I own an upstart online poker co.

Trust fund baby

Ok this was really funnny. I LOLed hard!

WTF is a spork salesman?

No.

I think you could say that you are self-employed in the entertainment industry. As poker and gambling can be construed and considered as being part of the entertainment industry. Therefore this would not be considered or construed as a lie necessarily. But you might have to be more hazy on other details if people press you for specifics. Is this a good response you think?

I never tell anyone what i do for a living

You could say that you legally launder people's retirement income from them and their tuition money from their children.

You could say something like, "Just playing poker. I don't have anything else going on right now."

The advantages of this answer are:

1. If poker is your main, or only, source of income, you don't have to lie. (Of course, no poker player would ever do that.)

2. It doesn't make you sound like a scary pro.

3. For people that like to make friends at the table, and in this economy, a lot of players will sympathize with you not having "anything else going on right now". And players that like you will like playing hands with you, even when you take their money.

At 2/5 or below I think it is may sometimes be useful to use a
response that obscures where the majority of your income comes from, but at high stakes most recreational players just assume that anyone under 30 sitting deep in an uncapped game is a pro, so I don't bother lying if asked (although I certainly
would never bring it up on my own).

In my "home" casino everyone knows who the full-time poker players are so it's not a big deal. Most people also know who the WINNING players are. I wouldn't care if Phil Ivey wanted to sit down and play some $1/2 or $2/5 in our poker room as long as it wasn't 9-Phil Ivey's and 1-me. As for the higher stakes, if you play higher than $2/5, don't you have to ASSUME there will be pros playing?

I've seen a lot of responses that indicate hesitation to admit to being a professional for fear that it will have a -EV impact on the bottom line, and I don't think that needs to be the case. If you have a cold, hard, tight image at the table, you're not going to get action and not make as much money. Even if you PLAY tight, ACT loose by talking, being friendly, joking around, etc. It helps the time go by and by being friendly the other players won't be "out to get you" as much. If someone loses a hand, look them in the eye and tell them, "Tough hand." If they win a hand even if they shouldn't have, tell them, "Nice hand."

I remember reading a quote from Doyle Brunson a while back, and I think it was about tourists coming to Vegas. To paraphrase, the interviewer asked him why tourists would play with Doyle and the other big-time pros to basically give their money away. Doyle responded that the pros treated the tourists with respect, never belittled them, and felt it was their job to be entertaining and enjoyable to play with so the tourists would come back and donate money again in future visits.

"student"

they always laugh on the inside when you say this btw

They laugh harder when you tell them "poker pro" in a 2/5 or 1/2 game.

Poker pro, lying to make money is fraud, lying to protect yourself or your kin is good. But when the casino staff ask for ctrs I tell them male prostitute. Consider adding a wink and "for you id go half off"

Say:

"I'm a producer"

Why do you have to specify what gender you are?

I'm definitely going to steal this

glad everyone has liked it so much

I played pretty regularly over the summer and never played below 5/10 and although I got the question a million times and answered student every one (which is true, although poker made me slightly more than most students over the summer ), I never got the question of how are you playing this high at all. I'd get the standard follow-ups of what are you studying or what year are you etc. (although occasionally I'd get the "good, make sure you stay in school, this isn't a career" from people who clearly understood, but they're trying to be helpful and I think for 95% of people and certainly myself it's good advice) but I disagree with you that the follow-up of asking how you're playing that high is "inevitable". In fact I'd be pretty offended if someone asked that and probably reply either with a joke if I was in a good mood (that clearly implied it was none of their business) or just outright tell them it's none of their business where I get my money to gamble from. I think that question is similar to asking someone how much they make as a follow-up to asking what their job is.

Also +1 at never tipping a dealer again if they tell someone you're a pro, and in case my quoting of the last post wasn't enough I think it's super lol not only at how many 1/2 live players think they're pros but also how the lower stakes someone is a "pro" at, the more fragile their ego and the more they seem to have the need to make everyone at the table know they're a pro. The real pros are the ones who don't need confirmation from other people, because the confirmation is in their bank accounts.

At one point I was on a downswing with the risk of going broke. Someone asked me if all I did was play poker for living. I responded with,"I'm a pro til I go broke."

3 or 4 people were listening and started nodding their head. A light bulb went off in my head so now that's my standard response. Everyone has the the idea in their head "oh he'll go broke just like I would."

Definitely not if you're playing in LA.

When people ask me, i say im a hedge fund manager and i play zynga poker a lot so why not try my luck at live play, after all how different can it be?

Works like a charm

In a way it's understandable when someone asks some version of the "how much did you win?" question. Money is how we keep score, and on TV there are always comments like, "That's Joe Blow in seat six. He's already up two million in cash games this year."

But as far as answering such questions, I tell the truth--my wife likes to keep our financial matters private, and I repect her wishes.

If I had said "I'm a poker pro" I could understand the question more than the salary question. When I answer "I'm a student", I think the question of where I'm getting money to play 5/10+ is downright rude and like I said I've never gotten the question ever and wouldn't take kindly to the question whether I'd made money from poker or whether I got the money from some other means whether it was my parents or some side job I work or whatever. Asking a student where he gets his money is getting into his private financial information and especially given the odds that such a player might be a losing player it just is a terrible follow-up question to ask that no person with any class would ask.

I agree that it's classless, but poker is one of those professions, along with professional sports and movie acting, where the public enjoys knowing how much we make, whether the poker player is a tourning pro or a college student/ I'm sure that the many actors who are barely making a living get sick of those questions. About a month ago I heard someone ask his poker-playing friend how much he makes in the local $30 charity donkaments.

My honest answers (I'm not currently a pro, have played as a part-time pro in the past) are good ones for people to use if they don't feel like joking around.

I'm a freelance sports journalist (work is very tough to come by) and I do freelance web design to keep some consistent money coming in.

Basically, take anything you know a little bit about (in case you get follow ups) and throw freelance in front of it. Freelancers can make their own hours, thus playing poker at random times.

Obviously, sports journalist often creates further conversation, which I don't mind because I like to keep my tables loose and talking... Sports convos are great to get people talking.

If I'm not in a talking mood, I cut that one out and just use the second half. I rarely get a follow up.

LOL