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Sometimes you just lose it Sometimes you just lose it

09-22-2022 , 04:52 PM
Hi all,

I was wondering if there was ever a time you just lost it at a poker table, like just totally let your emotions get the best of you, and what happened, or if you've seen it happen.

The other day I was playing plo. For some reason I cannot explain this game tends to attract a certain type of personality, much moreso than hold 'em. Cringe personality types.... Anyway, I am playing in the 7 seat and a player fitting this description sits down in the 4 seat. He is a whale. He talks a lot, talks smack, gloats when he wins, jokes about "shooting" or "robbing" people at the table - i.e., beating them in a hand (funny? not to me). I was already turned off by his demeanor. I didn't help that I'd been losing to him nonstop the past couple sessions, almost always as a favorite.

I lost to him in two relatively big pots this session as a favorite, again, all in preflop (he had garbage and I had AA). The third hand is where things went off the rails a little. I limp utg with double suited kings. The button, also action, isolates to $25 (he can have any crap here). One caller and the aforementioned whale makes it $105, I backraise to $400, call, and whale calls for a little less. I flop top set, get called by the button for a side pot and hold against him. Meanwhile, whale at showdown say "he can have that little pot, pass me the main pot, nuts!" And tables QQJxx...for the runner-runner nuts. I end up losing on the hand because the whale had more than the side pot. He starts gloating again and celebrating, and, upset, I tell him he may be good at talking but not at poker. "What are you good at" he asks. "I have all the money, you can't win a pot against me." Then he says, "I'll smack your a$$." I get upset and say "you're not smacking that a$$." This last comment really got under my skin just after losing yet another pot to him.

The next hand was dealt and in my emotional state I mucked really aggressively towards the whale's hand - the cards almost touched them but didn't, and he still had a live hand. Whale picks up my mucked cards and throws them at my face really angrily; thankfully they did not hit me and landed on the floor behind me. The floor was called and we were both asked to leave for a day (according to the supervisor he was asked to leave for "at least" a day).

I don't lose control like this normally but for some reason the combination of this personality, losing a lot to him, and his comments really got to me. Have you ever lost it at the table before or seen someone lose it?

Thanks,
DT

Last edited by DumbosTrunk; 09-22-2022 at 05:03 PM.
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09-22-2022 , 05:00 PM
No.

Getting angry at the table is, at best, cathartic. Most often it just makes you play badly. Then there are the worst outcomes.

Strive to be better.
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09-22-2022 , 05:53 PM
Years ago, I used to get angry at the "poker gods" but not any particular player. The only person I get angry at today is myself and that is off the table when I do a session review.

Until you can control your emotions around this villain, just move tables.
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09-22-2022 , 06:56 PM
What venice wrote.

We all have bad reactions, to varying degrees, at times. Maybe the dog was barking all last night and you didn't sleep, had a shitty day at work (IOW, you went to work), whatever.

It's how we handle those situations that makes us who we are as players (and people). Keep working at it, you'll get it.

As my old friend DaveB used to say, "embrace the chase". Let them make poor calls without the right odds. Over time, the $ will flow to you.
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09-22-2022 , 07:57 PM
Guys like this are hoping for confrontations, you're playing right into his hand. Just ignore him the best you can, maybe put on headphones as soon as you're all-in during a hand with him. They don't even have to be on, just so he knows you're not listening to him.
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09-22-2022 , 08:10 PM
I could be wrong, and I know you admit you lost your cool, but the way you describe the story does not sound correct. For you to both be 86d either you did the worlds worst job explaining yourself to the floor, or you're overstating your opponent's behavior, or you're understating your own.

For me, I'm calling floor the second someone I don't know mentions any type of violence or thievery against me, joking or not, unless they're the biggest whale in the room and I'd bet my life they're incapable of violence.

I'm far from a tough guy, but I've been in countless altercations, and have had all kinds of people give me a hard time at the table, but have never come remotely close to raising my voice at someone. Some times I feel negative feelings and it's impacted my game but even that's pretty rare at this point. It just doesn't make sense. Even before my temper abated over the last few years, it's just such a controlled environment I never got worked up before remembering myself.

If you're there for a good time and he's bugging you, move tables. If you're there for a good time and he's bugging you and you like the table, call the floor. If you're there to make money and he's making the game bad by scaring off bigger fish and whales, call the floor. If you're there to make money and he is the game which is how you've described it, recognize that you're there to make money, and he's there to have fun being a jerk. It's your job to give him his money's worth, he's literally paying you.
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09-23-2022 , 02:08 AM
Story sounds right to me. He whipped a hand at another player that he just got into a verbal screaming match with. Thatís a no-no. Then it escalated to the point of someone throwing cards off the table at him. Personally reasonable to send them both packing for the day.

As for OP, you have to learn what the line is. I sometimes confront jerks at the poker table, but you have to make sure to not curse, not raise your voice, keep your cool. If you canít do that, youíre better off just taking a walk. Come back with a better mindset. Youíre supposed to take a break every couple hours or so anyway, so just take a walk.

I almost never get into fights with players because I will be the bigger man if I have to be.
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09-23-2022 , 08:30 AM
I wouldn’t say I lost it, but closest was one time when I check raised heavy on the turn and some grandma who was owning me called and then I jammed River and she snapped me and hit trips. I folded a little harder than normal and they rolled toward her. It might’ve looked like I threw them at her so i grabbed them quickly said my bad and nice hand. I happened to be standing too cuz I left after that hand I think lol
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09-23-2022 , 09:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by checkraisdraw
Story sounds right to me. He whipped a hand at another player that he just got into a verbal screaming match with. Thatís a no-no. Then it escalated to the point of someone throwing cards off the table at him. Personally reasonable to send them both packing for the day.

As for OP, you have to learn what the line is. I sometimes confront jerks at the poker table, but you have to make sure to not curse, not raise your voice, keep your cool. If you canít do that, youíre better off just taking a walk. Come back with a better mindset. Youíre supposed to take a break every couple hours or so anyway, so just take a walk.

I almost never get into fights with players because I will be the bigger man if I have to be.
That's kinda my point tho, he claims there was no screaming match, that the opponent was berating him and all he said back was "you're not gonna slap that A$$." He also specifically mentions that he threw the cards and they didn't even reach opponent's cards. How hard can you whip cards where they don't even go 6 feet in the direction you whipped them?

It's irrelevant to the point of the post so idk why I'm stuck on it, but it just seemed weird to make a post about flipping out, and then write a story where it seems he never actually flipped out lol
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09-23-2022 , 10:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dilly_
That's kinda my point tho, he claims there was no screaming match, that the opponent was berating him and all he said back was "you're not gonna slap that A$$." He also specifically mentions that he threw the cards and they didn't even reach opponent's cards. How hard can you whip cards where they don't even go 6 feet in the direction you whipped them?

It's irrelevant to the point of the post so idk why I'm stuck on it, but it just seemed weird to make a post about flipping out, and then write a story where it seems he never actually flipped out lol
Well, he flipped out enough to get kicked out of the card room for the night.

I don't want to give any "don't s*** where you eat" advice because acting in a way that gets you kicked out is a bad thing in general, no matter if it's at a poker room, nightclub or your kid's soccer game. But if you play to make money, you should always keep in mind that your local poker room is basically your place of business. Starting trouble there might have long term consequences and having to tip those away isn't beneficial for your bottom line.
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09-23-2022 , 01:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by venice10
Years ago, I used to get angry at the "poker gods" but not any particular player. The only person I get angry at today is myself and that is off the table when I do a session review.

Until you can control your emotions around this villain, just move tables.
this^^^^^


plus rule numro uno #1 in poker NEVER-EVER- TAP THE GLASS
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09-23-2022 , 03:57 PM
Look thereís donít tap the glass and then thereís having no dignity because the whale knows youíre a pushover and treats you like one. Donít try to start a fights but I think itís misguided to let people treat you like **** because they are whales. Moreso in a public room where the whales are forced to play against you anyway.
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09-23-2022 , 05:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by checkraisdraw
Look there’s don’t tap the glass and then there’s having no dignity because the whale knows you’re a pushover and treats you like one. Don’t try to start a fights but I think it’s misguided to let people treat you like **** because they are whales. Moreso in a public room where the whales are forced to play against you anyway.
1. The whales are forced to play against players if they play poker. They are not forced to play with someone they don't want to play with. Not the same thing.


2. A whale trash talking and treating you like **** are also not the same thing.

3. The bad beats in the original with AAxx and KKxxds don't seem like they are big enough favorites to be complaining about losing.
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09-23-2022 , 06:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by checkraisdraw
Look thereís donít tap the glass and then thereís having no dignity because the whale knows youíre a pushover and treats you like one. Donít try to start a fights but I think itís misguided to let people treat you like **** because they are whales. Moreso in a public room where the whales are forced to play against you anyway.
The whales aren't forced to play against you. They can table change or just spend their time doing something else. You're not going to be very popular with the other regs if you chase away a whale.

Besides that, you can just ignore the guy if you're not interested in engaging with them. If grabbing your phone and not looking at them isn't enough you can always put in headphones.
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09-24-2022 , 03:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DumbosTrunk
... He starts gloating again and celebrating, and, upset, I tell him he may be good at talking but not at poker.
as a pro I do my personal best to stay even keeled so this has never happened to me. The part I quoted is really bad imo. When I get nuked I tell em nice hand ,and I generally say it like i mean it - not some passive aggressive tone bullshit.. Thats it. If they overcelebrate cuz they got lucky I tell em congrats. A ton of these guys main goal is to fcuk with people, and when you took the bait - he won big time. You made his night.
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09-24-2022 , 06:57 PM
Never lost it, I have raised my voice to people when I didn't need to twice, one of the guys is a reg that I'm now cool with because tacitly we both felt a bit bad about it. Third occasion I lowkey threatened a guy but phrased it as a joke at his expense and the table broke up laughing because he was being a massive tool. All of these times I should have shut my mouth one or two sentences earlier plus with tool guy I should have just changed tables. There are a couple of regs who rub me the wrong way and I could see myself getting into it with them, but I change tables ASAP if they get seated with me and I don't make it personal, I just say 'too many good players at this table' when I bail.

I have an explicit goal to be the guy that is never a problem. I want to be known to never lose it, never berate another man's play, never get into arguments with players or dealers. Partly because if I do get into a situation, I want my reputation to go into bat for me. Partly because I'm the kind of player no-one wants at the table, I'm a huge nit who patiently sits for hours waiting for hands...if you're that kind of guy, don't aggravate people by being a dickhead as well.

Last edited by WereBeer; 09-24-2022 at 07:03 PM.
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09-24-2022 , 10:04 PM
If you're losing control of your emotions, then you need to play a lower limit game.
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09-24-2022 , 10:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DisRuptive1
If you're losing control of your emotions, then you need to play a lower limit game.
Honestly I doubt this is particularly helpful, and for me it's the opposite. It's very rare that I've "lost it" while playing poker, but the time I lost it the most was in a $10 buyin home tournament. It wasn't about the money (obviously) or any kind of bad beat, it was about people doing things improperly and messing up the action, over and over again. In a low limit home game people just don't take things seriously, and after having played for serious money in casinos for years, I couldn't scale back my expectations, and I learned I really just can't play low limit poker for fun anymore.
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09-24-2022 , 11:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by chillrob
Honestly I doubt this is particularly helpful, and for me it's the opposite. It's very rare that I've "lost it" while playing poker, but the time I lost it the most was in a $10 buyin home tournament. It wasn't about the money (obviously) or any kind of bad beat, it was about people doing things improperly and messing up the action, over and over again. In a low limit home game people just don't take things seriously, and after having played for serious money in casinos for years, I couldn't scale back my expectations, and I learned I really just can't play low limit poker for fun anymore.
That's hilarious and true, the longest and angriest poker argument I ever had concerned a ~$50 PLO pot in a home game. Player A bets pot OTT, player B responds with 'raise pot!' (any raise put him all in), player A 'what's the action?', player B says 'pot' again, player A says 'call!' and fastrolls quads for the nuts, player B tries to backtrack on his action (weirdly out of character for him, think it was a combination of tilt and booze).

Player A wisely stayed out of the argument and I was the only other person who feels very strongly about the rules being followed. I was red-faced by the time he finally put the chips in and so was he. I was close to calling him some things which would be hard to take back.
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09-25-2022 , 11:26 PM
"Just lost it! Ah ah ah ah ah!!!" - Eminem
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09-26-2022 , 08:57 AM
There are a few rooms where they just remove both sides of an issue for the day. It can really be a bit unfair since a Player could 'reasonably' get involved with another Player just to get them kicked out also.

There's lots of comments about everyone at the table looking miserable or just 'plain'. A lot of this stems from 'having to' control emotions so you look the same for the ups as you do the downs. IMO it's unfortunate that Pros, and for the most part a lot of Regs, need to put on an act at the table in order to continuously get as much action as they need to be a profitable Player.

If I feel a Players has made a subpar play 'for them' I might comment on it, especially if I'm on the losing end. But it's certainly not that I don't want the call/action, it's that I go into the proverbial 'play better' mindset FOR THEM as a Reg to Reg thing. In the end I feel it's better for both of us, and the game overall .. I win the smaller pot (when they fold instead of call/shove) and the Reg maintains his stack to be used against other Players in better spots.

I got a PLO call the other day because a Player had heard my 'excuse' (reasoning) for making a play against a much tighter Player, not realizing that the play is not as 'justified' when you apply it to my range based on plenty of history. In this particular hand I had 85% of their possible outs dominated but they still hit the River and took down the pot. Obv disappointed I only laid down the two cards I was playing and held onto the other two for the 'funeral'. In the moment I wanted to be sure that the opponent was paying full attention when I laid down the other two cards as I didn't want to blast them verbally in front of the 2-4 other newer Players at the table who might not recognize the peril of the spot. The silent look and the very brief tabling of the cards before I turned over all 4 of my cards to muck was enough of a message .. and the unnecessary emotional outburst was avoided by taking a more gentle approach. Don't show you say? Well, I was first to show anyway and this opponent typically wont lay anything down unless you table your whole hand.

As to the OP's point .. I've only 'lost it' at the table when it was my last hand anyway .. and it was due to a slow roll in all cases. GL
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09-26-2022 , 10:52 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DumbosTrunk
Have you ever lost it at the table before or seen someone lose it?
I've seen people lose it many times, including times that lead up to physical altercations, assaults, bans and arrests. But for someone who seems to play a lot (based on all the times you post) you really need to keep your emotions in the parking garage to be successful in poker.

If you don't like someone at you're table (whether in a hand or not with them), just transfer to another table if you're gonna let it get the best of you like that. You were the instigator here (when it should really be the other way around), but there has to be a reason why you're getting mad like that since the majority of people who play poker don't get mad in those situations.

Whatevers causing you to tilt like that, it's probably something that you can easily fix whether it's certain food that you're reacting too (especially foods fried in seed oils or a bad diet in general), drinks, medications or substances, until you can figure it out don't play with people who ruffle your feathers.
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09-26-2022 , 01:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by checkraisdraw
then thereís having no dignity because the whale knows youíre a pushover and treats you like one.
I'm having a problem coming up with any way how someone else acts at a poker table would result in me having "no dignity".
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09-26-2022 , 02:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Didace
I'm having a problem coming up with any way how someone else acts at a poker table would result in me having "no dignity".
You think letting a whale abuse you and **** on you after every hand in hopes of catching a crumb of EV is dignified? lol
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09-26-2022 , 03:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by checkraisdraw
You think letting a whale abuse you and **** on you after every hand in hopes of catching a crumb of EV is dignified? lol
I mean, is he just running his mouth or is he spitting (literally) on me? I tend to overtly laugh at blowhards, right in their face. And seriously, describe how someone at a poker table could possibly "abuse and ****" on me.
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