This had me laughing out loud!

Thinking my two hole cards are something they aren't and losing alot as a result of that

Hehe that's great

Most embarrassing thing I have done at the table was trying to make a joke and getting the floor called on me for it. This is in Sarasota, where I used to live, and was very close with most of the staff and many of the players.

One night about 4 years ago a girl around my age (late 20s) was really drunk on my left. I had been joking/needling her, but it was 100% jovial up until this point. She was sniffling and coughing a lot, and I asked if she was sick. She mentioned she was exposed to red tide, which for those who don't live near a beach is like an algae bloom that causes respiratory symptoms. I said something to the effect of "I'm surprised you have a red tide problem UP THERE. She lost it and said, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN, UP THERE?" I started to apologize but the table had already turned against me. I tried to make light of it by saying I was just trying to make a joke, it was late, and I wasn't thinking right. The floor gets called, she complains, I offer to go for a walk, because at this point she's extremely emotional. Bad timing for a joke I guess.

Here's some insight into the female psyche: while guys may or may not think it's a "joke" when they say something insulting to another guy, most of females don't find it funny when the "joke" is nothing more than an insult followed by the expectation of laughter. Even more so when the "joke" is about appearance, attractiveness, bodily functions, intelligence, competence, etc. You crossed the line no matter what the circumstances. The male sense of humor is wired differently. Oh, and in case you're wondering, most of us females don't find it funny when guys have farting contests at the poker table either and we are in the "line of fire".

Thanks for the lecture Queen. I'm sure Licuala needed reassurance that his joke was out of line.

Yeah I think he gets what went wrong. He did post this in a thread about embarrassing things we've done. Maybe we could make it a thread rule that we NOT PILE ON when someone comes forward with an admission to something embarrassing?

Is that really a racist term? We have adopted kids that are a few months apart and people have said "Irish Twins" to me before and I never took it as racist.

Nit: Irish isn't a race, so it isn't "racist" but it is offensive in that it's derogatory towards the Irish. Similarly to calling people Pollocks and implying they're stupid is offensive to Poles.

Not 100% poker related, but I used to play mostly blackjack in the casino before I found poker. After that I spent all my casino time in the poker room. Eventually I went to a casino with some friends that did not offer poker, so I sat down and played blackjack for the first time in years.

One of the first hands I get dealt a hard 18. The play gets to me, and of course I don't want a card so I rap the felt as if to "check". The dealer does a nice job and asks me "are you sure, sir?" "What? Yes, of course!" tap-tap

"Hitting 18!" I realize too late what I've done and bust. It wasn't for much money - maybe $10, but it was awfully embarrassing.

I did exactly this once and it cost me $25 and my pride.

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I don't play blackjack often, but used to occasionally when my poker game died early and I wasn't quite ready for bed. Just followed basic strategy charts. One time I doubled my bet after seeing that I had 11. Dealer maybe asked me if I was sure or something, I confirmed. He yelled out "doubling a stiff" and then gave me another card to my 6 and ....oops 7, so I actually doubled on a 13. I guess he yelled out suspicious plays to the pit boss to keep an eye on possible card counters.

Anyway, it all worked out fine. I didn't get in trouble or anything. I got an 8 for my double which gave me 21, and my taking a card made the dealer bust instead of getting something good, so I saved the table that round and all cheered yay me!

First time playing live in awhile i accidentally snap muck the best hand on a paired board where villain was counterfeit, like $200 pot @ 1/2 ldo on like second hand at the table, also told table how much of an idiot i am. Maybe it helped my image? still left down $ and tilted at such a dumb mistake.

Reread the part I quoted -- his conclusion was that it was "bad timing". :-/

And on another note -- not me, but one of the most embarrassing things I've seen in a poker room:

A guy walks up to the front of the room (where the only entrance/exit doors are, and in front of the check in desk) to a spot where he's visible to the entire room. He turns around so that he's facing the doors and proceeds to dip his hand down the back of his pants and starts rummaging about his posterior like he's harvesting dingleberries. He spends a minute or two doing this

WTF was he thinking?

.

My conclusion is that you're trying to turn this discussion into a 'fix why he felt embarrassed' discussion because clearly why he felt embarrassed was wrong in your eyes. You're still picking at him when he's admitting to being embarrassed about it.

This is a self confessional thread and I still would suggest it be one where people can own their embarrassment without getting jumped on.

There's already a thread for things you've seen OTHERS do. How about you open up to your own ****-ups instead like the other posters here have been doing?

FWIW, I loved the red tide joke.

Offering to take a walk instead of being told to take a walk suggests that the poster knew he made a faux pas and was making an attempt at making amends....rather than someone not regretting what was said. Additionally posting in this thread...saying the MOST embarrassing thing...... should be another clue that perhaps...just perhaps,,,,, this poster had learned his lesson...ALREADY. Piling on Queen, was totally uncalled for.

[condescending]
But woman are always right so maybe we need to change the direction of this thread. Perhaps turn it into a thread about what others do that are weird or embarrassing. A mod should probably delete the post on page one that already has that as its main premise. That way mama queen bee can be happy.
[/condescending]

LOL that's painful man. Yeah just don't go there in public. But the first step is to admit mistake and laugh about it. Yeah really inappropriate and awkward HAHA

Disagree 20 years of marriage here speaking (over course of 2 wives mind you) - laughing about it only compounds the mistake.

The best and only safe course of action here is to apologize, say, "I'm so sorry, that was completely inappropriate and I don't know what came over me." while looking completely shamefaced. Anything else simply escalates the situation and there IS NO WINNING here, only ending it quickly.

When she leaves the table you can laugh w/ the guys about it, but not before. Make sure to say, "pretty good mea culpa too don't you think guys?"

31 years of marriage agrees that the post above nails it.

Interesting thread...

I used to be a very sore loser at the table. I still take losses hard but I have learned to be mostly gracious at the table and go bitch and moan to a mirror somewhere.

So at the height of my douchiness, I hosted a home game. I took a rough beat, full house over full house or something like that to put me out of my own tournament that I was hosting. I got up, threw a bad of pretzels against the wall, and stomped out of the room.

I have been notorious with that group ever since because apparently that bag of pretzels was just suspended in the air unnaturally while the pretzels spilled out.. and they all had quite the laugh at my expense once I was out of earshot. I am still all these years later embarrassed by my behavior.

Oh look, another case of someone wearing headphones and not being able to hear there action, causing a major problem!

If it helps any, my wife thought it was funny.

I once flipped a chair at a cardroom after I thought I got scooped in a gargantuan pot in an O8 game. It turned out I got half.