Bump. Saw this guy the other night for the umpteenth time.

The Punisher (super aggro/no gears)

Description: This player is more often than not an early/mid-30 asian guy. He will double up to 600 on a 1/2 table hitting 2 pair with K3 and will then start Punishing. Open raises to $25 are common. Will call most any raise with ATC. He likes to watch people squirm playing against his oversized raises and continuation bets. He'll 3 bet to 75 on 15 raise with J9.

Plumage: Nice haircut. Nice shirt. Nice pants. Nice shoes.

Poker Style / How to Adjust: The Punisher gets on a roll and changes gears too late. Good players can adjust by slowplaying huge hands and opening calling range to Punisher's $25 raises with ATC. Punisher will call any minraise, but will fold to 3+-5x raises with nothing, but may call a lot with a draw. You need to punish the Punisher with a leading hand and make him pay on every street. If you catch his attention he will play every pot you are in, regardless. The Punisher almost always gives all his chips away eventually either betting out or calling down a junk hand against a good player.

No fat smelly guys who just came back from pooping in rest room but his hands are unwashed upon returning to table...when you win a pot you try not to touch the chips he put in ?

How about the Bad Beat Jackpot Chaser (BBJC)?

Often doubles as an OMC, but not always. These guys will grind it out day after day, just waiting for that one-in-a-million hand to strike on their table. Very passive style, trying to see as many cheap flops as possible. They will look at you as though you just shot their dog if you raise preflop and as though you just got their daughter pregnant if you bet big on a wet board. They'll shamelessly collude with one another, announcing when they have a BBJ hand or using a predetermined code word to be 'subtle'. Naturally, they will call off a lot with any suited-connector, pair or other BBJ-type hand, so bet your big hands for value.

While everybody loves rumnchess's player profiles, I think his Part XI: Attitude and Etiquette is the real gold part in this post.

I recently got the opportunity to meet him at a poker table in Czech Republic and rumnchess is everything that he describes in this post. His conduct and demeanor is not just professional but engaging and he is very friendly and courteous towards other players and casino employees.

This behaviour keeps a lot of (lucrative) players in the game that might otherwise leave the table. I think that losing players - in most cases - at least need to have a good time while losing and he certainly does his best to help them have a positive experience overall.

His behaviour and attidude display a very positive character and strangely makes you root for him in situations against other players, although the money is so much harder to be won from him than from someone else!

Asian Sexy Stripper (ASS):

Description: Asian female between 25-35. ASS will find an opportunity to let everyone at the table know that she's a stripper within the first 5 minutes. ASS will attempt to use her ass and tits to manipulate you into giving you her money. ASS uses her tits and ass to get money everyday from men without cards, so she see's little difference at the poker table. ASSes display a very confident and proud demeanor because they are not hookers. ASS makes female dealers uncomfortable, as they really turn it up into high-gear, talking about their stripping job when a female is in the box because they instinctively think the female dealer views them much the same as a hooker. ASS will tip lavishly regardless of pot size. ASS needs to be the center of attention and will get in there and gamble.

Plumage: Basically, 7 players' first thought when she sits is, "She's dressed like a prostitute." and the 8th player is gay and doesn't notice. High heels, well-exposed fake tits that are constantly in jeopardy of knocking over her chips when leaning down to look at hole cards, exposed belly, expensive designer bag, expensive sunglasses on head, tiny shorts that you can't imagine would cost $150 for such little fabric, Mr. T starter kit, and smells like morning sunshine on a breezy 72 degree beach.

Poker Style / How to Adjust: ASS will turn a table over. ASS will make everyone want to ask for her number. ASS already knows you want her number. ASS will play loose, and some will play loose-aggressive. ASS doesn't know what a button is, let alone positional concepts; she's playing a mind**** game. When ASS gets beaten out of a pot, ASS will lay it on thick in an attempt to make you feel bad for her. ASS will get players of the same age (i.e., guys who think they have a shot) to soft-play her. If ASS hits, then she's going to make you pay through the nose with psychological tactics; if ASS is weak, then she'll try to convince you to take it easy on her as she's new to poker.

ASS' greatest enemy is the 50+ aged unfit rocks, who she knows are too wise to think they have a shot at her number and will play her accordingly, but she's far too narcissistic to not try very hard to make you think you're at the club, while embarrassing herself in the process, but she can't spot it.

Your style is to loosen up and play a range that is tighter than hers in spots where others can't exploit your adjustment very easily. Next step is to pound ASS every chance you get but talk her up. Make her think you are flirting with her, thinking you have a shot, when you know she came there with her stripper friends and she's leaving with only her stripper friends. She'll indulge you as you thread her along in the hand. Make her believe her hotness is causing you to make mistakes.

If you are a young hot female, then use the steps above; she can't stand the competition and will try to bust you as soon as possible, so use that to your advantage. Of course, in most cases, don't do the lesbian flirt with her. It'll work for many (and get everyone at the table very interested, which you'll have to deal with down the line if you're a reg), but a quicker way of getting the money is asking about her job as you are betting into her. Basically, in a very nice and clever way, make her feel like **** for using her body to make a living, and she'll gift you a bunch of money out of frustration. If you are an average or middle-aged female, then just get in there and try to get you some scraps because she's not giving you any HU action; you are dead to her.

Nice Post. Another similar good one to read that i bookmarked a while back:
http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/27...-easy-1021276/

Suited Junk: I would clarify that this should be in later positions and don't go bananas with top pair when you don't flop a flush draw. Totally depends on your table.

The old man coffee description in the original post is so spot on. Flawless lol.

How about the "I normally play higher stakes" player?
He is distinctly different than "waiting for higher stakes player" because he's often not at his home casino, and there is no bigger game available.

I see this guy frequently at 1/2 or 1/3 at a casino that doesn't usually get a bigger game going. Usually late 20s to early 30s, often Asian but can be white, never black. He straddles every time he can, bets dark, and overbets every pot usually with garbage. His opening raise is 20-30bbs because "I wanna play big pots only". He constantly complains about the lack of money and action at the table, and wants to 'gamble'. He is usually stuck for at least 20k at his 'normal game' and is just here to have fun by losing at least another 1000$. If you snap him off, you can profit enormously, but he can also suck out on you with ATC.

He generally only lasts an hour or so, before furiously searching Bravo for a "better game". Good for laughs, but generally ruins the atmosphere with his boisterous attitude.

The Waiting for higher stakes guy was handled around post 59

Has anyone mentioned the dealer who plays at every game/casino in the region? He loves to smirk at the horrible play that is going on and talks about how ho-hum it was to lose $12,000 when a guy hit a 2-outer.

Decided to contribute something to the community

College chump

Description:Well built

Plumage:Has tattoos and always wears a sleeveless shirt to show his muscles. Shirt usually has some kind of MMA design that you see on famous MMA fighters, or a jersey of a team that he supports.This is usually followed by a baseball cap. Always seems to have a chewing gum. May sip on one glass of beer for the whole night.



Poker Style: basically LAG on steroids. Doesn't like calling preflop with speculative hands, but never passes on a chance to ether raise or ISO with these hands. Flop c-bet of 125% with any hands that he raised pre, followed by about 70% c-bet OTT OOP, and about 50-60% c-bet OTR if any draws didn't hit. Doesn't like folding to 3bets, and rarely 3bets himself, considering that he can bully people out of pots post flop.
MAGWEP's worst enemy, as he can reload more often due to not having a family to support, making MAGWEP lay down a lot of his weak TPs, and having more testosterone in him to bluff. Even if MAGWEP knows his A-high is good, he will never call out his bluffs.


How to adjust: this guy is here is to show his ego, more than to win. He doesn't like gambling pre for some reason, but will bet out all of his draws and overcards like there's no tomorrow especially in position. No particular sizing tells, as he tend to mimic the sizing of the people beside him, or what he has seen people do before, but seems to pick up weakness if you bet small on any streets.
Best way to adjust is to x/call bluff catch a lot of your TPWK/2p hands, and lead out or donk small with your TPTK/sets/2pairs and call a raise, give him a little room to puke out on the next street for a c/r OTT. Remember to c/r big, as these guys see small bets as weakness, and big bets as you trying to overshadow their ego, to which they always reply with a jam or a re-raise. Balanced 1/2 pot bets confuse these guys, and you will see a lot more folds with that sizing, so be careful if you have a good hand that you want to be paid for. But try not to ever bluff, because that's also why these guys are there for, to catch your bluffs, so they can massage their ego.

Lines like c-bet flop, x/r turn are best to squeeze value out of these guys.
Also raise c-bet, check safe turn, and raise river big IP. Although these never play their draws passive, they do calm down sometimes if they have just taken a bad beat.

Hard to pick up tells, as they speak out rarely, but with the info above, you wouldn't need to look for these.

Remember to always say things like "good bet" if he takes down a pot and shows a bluff. Never tap the tank, as even these big looking guys, can get touchy on the inside and leave and never come back.

Very late to the party, but one of the best posts I've seen on Live Poker on this site. Thanks...

College chump is one of the easiest to exploit and after a very short time he will get wise and stay out of pots that you are in. So, he is not that profitable to have at your table after you shut him down except maybe to loosen up the rest of the table.

Hey! I played with her just a week ago. Absolutely stunning. Every guy at the table couldn't take their eyes or attention off her. She kept us entertained with a veritable library of double entendres, my favorite was when I moved to the seat just to her left and she said: "Now you have the position on me."

I said, "I like the sound of that." and the entire table cracked up

Was playing in Florida Sunday, up about $1500 at 2/5, started racking up my chips to leave and was dealt AQ, raised get one caller (OMC). Flops A 3 6 rainbow, I bet 60 he pushes for 350, I smile and fold face up. He shows AA. lol

I am an Internet Kid, damn! But great post! I will exploit my opponents

Great thread! 6*/5.

I'm 31 and I've already been through many of those profiles, including OMC lol. I love coffee :P

Here's one that I believe hasn't been described but fits most of 2p2'er (myself included in my early 20's):

Young Pro-Wannabee (Mix)

Description: Fresh out of college, or college drop out. Has recently witnessed the poker boom or has a few friends that claim to earn $80K/yr through poker and believes he can do this for the rest of his life. Doesn't want to "work" for a living. For this player, "work" consists of studying the game, outplaying opponents, milking the fish who are bad at math, and living freely. Typically single (or has someone he's crushing on) under the age of 25, living with parents, lack of responsibility and absolute and utterly poor bankroll management. Sometimes a winning session or two will be enough to "double" or "triple" up his bankroll (or personal net worth). A few months of upswing will be enough to convince our YPW that he can print money for the rest of his life to the likes of $120k/yr. Downswings are written off as run-bad.

Plumage: Has a poor sense of style and socially awkward. Doesn't care much for fashion. But sometimes will dress up and in the zone. His appearance sometimes greatly gives away on weather his on massive life-tilting downswing, or if he's in the zone about to crush the game.

Poker Style / How to Adjust: The YPW has read a few books about the game and also constantly read articles. He plays online and live. He has poor poker etiquette and believes trash talking will get his FW opponent to stack off 4th pair like it was 2008. He is so socially unaware that he trashes any player that beats him out of luck or skill, including the FW.

This player believes that either everyone plays like him, or plays in a way that is exploitable. If you 3bet him in position with J9s and c-bet it away from him on the Axx board, he will think you have some sort of personal hatred towards him because that play made no "logical" sense. He plays an old ABC style mixed with TAG/TP/LAG and can adjust to opponents. Best way to beat him is to basically disguise your own player profile. So if you're a TAG, show an occasional bluff and he'll pay you off. Try to do so to other players other than your YPW. He quickly understand reverse-psychology.

And finally:

Are you kidding me? Give me JJ any time, all the time please

After just being an appreciator of this thread for years, I think I finally have something to contribute:

The Drunk Euro Spewmonkey (DES)

Appearance: exactly what it says on the tin. The DES is usually heavily intoxicated and is frequently spotted in AC stumbling out of murmur at 2:00 am and spilling sloppily into the poker room, where he will take any seat available in any nlhe or PLO game regardless of stakes and immediately start showing his hole cards to his girlfriend sitting behind him. The ones who aren't pulling fistfuls of high denomination chips out of their pockets will universally try to make their first buyin at the table, even if the room rules forbid it, and will sometimes make a minor scene when asked to go to the cage. In terms of personality, they run the gamut from over-friendly to belligerent but no matter where on the spectrum they lie, they will always aim to be the center of attention. Even if they don't know a single soul in the room, they act like they do because they want to be recognized and feel important.

Plumage: expensive suits or overpriced jeans and button-downs. Aviator sunglasses sometimes. Shoes which always resulted from the death of an endangered species. Watch is usually Rolex or Cartier and might actually be real.

Poker style and how to adjust: if vodka and not giving a **** had a bastard love child, it's this guy, and accordingly he plays as though the money isn't relevant to him in the slightest (even if it is). He is fearless, but not in a way that you should be afraid of. He will often completely disregard the size of the pot and make incredible over or under bets. He is not positionally aware and doesn't pay attention to things like board texture or stack sizes. He is here for the action; he might as well be playing roulette but he likes the social aspect of poker and therefore prefers it to table games. He hates to fold pre so feel free to stick in huge raises with premium hands because he's rarely going away and probably isn't even paying attention to bet sizing.

So the good news is that his range is wide, but the bad news is that his range is wide (even in 3-bet pots) so you will sometimes have to be careful with your 1 pair hands in nlhe (or your baby flushes in PLO) before the river since he hasn't mucked a hand to a flop raise since the Bush administration. You can print money off of these guys, but it is sometimes better to build the pot slowly with reasonable bets and raises early in the hand and then shovel as much money in on the end as you can after you know you're good.

/terrible player profile

This is by far the best thread on 2p2. The player profiling is the nuts. Turned my 1-dimensional game to a new level.

Yesterday this old guy moron folded a set of 9's on QT9r, saying that he put the other guy on a straight just because last time he had a flush.

Later, there is a straddle, a double straddle and... A quadruple straddle.

It's like this: I have $600 in front of me. I double straddle to $10. The donk that folded a set triple straddles to $20 (with $140 behind). And another guy 4x straddles to $40 (with $80 behind). Folder to me I go all in with Q9o. Old guy says "two aces for sure" and folds. The 4x straddle calls with Q2o.

A few orbits later when I double straddle and the old guy triple straddles. Everyone folds. I go all in with 3-3. He calls. Board is not pretty: A-7-J-T-8. Old guy shows:

Old Man Soup (OMS)

In the late afternoon to early evening, OMC is replaced by a disgusting creature I call Old Man Soup. Same as Old Man Coffee, except he has played enough hours today for a food comp.

Read this yesterday and saw this last night:

1/2
OMC raises to 10 UTG
3 callers behind
Flop A 2 7 rainbow
OMC leads out for 30
3 insta-mucks
OMC disgustedly flips over AA and starts pouting because nobody called.

Here's what I usually see--the SDLs(standard degen losers) lots of different classes fit under this catch-all. Any other decent players are immediately recognizable/avoidable, every1 else is a SDL. They may even make the occasional comment about a hand that is correct by the math-but you'll see them disregard that same math far more frequently...sit there and take their money, it's inevitable anyway. occasionally feel guilty about it.

Just lol'ed at work, very funny.

Sent from my HTC6525LVW using 2+2 Forums

What would you want to be in that list? I think everyone's goals should be to be FW. Although you are cluelessly dumping money at the table, the energy all the socially awkward nerds spent on studying Poker, you spent on studying business and life and are making 6-figures. You have a house, a beautiful wife, possibly a modest to nice car, income security, health benefits, RRSP's, savings, stocks and a life.

A losing streak of a few buy-ins for you and you have a story to tell. The same inevitable streak for some will lead them to sleep in their car and eat ketchup for breakfast, or worst, drop down to short-stacking the 1/2 NL. Because God forbid they have to work for a living.

This punk kid virgin sits down with half a buy in, over-raises the BTN, gets called by the FW. C-bets the flop, continues on the turn and when the FW reached for chips to raise, the kid beat him into the pot by slamming his whole remaining $100 in front of him and flip over aces. Everybody and their mother were praying the FW had him out-classed on what was the KJT8hh board. FW had KQhh, bricked. It went like something like this:

-Middle-aged nit from across the table: "Mr Professional. Guns ablazzing with the bullets huh".
-Punk-ass kid started giving a speech to the likes of "And when you put that much they don't think you have aces".
-Suddenly, everyone at the table ignored him, including the FW. Not even an eye contact.

It was a beautiful moment. As to say "grow a pair, earn some money, move out of your mom's basement, and then talk".

The Flagellant

Description: Middle-aged or older male who plays poker (and gambles in general) as a form of self-punishment. Flagellant will almost always be drinking and may also be a smoker. Basically everything he does is in line with his philosophy that life is a hopeless uphill battle, and you'd do better to embrace your role as a loser than to struggle against it.

Plumage: Generally disheveled appearance. Especially watch out for careless things that set the Flagellant up for potential misfortune, such as excessively messy chip-stacking or walking around with untied shoelaces. (These "oversights" are deliberate.)

Poker Play / How to Adjust: Flagellant actually wants you to win. Rather, he wants himself to lose so that he can wallow in it, gripe, and hopefully absorb pity. He will bet small and let you draw out on him, and then he'll bet/call his stack on the river when your obvious third diamond hits. He'll play trappy when it's likely to screw him over, but jam into weakness with cinch hands to sabotage his chances of winning a big pot.

Think about what hand you'd least like to have in any given situation, and Flagellant's range will be centered around that—the trap hands, the sucker-end straights, the baby flushes. That no-man's-land is his bread and butter. He will of course also play big hands, but you'll always know because he'll play them in the worst, most obvious way possible.

Beating Flagellant at poker (or anything) is a trivial matter. The main adjustment you need to make is giving Flagellant his money's worth of pity and commiseration to keep him in the game as long as possible.