Right, the "computer hand" thing predates online poker by a long time. When I started reading RGP online poker was in its infancy (Planet Poker had just opened) but the computer hand thing had already been around for years.

I have the same problem with ppl showing a single hole card (where they have a pair or something) and it always makes me mad because I paid for the right to see your whole hand.


I was playing once against a fish who routinedly doing this. In a hand I had JJ on a Jxx flop, fish shoves, and I call. In showdown he asks "What do you have?" I reply " I paid, you show me".

He then opens a J and Im like "Ok have it your way" and I open a J too. He then opens a 7 , for one pair, and I open the 2nd J, for a set. Needless to say he went to super-tilt.
Thing is that many thought me as the "bad guy who didnt have pity for a loser."

You were, you have a VERY likely winner, just show it, who cares, especially after he shows a J, you know you have him for sure.

You are just slowing the game and making it unfriendly at the same time.

Come on now. I think the "show one card" thing is stupid too and unnecessarily slows the game down but why in the world would you pull that crap on a fish??? You know your hand is good and that he probably has a weak jack, so just show your hand and take the pot.

The only thing worse than the "show one card" crowd is the "make the other guy show so I can slow-roll my trip jacks" douches. If you got top set on a non-straight non-flush board, flip your cards over as soon as you are called, and let's all move to the next hand. You aren't going to gain .0000001% of information on what two rags the calling station donk had.

This kind of thing has happend to me a few times. I had a friend at a home game turn quad aces (with 3 aces on the board) I had KK and pretty much felt I had the goods, he check-called the river, i almost shat my pants

I asked "Why didnt you raise the river?" he said "I didnt want to scare you away"

The trouble with online poker is now lots of people have an attitude that it's their god given right to see both hole cards at every showdown no matter what. I agree just show your nuts and move on with the game.

Anyways, I was playing $1/2 at the Seneca casino in Salamanca, NY, which is an Indian casino in the middle of farm country. I was drinking alot and had been running good so when I made my hands I was putting in huge bets and getting paid since everyone thought I was drunk, which I was. Now, I'm a pretty bad NL player since I play mostly FL so I don't need criticisms about my play here, but anyways.

Anyways, we're playing a pretty big pot which had been raised preflop and gone multiway.

The final board is 7QJ Q 7.

I'm on the button with AK it's heads up on the river. I put the other guy on a pocket pair and think I can bluff him off it, so I put in a big bet which he calls.

I sigh and say, "I have ace high" and turn over my hand, ready to muck. The fish proudly turns over 55. The dealer looks at both hands for a second and pushes me the pot. The fish gets all confused and explains he has a pair and I don't. Once it was explained to him the guy was livid and sat there steaming for another 15 minutes before getting up to leave.

In this case the guy with the set of jacks was the caller, so it's reasonable to wait for the other guy to show first since he was the aggressor, but if the fish demurs, making him show needlessly prolongs things.

After reading a tun of posts I know I can’t top anyone. I do have a few really common poker ‘lolgic’ that is used a tun.

LOLGIC #1

2/4 limit. I raise on BTN w. AK, SB calls. Flop was 725 he check-calls, turn another 5, he check-calls, river ten – I have nothing – check check. He rolls over J10

He had no pair or draw, I joke and say “Nice flop for ya?” he smiles. I say “So, I don’t get it, you just think I’m going crazy with 8 high?

He goes “No, I just wanted to see what came out, I might get a jack”


After playing with the guy for a few hours I find that he plays 100% of his hands preflop. He’d even call capped-raises pre with like 52o. I said “Do you play every hand?” he goes “Well, you never fold before the flop, ya never know what’s gunna come out!” I go “Oh, makes sense” and sit back and continue shuffling.


LOLGIC #2

1/2 50bbmax NL – I’m in the BB w. QKs, was a little tilted. Some guy in early position makes a $5 raise (2.5x), the ENTIRE table calls. I couldn’t help myself and shove for like $90. Everyone folds and this guy calls with 22. He said he thought I had AK and wanted to see if could flop a set. Gamble it up?

LOLGIC #3

I was playing online in front my friend, a former co-worker. Virtually EVERY time I bet on the flop he would say “David, I wouldn’t bet, he could have [insert nuts]” He watched me play like 15 hands and kept warning me that “he could have trips!” or “he could have a straight” I tried to explain that those hands are pretty hard to get, so most of the time they wont have them, he said he would never play poker and bet if another hand could beat him because then he would lose.

LOLGIC #4

I had a friend tell me he always plays “Royalty” pre-flop. I ask what that means, he said “Anything with like a 10 or better in it” so I asked “So Jack 4 offsuite?” he explained he could get a royal flush so he should play it. He lots his ass going crazy with K4 on a king high board against the other players with playable hands like AK/KQ lol.

I tried to help him out with his game, and talked about being pretty snug pre-flop. He watched me play Rush poker and almost had a panic attack watching me fold K10o UTG and A8 in middle position to a 3bet from early lol.

LOLGIC #5

1/2 50bbmax NL – I raise to $7 UTG w. 55, everyone calls and this guy with around $200 re-raises to $17. I briefly look at the players behind me, and of course they tell me their action by their hands (call or fold) I wanted to consider my implied odds so I ask the guy to move his arms to get a count. The stacks were close and with the players behind me it was right. I call, everyone calls. I check-dark, he bets all big and I move in. he had AK on a A5x board.

Some old guy to my left gets mad and says “What the hell was that?” I go “What?” he goes “Why did you ask what he had” I said “Well, I wanted to see my implied odds, ya know, what I could make if I make my hand” he goes “PFFFF, who cares, you have a pair, u never fold a pair” I go “Oh ok” he goes “You watch too much TV, you probably play online” and preceded to call me “.com” all night

LOLGIC #6

1/2 50bbmax NL – it’s folded to SB who gets upset and says “Are you kidding me” and folds AK. He’s asked why he folded and said “Well, there’s no money in the pot” (it was blinds vs blind)

This reasoning it used a TUN. I’ll see headsup pots go to showdown where both players have great hands, they chip the $4 and say “There wasn’t nothin’ in the pot! I aint gunna bet” – LOLIGC FAIL

lol thats pretty good

Yeah, after I thought about it with a clear mind I regret about it and I realized that it was a -EV move, since the fish could be pissed off and leave the table. Thats not like me at all, but I really wanted to give this guy a lesson cause this "I show one card, show me your hand" really annoys me.

Your 'lesson' atittude sucks. We are not at school and you should not be trying to humiliate bad players.

Don't most people in 2-4 play like that? That sounds routine to me, nothing like the "most absurd poker thinking."

So I was at this table, a drunk guy spewing chips just betting/overbetting pot if you checked, and a donater to my right(about 80$ at 1/2). Utg limped and mp limped, drunk guy on btn limps and sb limps. I check w q2o no club. Flob is Qc6c3c drunk guy bets, sb calls every1 else folds. Turn is a a non club 7, drunk guy bets, sb says "I have you beat right now, but i KNOW you have a ton of outs so i fold," he shows KK no club. Drunk guy looks flabergasted and flips over AA no club.

I lol'ed hardcore at this.

In a tournament I push for ~5000 on the SB with blinds at 600/1200, guy at the BB (leader with something like +40k in his stack) looks at his cards and say: "I have to call for the pot odds" and turn over AJs...

reposting this here because this is amazing...

So I was playing a live donkament this weekend and I saw the most spectacular thing I've ever seen in a tournament ever. this was a $350 buy-in tourney, which for a podunk indian casino is kind of a big deal.

I sit down only to find that my table draw run bad has continued, and I am placed with three of the LUCKIEST, run-hot SOB local donks...I mean, these are the guys who are ALWAYS sucking out with KJo vs. my AK, etc. *facepalm*

This is a great structure, 30k starting chips, 45 min levels.

FIRST hand (blinds are 25/50):

Lucky donk #1 is in the small blind. CO is a guy I've never seen before, seems like a kind of nervous middle aged guy. folds around to CO, who limps. folds to LD1 in the SB, who raises to 150, BB calls, CO calls.

flop is AQ3r. checks to CO, who bets 350. SB calls, BB folds. heads up to the turn.

Turn is T SB looks excited and bets 1000. CO raises to 3000. SB calls.

River is a blank. SB bets 1000 again (lol). CO raises to 3k. SB reraises to 6k. CO goes in the tank.

CO says "A STRAIGHT BEATS ME................I'M ALL IN"

SB snap calls with his crappy KJo, doubles up first hand of the tournament. CO had AQ. The rest of the table is literally sitting there with our mouths hanging open, and the ONLY reason I knew it wasn't deliberate chip dumping is that we had never ever seen this guy before in our lives.

even better, now lucky donk 1 has a mountain of chips.

I wish i could have a signature here...i would make it be my new favorite donkey quote: "A straight beats me. I'm all-in!"

This part qualifies for this thread all by itself....

i beat 2-4 on a carnval cruise to mexico for 900 dollars, paid for my whole trip

lol i beat them in the long run because i fold KJo UTG rather than raise with it, but i of course am using a bit of hyperbole to intensify my story (the fish was THIS BIG). make a thread if you want though

FFS, did your cruise span a whole year? How many hours did you play? I can't believe you think this is proof of anything.

btw, $900 for a cruise? That is really cheap.

I was playing 3/6 at a PA casino. When only five players saw the flop instead of the usual 7-8, a player to my left sighed and said 'FINALLY, this game is playing like 3/6 instead of 2/4.'

was playing last night and middle aged chinese women raise from LP to $120HKD with a stack of $500 guy repops it to $300 she calls flop is Q39 with the flush draw.
puts her all in for her last $200 she rolls over the ace high flush draw and he rolls over Jacks.
she hit's the ace on the river and then tells me how he should never raise with the Jacks and there was queen on the board and she could of had the queen.
she was going on and on all night about how she plays and i wished to god that i had my headphone with me .

Just trying to get an honors mention of your own in the thread, or do you genuinely not see it?

3/6holdem. Guy UTG raises pre-flop. Half way through the hand, a 'regular' at this particular establishment says "You can't put two bets in if you're the first one in, you have to start with one bet."

Everyone: "WTF, GTFO."

Regular: "A floor told me that the last time I was here."

Dealer (deer in the headlights): "Oh, okay, I guess that's the rule then."

Table: "WTF!! FLOOR!!"

Floor comes over and explains this basic rule of holdem. After he leaves the regular mutters "I think you're all wrong on that."

The last time I was at a B&M I was playing 2/4 limit and there were 2 people left in the pot at the river. A man bets out, then the other guy calls him with the nuts (ace high flush on non paired board vs other guys smaller flush).

Someone asks "why didn't you raise, you had the nuts" and he replies, I didn't want him to fold, I wanted to show it.