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Old 04-08-2010, 07:47 PM   #276
maxz
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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Originally Posted by Aceium View Post
I was trying to think what kind of hand matchup would be exactly 50/50, but this seems obvious now.

But it depends on whether or not more clubs have been coming out on the board lately....
This has to be a level...
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Old 04-10-2010, 01:57 AM   #277
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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Originally Posted by RepresentNothing View Post
It really is wonderful how games like Zynga (sp?) poker from FB is creating this new generation of poker players.
I am still major-ly donk-tastic, I know it, and accept it. Will be for a quite a while. Got 20 poker books in my library. Read every one.

And that silly Facebook game is where I initially played. Drove me crazy that they didn't play 'right'. Oh, well. Learned the rules, anyway.

So I will not offer any opinions about poker in a casino to ANYONE.

Because one of you will write about it.

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Originally Posted by ErikTheDread View Post
Heard over the weekend:

Player A: I used to play ten-five until I learned my lesson.

Player B: I always play 9-3 because that's my birthday, September 3rd.

Player A: That makes sense. Maybe I should start playing 8-5 more. August 5th.
And what the hell am I supposed to do here? My birthday is June 24

I guess my game should be Razz, that way I could always open with 6-2-4

Last edited by VoiceofTJ; 04-10-2010 at 02:24 AM.
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Old 04-12-2010, 01:23 PM   #278
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Last night in a local SoCal Indian Casino:

Donk on my left makes standard preflop call. Lady across the table makes 5X BB raise to go. Donk on left calls. Flop comes. She makes continuation bet. He calls. Turn - check check. River - 10X BB bet. Donk calls.

She turns over QQ. He? 53s. The words out of his mouth? "Good! I was hoping for that coin toss opportunity!" He was serious. Shortly thereafter I felted him with my AA versus his A4.
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Old 04-13-2010, 03:46 AM   #279
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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Originally Posted by FlatTireSuited View Post
Player C: My birthday is January 1st.

Mine is Oct 2. Oh well, it worked for Doyle.
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Old 04-13-2010, 04:06 AM   #280
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

This thread brings back memories of my first "poker" trip. I'd been playing for 4 months and went to Reno to play.

I was playing 3/6 and one of the regulars was in seat 3 with a mountain of chips. He was obviously a good player. I was obviously not so lots of people were "helping" me. I was in seat 7 and the guy to my left was giving me tips. After seat 3 had lost a pot when he didn't make his flush, my new friend told me said "See that guy in seat 3? He's a bad player because he bets before he's made his hand. You shouldn't do that." I guess I looked a bit stunned because he went on to explain that I would just be throwing money away if I bet before I hit a flush or straight. He was absolutely serious and I never saw him bet a draw.

By the way, the best piece of advise I got on that trip was to check out 2+2.

Good stories. Keep them coming.
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Old 04-13-2010, 07:23 AM   #281
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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Originally Posted by YoungLiveNit
As a career choice, however, grinding 1/2 NL sounds like a terrible idea. Let's say you play 2000 hours a year, making $18 an hour, which is pretty damn decent for 1/2 NL (Sure, you'll make more on weekends, but really, how much are you gonna make in a Monday night game with 8 other regulars on the table?). That comes to $36k, without any of the benefits of a real job, such as saving up for retirement and insurances. Add to that the limited fun of grinding 1/2 for 40 years and I don't see why anyone would WANT to play 1/2 NL for a living.....
Unless you live in a country where about 6k $ is an avarage Yearly salary.
Suddenly playing 1/2 for living doesnt sound too bad (Of course, some will ask how the hell do you get the BR for it lol. You dont xD)

Last edited by Anakiir; 04-13-2010 at 07:29 AM.
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Old 04-13-2010, 11:32 AM   #282
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

great thread
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Old 04-13-2010, 02:39 PM   #283
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Live 2-5 NL, I held 8c 9d and called the small blinds raise after limping on the button, as well as the other 2 players at the table. Flop came 8-9-10 with two clubs. SB leads for 3/4 pot, big blind calls leaving himself very close to commitment, and cutoff calls. I make a pot sized raise, and sb and cutoff both fold while bb grudgingly puts his money in and says I have the clubs. Turn and River are blanks and then he proceeds to tell me nice hand but I was extremely lucky because I only had 4 cards left to improve my hand and he 9. I said politely that I was already ahead and didn't need to improve, and he said well yes, but the luck was that If he hit, then I would only have the 4 cards with one to come. I nodded in agreeance, and toked the dealer.
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Old 04-13-2010, 03:29 PM   #284
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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Originally Posted by Age Quod Agis View Post
Live 2-5 NL, I held 8c 9d and called the small blinds raise after limping on the button, as well as the other 2 players at the table. Flop came 8-9-10 with two clubs. SB leads for 3/4 pot, big blind calls leaving himself very close to commitment, and cutoff calls. I make a pot sized raise, and sb and cutoff both fold while bb grudgingly puts his money in and says I have the clubs. Turn and River are blanks and then he proceeds to tell me nice hand but I was extremely lucky because I only had 4 cards left to improve my hand and he 9. I said politely that I was already ahead and didn't need to improve, and he said well yes, but the luck was that If he hit, then I would only have the 4 cards with one to come. I nodded in agreeance, and toked the dealer.
So what am I missing here? 4 clubs wins the hand? Opening with 89o?
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Old 04-13-2010, 03:33 PM   #285
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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So what am I missing here? 4 clubs wins the hand? Opening with 89o?
He had a fluhs draw. It missed.
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Old 04-13-2010, 03:38 PM   #286
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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He had a fluhs draw. It missed.
Duh. Gotcha. For some reason I was reading that as he won with the flush. Glad he limped with his 89o.
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Old 04-13-2010, 05:22 PM   #287
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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According to your numbers (which I don't dispute) we do, just after a leisurely 18ish hour day.

On and off topic: Has anyone found themselves being the donk in these stories when you know damn well what you're spouting off isn't accurate? After hanging around the casino crowd, I find myself joining in the "7s are hot!" observation or the "I hate AK, no matter what I do with it I lose money" chant.

I think a lot of people say these things and don't really mean them, it's just a friendly way to blow off steam after you fold AK postflop or 73o scoops a monster.
Or a good way to get half-donks (guys who have a marginal clue what they're doing from reading a book or two, but play a very predictable style that's easy to pick up) to try to target you.

2/5, nitty reg (who had played few hands; only raising with either a monster or targetting the easy players) who knows what he's doing raises to $35 from the cut-off after the tight half-donk limped and one other guy limped (tight half-donk had done a decent amount of limp-fold to a raise, because book says you want to play suited connectors but you can't call a pre-flop raise with them). Button and blinds fold, tight half-donk thinks for a second, then just calls, other limper folds.

Flop comes 8-5-2 all rainbow, bet/call, turn comes T, bet/call, river was something pointless, bet/call. Half-donk shows JJ, nitty reg shows 85s on what was blatantly a steal that got caught that lucked into a hand. Half-donk is not very happy with this, asks the reg WTF, raising with 8-5? Luckbox, idiot, yadda yadda yadda.

Nitty reg says "Gotta get the money in there with suited connectors, they so often flop monsters!", with a dead serious face. I and the one other reg at the table know he's just pretending to be an idiot, but the half-donk, thinking the reg is serious, taps the table and says "okay, nice hand", and sets out to target the reg.

Later a $35 raise from the nitty reg got called from the half-donk, but this time nitty reg had KK and got paid off massively by half-donk thinking his J-T was good after a T-3-2 flop, with blanks on turn and river.
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Old 04-13-2010, 06:01 PM   #288
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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Originally Posted by FlatTireSuited View Post

Flop comes 8-5-2 all rainbow, bet/call, turn comes T, bet/call, river was something pointless, bet/call. Half-donk shows JJ, nitty reg shows 85s
...and here I thought I knew every possible bad way to play pocket jacks.
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Old 04-13-2010, 06:34 PM   #289
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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Originally Posted by madlondoner View Post
He had a fluhs draw. It missed.
Basically saying or so I assume was that I was lucky because he had more clubs he could hit and If he hit, I only had 4 other cards to fill up and redraw out on him. LoL. It's hard to say though. Their reasoning is off quite often.
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Old 04-27-2010, 03:34 PM   #290
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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I love this one.

My personal favorite, one that has not yet been mentioned is this: any pocket pair is warranting of committing one's stack pre-flop. 2's, 3's, 4's, 5's, the main goal should be trying to get it in pre since "it is just a coinflip with 2 overs." Of course, we will not take into account that the hands willing to get it in with you pre flop might be better than A-K. In conclusion, with any pocket pair, a huge raise is a must because "that's the only way to play those!"
I won't lie, when I first starting playing I felt the same way... For about a month...
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Old 04-27-2010, 04:23 PM   #291
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

I love this thread. The older I get the more I realize that the majority of the population in the U.S. is made up of idiots that don't think things through.

Thank God I live in this wonderful nation of idiots and get to play poker with them everyday.
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Old 04-27-2010, 11:24 PM   #292
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Originally Posted by cuddlesgeage View Post
I love this one.

My personal favorite, one that has not yet been mentioned is this: any pocket pair is warranting of committing one's stack pre-flop. 2's, 3's, 4's, 5's, the main goal should be trying to get it in pre since "it is just a coinflip with 2 overs." Of course, we will not take into account that the hands willing to get it in with you pre flop might be better than A-K. In conclusion, with any pocket pair, a huge raise is a must because "that's the only way to play those!"
Played with Joe Cada, eh?
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Old 04-28-2010, 09:12 AM   #293
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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Played with Joe Cada, eh?
Lol. I was thinking that too. I specifically remember the wsop final table when he called Antoine Saout's all in with 22 when Saout had QQ.
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Old 04-29-2010, 03:32 PM   #294
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

At the Trop with 2 buddys at a 2/5 table. We are spread at seats 2, 5 and 8. Half drunk guy sits at seat 6 (to my left) says he just left the court house, bad day, and wanted to try poker. As bets are being made he ask "exactly how does that scale work?" we all look at each other wondering WTF? He ask again and points to the automatic shuffler, and says" does it tell us how much is in the pot or is that how they track the bets?"

LOL for a few we thought it was BS until he donked off multiple re-buys to put him down over 3K. My buddy in seat 8 had the best of him, when the idiot attempted a bluff.
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Old 05-02-2010, 12:06 PM   #295
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Not so much advice, but a guy who is full of hot air.

My cousin stayed with me the week of my wedding last summer. The day of my bachelor party, me, three groomsmen and my cousin started up a friendly 20 dollar tourney.

After playing a couple hands, my cousin won a very small pot and started talking:

"My roommate and I went to Vegas. We played at the bellagio, where the world series of poker was."

The rest of us stare dumbfounded. "It's only at the Rio" says I. "No that year it was at the Bellagio." I try saying it was probably WPT, but insisted it was WSOP.

"My roommate was so stupid. I played for hours at a 2 dollar table and he lost 100 bucks in like 5 minutes at a 1 dollar table" More quiet stares follow.

"Were you at 2-4 limi table and he was playing 1-2 no limit."

"No. I was at a two dollar table and he was at a dollar table. I cleaned up. They thought I was a pro."....

We knocked him out three hands later when he went all in with a flopped low pair against my trip jacks...he then went up to his room and didn't come out for 4 hours when it was time to go to the party.
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Old 05-02-2010, 01:01 PM   #296
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

Guy I played with yesterday wasn't a bad player but he was telling me about this one time he folded AA preflop....

He was up ~500 in a cash game and had one opponent tilted. He was about to leave when it went raise, reraise by mr. Tilty, and the dude had AA on the button.
He decides to 'be nice' and fold and leave...
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Old 05-02-2010, 02:57 PM   #297
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Re: Stupid & Funny Advice that Donks give you

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Vegas, live tournament hero's m=5. Hero has AQ and pushes. Called by CO's TT and hero hits an ace and scoop the pot. Other donk not in the hand (angrily) "AQ???!!!, you keep pushing with that junk and we'll see how long you last!" Hero

BTW- donks hate AA and JJ (and they really hate JJ) because they do not know how to play them and do somehow do manage to turn them into long term losers. Example- limping with JJ, and letting 5 people see the flop (really common). AA- min raising and then absolutely REFUSING to fold no matter what the board or action because "I has AA"

HAHAHHAHAHAHAH @ THE JJ THING....ALL THE TIME!!!!

one of the guys is really cool though, although im really sure he is a losing player, he is a cool dude, he always always always always everytime he has jacks, goes on and on about how he just wants everyone else to fold when he raises preflop, only hand he does it with, i wonder if he realizes people pick up on that sort of thing


this is my favorite thread ever.
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