip_kings12 View Post
HAHAHA I've heard something similar to this before. Hilarious!
HAHA, A few years ago I actually was in vegas for my first time at Binions Horseshoe. I came to vegas with a bankroll of around 2k, I sat at the 2/5 game there with 1500!!! Cause I saw the game was so crazy preflop with wild wild raises. I sat and Had the AA and did CALL. When I lost someone said... yeah I wouldnt ever call there there is just too much crazyness going on. It pissed me off cause why are they playing in the crazy game if they cant even call when they got the nuts. thats stupid kinda thinking.
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Old 03-02-2010, 09:25 PM   #43
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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Originally Posted by CalPolyKid View Post
I brought it in with A6h from the cutoff, button smooth called me with kings and i stacked him when we got it all in on a 3x4h5h flop. He then turns to me and says "Raising A6 is always a losing play you should stop doing it. Only QQ,KK, and AA are worth raises preflop."
Nice Raises KK lol
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Old 03-03-2010, 04:51 AM   #44
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pot Odds RAC View Post
"You're not winning any hands because you're not playing in enough hands. You fold too much."
I get this one all the time! People seem to believe that the higher the VPIP, the more money you make long-term. Some online poker player needs to enlighten these donks...or not lol
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Old 03-03-2010, 07:06 AM   #45
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

If you don't care about the full story, just skip to the bold.

First, the set-up. There was a donk talking all night about odds and whatnot, educating the idiots in his mind about what was the proper play. I had been pretending to agree with him (well, some of the time he was right), but this led him to say at one point, referring to me, "see us good players know odds, it changes so much".

He had a very easy to pick up pattern. If he had a hand, he bet the size of the pot on the flop, then doubled his bet on the turn, and then tripled the flop bet on the river. He also had berated someone earlier for calling all the way down with a flush draw. He also could never get away from a good hand because "I bet all the draws out, so my hand should have been good". 2/5NL, buy-in 200 to 500, most stacks in the 500-800 area.

I flop the Ace high flush draw. We both have about $500 in stacks. $40 in the pot. He bets $40. Since I know he's going to end up betting $80 and $120, and since I also know he's going to absolutely fail to put me on a flush draw since "the odds weren't there and I'm a good player who knows odds", and he can never get away from a hand he likes, there's a pretty damn good chance I'm getting my river reraise paid if I do hit the flush, so the implied odds are ridiculously in my favor. Oh, and I have position on him. Flush comes on the turn, but I just flat, and then raise his $120 bet with a shove all-in on the river and he calls with bottom two pair and promptly flips out.

"How could you call on the flop? I bet the pot, I thought you knew odds, you're not getting your money in good there, you're calling a pot-sized bet with just a flush draw! Christ is everyone on this table ******ed?"

"You ever heard of implied odds?"

"Yeah I've heard of the theory, but it's stupid. Since you have absolutely no idea what the other player is going to do on the next street, the only thing you know for sure is the bet in front of you and the odds to call. Any other considerations don't matter - what if I don't bet the turn? You can't base a call on what the person will do in the next stage. Any time I read a book that talks about implied odds I immediately throw it away"

Obviously that's not the exact quote, but he did go on that kind of rant. He spent a good few minutes telling us how stupid implied odds were, insisting that there was no way to predict what another player would do on the next street[s]. The throw away book comment nearly made me fall onto the floor in laughter.

I just told him "You make a good point", and moved on. He bought back in and got felted again fairly quickly, and then left. Hopefully I see him again.
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Old 03-03-2010, 07:40 AM   #46
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Thread delivers. Will try to come up with a story.

I like to play off stories. Agree with someone, say something sort of true, see what response is, see how far down I can get them to agree on something that is bogus.

Sometimes I'm still the donk though.

Last edited by DuckyLucky; 03-03-2010 at 07:41 AM. Reason: Lots of misconceptions surrounding BBJ's no doubt.
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Old 03-03-2010, 09:24 AM   #47
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

My favorite is when someone says "My favorite hand is XX." You can fill in the blank with 10 10, K 9, 10 2, 7s 8s or any other hand of that type.

My normal response is, My favorite hand is Aces.
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Old 03-03-2010, 09:44 AM   #48
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

At a 1/2 table I played after a few limps I raised it up to 15 on the button with QcJc. Small blind, big blind, and two limpers called, flop came down a rainbow J 3 2, small blind leads out for 60, called pretty quickly by one of the limpers, I fold. Goes to showdown, small blind has J 8 o and limper has 10 10.

While that was just good old fashioned 1/2 donking I didn't really mind and jokingly sort of said "Argh, my Q J would have gotten me that $100 pot". The small blind said something like "Ouch, tough break dude, but I was pretty much representing KJ or better with my flop bet". I blithely replied "Yes, yes you were sir".
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Old 03-03-2010, 10:14 AM   #49
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Quote:
Originally Posted by FlatTireSuited View Post
There was a donk talking all night about odds and whatnot, educating the idiots in his mind about what was the proper play.
Good story

I had someone similar on a table a few weeks back. His guaranteed to win theory went like this - "Do you know how hard it is to flop a pair in Hold-em? Dude, if you flop top pair the odds are 90% of the time you are winning so I never fold that hand, not ever". He was as good as his word.
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Old 03-03-2010, 10:31 AM   #50
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

a friend of mine once told me " its better to be out of position ,its easier to play, you make more money and you can bluff more" LOL -_-'
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